Those are the days
by Nali Nube
Summary: MERDER AU:Life is a challenge. Sometimes we mess up and we end up regretting our mistakes for the rest of our lives, after all we don't get second chances too often. MerDer decided to split up, due to Derek's difficulty at dealing with the tragedy that happened to them so he gave up, but by trying to make his life better he just turned it into a living nightmare.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! I had been thinking of writing a Grey's Anatomy fanfiction for way too long so this is my first try at it! Sorry if it's too bad, to justify myself I am from Portugal and I studied Applied Mathematics at university so numbers is definitely what I am good at, although I have used a lot of letters in maths too, now that I come to think about it, maths is more letters than numbers actually. Well whatever I hope you tolerate it :)**

Meredith woke abruptly from her sleep, the whimpering of the child next door made it impossible for her to remain asleep. She got up from bed and noticed that the first rays of the morning sun were starting to lighten the dark night and soon it would fill the room with light that neither the curtains nor the partially closed window sheds could contain.

It was two steps from her room, the room of her son. Her boy was only five, almost six, with light blonde hair just like she used to have when she was his age, according to the family's old photos. His head was peering from his room, definitely ready to seek the comfort of his mother's bed and the safety that her presence would provide to him.

"I had a bad dream mommy." He told Meredith as if she had questioned him about him being up from his bed at only 6 a.m.

"I heard you Mikey! But you don't have to be nervous about going to your new school. You need to rest and sleep so that you can have lots of energy to keep up with your little new fellows."

"It wasn't because of the new school!" He argued stubbornly. "It was about… a dog chasing Ronny really fast and… he was going to be eaten… by it… -he was uncertain while telling his story until his mother stopped him and picked him up, she wouldn't be able to do it for much longer, he wasn't a toddler anymore."

"Let's go sleep a little while longer in mommy's bed, peanut. You don't have to be scared anymore." She put a stop to his clearly made up story, took him to her bedroom and put him inside the bed covers.

"Can Ronny come sleep with us too? Just to be certain that he will be fine too." He added cleverly.

"…. Ahmmmm… Ok! But just this once, we can't make a habit out of it and besides he has his own bed." She went to the bedroom's door and called. "Ronny ronny ronn…" It didn't take a fourth time to call, soon after the third, their sleepy cat appeared, meowing and happy that he was being summoned.

"C'mon you crazy most beautiful cat in the surface of the Earth… Ronny." the cat recognized her son's voice and soon was getting near him so that he could rub him behind his ears.

"Let's all calm down, you have school in 3 hours and I have a day at my new job, and I'm pretty sure Ronny has a lot to do too so let's just sleep." Michael put his head in his mom's chest, the way he liked to calm down since he was a baby.

"Mommy what if no one likes me?"

"You'll make loads of friends, I am sure of it." She knew he was referring to being in school.

"What if I am bad and can't learn stuff and be intelligent like you and daddy?" He doubted himself too often for his age.

"You are going to be great and you going to love it! Besides you already know all the alphabet and sums and multiplications. Don't worry about it sweetheart."

"I am not!" He muttered confidently. "Ok, let's sleep a while longer… Will I see daddy tomorrow?"

"You mean today? Yes, you will see your father, he will come to take you to school with me. Now let's sleep for an hour more."

At 7 Meredith prevented the alarm from blaring its noisy sounds so that Michael could sleep while she got herself ready for the day in front of them, he had calmed down and fell into a deep sleep. She took a shower, a little longer than she usually does in the bathroom in front of her bedroom so that Michael wouldn't wake up and then went on to get the coffee ready and feed Ronny, who had been impatiently rubbing himself against her legs and licking her face before, when she was still in bed.

"Hey you hungry silly cat! Bon appétit!" She said chuckling, as the eager cat put his little mouth in the plate full of brown moister meat. "I am going to wake your little friend now."

She didn't even get close to the stairs when she heard someone knocking on her door. Of course daddy was already there.

"You do realize you are 1 hour early and Michael is still asleep." She said to the black haired, blue eyed guy in front of her door.

"Well, good morning to you too! I was anxious, it is first day at his new school and since I wasn't there for his first kindergarten day or for his first pre-school day, neither for his first step nor…" He added bitterly.

"Don't start already, it's only 7h45 in the morning, and you sure are quite repetitive…"

"Well, I am going to get him ready since he is still in bed. Do my duty as his dad for once in awhile."

"Go! Well, just so you know he is the reason I put up with you and I came home because of him needing his father close by, stop being such a jerk!" He was going to retaliate but their boy appeared on top of the stairs.

"I knew you would be here daddy!" He ran down the stairs in his pajamas and messy hair to embrace his father. Even though the environment was heavy between his parents, the boy definitely cheered everyone's mood and put a stop to all the impeding accusations.

"Hey, superman! Today I am the one who is going to get you ready for school, bud! Come, mom will get the breakfast ready."

"Cool!" Said the eager little boy.

"I am glad you'll miss me Mike…" said Mer a little more bitterly than it was supposed to come out.

"I love you too mom!" He said making a point and giving his mother lots of sloppy kisses in her face.

"Go with your dad, or you'll be late. The clothes I picked up for him yesterday are on the top of the chair in his bedroom." She said addressing Derek.

"Ok, I got it! Let's go little monster." Derek said to his kid while rushing him upstairs.

She was actually glad he came early, she knew he cared and loved their son deeply and though they resented each other for a lot of things, if she could, she would still pick him as his son's father. Although their lives didn't go as planned, their son was their priority and his well being was the most important thing for both of them and that was why she decided to leave Boston, the Brigham's hospital, her mentor the chief Dr. Margaret Goodwin and her son Martin, who became more than a friend and loved and cared for her like no other. He proposed, she made it clear though, that although the love she bared for him, her son would always be her number one priority and she couldn't promise a future to him when she was still linked to another man, her son's father.


	2. Chapter 2

**A big thank you for all the reviews, I hope you like this chapter as well! This story is definitely MerDer and it will get there eventually! Thank you to unnamedconspirator** **for the suggestion, I love your writing btw! I am glad you guys like Ronny the cat, it's actually a tribute to my cat who has been missing for a month, we all miss you so much Sleepy! And one more thing I envision Martin to be like Giacomo Gianniotti (Andrew DeLuca on Greys).**

Meredith and Derek had made a promise when they split up. Derek, at the time, wanted to go conduct a new fancy trial for a treatment plan to help people who weren't eligible to have their tumors surgically removed. He wanted to be able to find a virus which would shrink and end up eliminating completely the tumor's malignant cells without damaging the healthy neurons of the brain.

The idea was far-fetched and too grand of a dream, but if accomplished, the Shepherd name would be known to everyone inside the medical field, he would have good odds of winning the Harper Avery's award and would be requested to treat the most important people in the world.

When he told Meredith about his dreams, she tried to understand but she couldn't keep her understanding in check when he asked her to move to Washington with him and their son, even though at the time they had already divorced. She said he was megalomaniac and he thought that the world resolved around him, which it didn't.

Michael, at the time, was 3 months old and lived with Meredith full time. She explained that she also considered moving away to Boston as she had been offered a fellowship in General Surgery by the doctor who had accessed her in her final residency boards, but the idea of leaving her son without a father wouldn't make it possible for her to commit to such a change and Meredith thought he would make the exact same decision but she was wrong after all.

They agreed, the most amicably as possible, that when Michael reached the age to enter elementary school they would both return to Seattle and support together their son through then afterwards. And while both of them developed their careers in different parts of the country trying to accomplish all their professional dreams in different places with a common factor, Michael Greyson Shepherd, they had to agree in how to make his life as normal as possible given the situation.

They decided that Meredith would stay with him full time as he was still a baby and being breast fed, Derek would stay in Boston 8 days every month in which he would spend all the time bonding with Michael, he made the BRAIN initiative make a clause in his contract that said that he would get all his weekends off combined every month in exchange of him working without breaks in the rest of the month. They fortunately had agreed and Meredith's and Derek's life went on as peacefully as possible for the first year of little Michael's life.

The issues started when they agreed that Michael would start spending Derek's week with him in Washington. Meredith then started dating again and that didn't sit well on Derek as he thought she was trying to replace him in his child's life. Meredith thought him selfish as she was sure he had been screwing women for a long time before and she wasn't meant to be a nun, she knew she could be a single mom but she opted not to. Martin came to her life when he entered the residency program at the Brigham's, she was acquainted with him before, after all his mother became quite a good friend of hers but only when he started his internship and working under her, the sparks between them flied.

He was young then, he was 24 years old while she was 32 at the time. He was impossibly handsome, tall, with light blue eyes, curly brown hair, a toned body and the excitement of being a brand new doctor. He was caring, smart, funny and far more responsible than his age would tell. Michael was 4 years old when they started seeing each other, casually at first but then they found themselves happily in a committed relationship.

And Derek found himself incapable of moving on and found only despair in his heart when he saw Martin Goodwin playing the happy family with his son and his wife… well not anymore.

 **2 years before**

"Hey Dr. Grey! I need you asap in the closet next to room 35 in the 4th floor." Dr. Martin Goodwin, a brand new first year resident by then, told his boss quietly so that the nurses wouldn't hear their conversation.

"Asap? Dr. Goodwin don't tell me it's a matter of life or death?"

"Actually it's known to provoke everlasting life effects this… specific situation… Lack of mental concentration, or better said, only focus in fond memories and completely inaptitude to do this important job accordingly."

"Well, it does sound quite serious! " Meredith Grey said with a serious face. "I see that your holidays didn't leave you well… rested."

"Ohhh! I am too rested, that is the problem here, I definitely need some exercise to… "

Martin didn't have time to finish his sentence when beside him appeared his mother, Dr. Margaret Goodwin, hugging excitedly Meredith Grey .

"Good morning Margaret!" Grey said with a bright smile greeting her mentor after almost a month gone.

"I missed you darling! The beach and the sun and the no putting up with the rest of the lousy hospital board sounds good in theory but there is nothing better than the rush that kicks our blood through our bodies when doing a surgery and saving a life. Hey honey where you telling Dr. Grey about our holiday?" She asked, addressing her son.

"Actually I was allocated to assist Dr. Grey today with her cases." Answered Martin to his mother.

"Ohhh ok! Well, we have to get lunch today and I will tell you everything but first I really do have to tell you that Amanda became a woman, finally…" Margaret said, referring to her 15 year old daughter. "She was so excited."

"Ohhh I'll text her to congratulate her, I told her that she would have to wait, mine came actually at 14, it's not that uncommon not to get it by 13."

"Hey, girls, I am a guy and although I am a doctor, I appreciate not hearing about my little's sister menstrual cycle, it is awkward…" Martin said, clearly embarrassed.

"C'mon you baby, his father Marcus was just the same when I told him. I just remember when you started asking why your pee-pee was up all the mornings, you know you grow up, everyone's body grows and develops and it's a good thing your sister is having a normal puberty." Margaret Goodwin continued, while her son pretended to asphyxiate with every word she said. He was saved by the beeping of his mother's pager. "Well, talking about boring members of the board, well Raymond Kendrick is paging me, he must want to talk about assets, liabilities and other accounting nonsense I am not good at. Or maybe he will keep harassing me with questions about you, Meredith, so that I can fix you up with his socially awkward son Blake. I must go now. Martin, make mama proud!" Goodwin finished her sentence by kissing his dear boy and patting his cheek.

"Crap, my mother just ruined my mood…" Said Martin embarrassed with what just happened. "Thank god we don't get together too often, she is insufferable!"

"But you were just going to tell me about your pee-pee, I think she just continued your thought process, a mother has a connection with her son, definitely!" said Meredith chuckling. "Goodwin, don't be angry, let's have our super secret meeting in the supply closet, just remember we have a surgery in 35 minutes, you'll have to work fast, I can't have my surgeries delayed as I have a hot dinner date with that Kendrick's son tonight."

"You better be kidding!" Meredith smiled at how possessive he had gotten over her.

"Well, I was hoping you'd fill in the shoes for him actually. Michael is in Washington with his father, we'd have the house for ourselves."

"As tempting as it sounds, my mom is keeping up with my schedule and she will notice I won't make it home tonight. She is a total control freak! And I have to go pick up my sister from her piano lessons today."

"Yeah, you are right, you are no longer an intern, you have more fixed schedules. Damn…"

"Maybe we should come clean! It's been half a year, it's not meaningless anymore, you are my girlfriend and I would have preferred you had gone with us, as my girlfriend, to our family holiday. And… my mom loves you. She will be over the moon."

"…..Ok! Let me think about it! Maybe over lunch today, we'll tell her but now I guess I have an itch only you can scratch." Meredith Grey winked at her former intern and they both went in separate directions with a common destination in mind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everybody, it's Friday YAY! Everyone is so nice in the reviews, thank you for the kind words! I am MerDer through and through and they will definitely get together but it has to go step by step. I decided since the beginning to put some soccer in this story (for me it's football as I am from Europe but as Grey's Anatomy is an American show, I will try my best to use American English), I love soccer and unfortunately I don't know anything about American Football nor basketball nor baseball, I hope that even if you don't like/know soccer, you will be OK with it, it's not too much! I wish you all a good weekend, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

It was Michael's fifth birthday and Derek took 3 days of leave from work to spend them with his son. He was amazed by how quickly he had been growing up, soon enough Michael would enter first grade and he would have to relocate to Seattle, all three of them would, as it was agreed 5 years earlier.

In the morning he prepared a suitcase with some clothes and the thing he absolutely couldn't forget, Michael's present. He bought him a magic apprentice set so that he could learn how to do some magic tricks and an anatomy book for kids, he would like his son to start knowing a little about his parents work field, even if it was the basic stuff.

Derek left his fancy apartment and got into his car, an expensive silver Porsche that he bought 5 months ago for his own birthday, and made the small trip to the Bureau Research of Anatomy and Investigation of modern Neurology. He would have a shorter day as he had his flight at 6 pm but it still would give him some time to work in the project. He had a group of 5 researchers come to his office to inform him of the updates in their current thesis of work. Each of them, one by one, informed Derek of their progress and would leave to go back to the laboratory. As always Renee stayed behind and was the last one to present her work. She was the youngest of them all and somewhat pretty, very bubbly and also too forward with him. He knew if he wanted her in his bed, it wouldn't be a difficult task but only the idea of being with her left him feeling uneasy.

"Hello Derek."

"Renee how is it going?" He asked impatiently.

"Pretty good, how are you?"

"I meant with the research, how is it going?"

"Well, I summed up all the investigation I did during these past 5 weeks and wrote this report about it. I like to keep things neat and easy for you to come up on them." She said, staring deeply into his eyes, with her own big blue eyes.

"So Sult, tell me your advances in your hypothesis, is it ready to put into action?" He said while skimming through her report about the conjunctions of possibilities and which ones would be more probable to effectively test in a sample of rats. He couldn't concentrate as he was damn sick of all her flirting.

"It is going pretty well Dr. Shepherd, a few bumps in the road but with all things considered, it is going faster than I expected."

"The synaptic timings discovers you may find, will help us immensely so keep up with the work and if you need my…"

"Well, I was hoping you would stop by when you returned from your holidays. Spend a week seeing in which ways I could improve my work methods and I would like to know more about the repercussions of my work to the general project, if you would be available for a lunch work date today." She asked hopeful he would say yes.

"I won't have lunch today, I will be leaving by 4 pm as my flight is at 6 pm, I will eat something in the airport." He said, feeling happy inside to have a credible excuse. "Maybe when I come back, but I will be really occupied and busy with all the work I won't do in the next 2 days."

"Ohhh you are flying! Will you be seeing some relatives or just enjoy a few days in a beach to work on a tan?" She said as desperate as she could to keep going their conversation.

"I am visiting my son, it's his birthday. I can't leave his mother have all the work with his party, then she will be cranky and you know what that means to men when women are cranky…" He implied they were together, everyone knew he had a son but wasn't married, he liked to keep his personal life private and she was annoying him too much, so he just hoped that would put a stop to all her hopes and dreams about him.

"Ohhh, well, have a nice flight!" She left blushing, feeling ashamed of her behavior, and regretting the way she had acted towards Shepherd. Everything she did had been pointless, he was clearly whipped.

It was almost night when he landed in Boston, the first thing he wanted to do was see his son, then he would go do the check in at the hotel nearby Meredith's house. He was tired from the flight and was dreaming of having a long hot bath and a glass of red wine but the cheeky face of his almost five year old kept him energized enough to make a stop by to his mother's house first. The taxi took him to Meredith's fairly quickly, she lived 20 minutes from the airport in a townhouse with a little garden and a park with some swings at the front.

She lived well, he had to admit, he paid her some money as child support but she insisted in not using it and instead putting it in an account for when Michael reached adulthood. He was hoping they would be home by now, they weren't expecting him today, he was only supposed to come tomorrow but he wanted really badly to surprise his son. Thankfully there were lights inside the house. He paid the cab, took his suitcase and went to knock on the door. Soon enough a guy came to answer the door.

"Hello!" Derek said, he was uncertain if this was her house, though it was the address she emailed him. She changed from her flat recently and he had never had the opportunity to see her new place. "Is this Meredith Grey's home?"

"Yup, it is! You must be Michael's father, Derek, right? Come in man!"

"Yes, it is me." he said uncertain of who this man was.

"We were only expecting you tomorrow! You can leave your luggage here and take out your coat." The guy was nervous, Derek could tell.

"I am sorry I didn't catch your name." Derek was trying as hard as possible not to sound pissed at not knowing who was greeting him in his ex wife's house.

"I'm sorry! I am Martin Goodwill, I am Meredith's boyfriend." He said giving his hand to Derek to shake. Derek's worst fear turned to reality, this boy was his ex wife's lover.

Suddenly from what he assumed to be the living room came a loud voice.

"What's taking you so long Martin? You just missed Cristiano Ronaldo's goal. I hope you are not starting to eat the pizza without me." His son was definitely talking to this Martin guy and it seemed like he was supposed to be just the pizza delivery guy, he felt sad, after all he was his father.

"Mike is in the living room, come!" Derek did as Martin said and found his son sprawled in the sofa watching a soccer match on TV.

"Daddddyyyy!" Michael went to hug his father as soon as he saw who it was. "You are here!" He gave sloppy kisses to Derek's face while Martin awkwardly stood there.

"I missed you so much bud! You are so big." He felt the happiness in his son's by how tight was his embrace.

"Yeah, I have been working out with Martin and we play soccer and soon enough I will have muscles like he does." Derek suddenly felt inferior, he had Meredith, he was young, worked out and would spend time with his son. "Right Martin?"

"Of course mate, soon enough you will be like a professional wrestler, all muscle."

"I want to be a soccer player, just like Ronaldo. Dad, you know mom says I am the best she has seen in playing soccer, Martin doesn't like to hear it, but I always score more goals when we play."

"That's true, little King Kong, you are just like a little Rooney." Martin added with a smile and messing up Michael's hair.

"Where is mom, son?" He made it on purpose to avoid asking Martin about Meredith.

"She had to go to work." Michael said simply.

"She will be back soon though, her patient coded and she was paged but he didn't make it far into the operation. She just texted me 5 minutes ago." Added Martin.

There was a knock in the door. Martin looked up to Michael's big blue eyes, who gave him a big smile and both said:

"Pizza night!" They then high fived each other.

"Sorry Derek, it's a thing we do when we have pizza for dinner! Take a seat, I'll grab you a beer and we'll wait for Meri, we'll all have dinner together."

"I don't want to intrude…" Derek said, it would be a very awkward dinner.

"You don't, you are this awesome kid's father, stay and make him happy. Have dinner with him." There was a knock again.

"Go Martin or he might leave with my extra cheese bacon pizza!" Said Michal eagerly.

"I'll go get the pizza, get the table set for dinner and do the salad. You should have fun, and Derek don't let him make you watch soccer if you don't like it." Martin smirked, he was more at ease now, Derek realized he knew he was the man of the house and he shouldn´t feel threatened by Derek.

 **20 minutes later…**

Derek took a short nap in the sofa as his son wanted to watch the game really badly and Derek only wanted to rest a bit, while Michael watched the game peacefully. He woke up abruptly with a door opening and footsteps in the hallway, Derek rubbed his eyes and stood up. There she was, Meredith, so beautiful and still looking so young, he hadn't felt like that in a long time ago, after all these years she still took his breath away, but she wasn't his anymore and he was the only one to blame.

"Derek! It's good to see you!" She said politely, handing some food containers to Martin.

"Meredith, how are you?"

"Good, I see you decided to make a little surprise."

"I'm sorry for dropping unexpected." Derek said, actually regretting his decision of coming sooner.

"It's fine!" Soon Martin came from the kitchen again, meanwhile Michael was still glued to the TV. "Hey Derek I went to get some chicken nuggets and French fries to accompany the pizza and the salad, I hope you are OK with the menu."

"You know I am usually a health nut but today I'll make an exception." Derek told both Meredith and Martin.

"It's bad but it tastes so good." Added Martin looking devilishly at Mer.

"I am just going to freshen up you will get the food ready on the table?" asked Meredith to Martin.

"Yes, I will take care of it." Said Martin, Meredith then went to the living room to give a kiss to her son while he complained that she was interrupting the match he was watching, she got her kiss and then went upstairs.

Derek followed Martin to the kitchen to see if he needed help.

"So how long have you two been together?" Asked Derek, a question that was bugging him since Martin announced himself as Meredith's boyfriend.

"Close to a year, but seriously committed only for 5 months." Said Martin hoping he wasn't saying anything he wasn't supposed to.

"So you met my kid in those 5 months that you've been serious, she already gives you the task of babysitting him. Don't you feel a little pressured, what are you a 20 year old university kid? Are you really looking for a family and such a commitment?" Asked Derek slightly upset about all this situation, he noticed a movement by his side and suddenly Meredith was beside him with angry eyes.

"Derek, your presence is accepted in this house only because it's beneficial to Michael, that is the only reason I accept you in my house. Don't go attacking my boyfriend because you may feel I am your property." Said Meredith full of rage as she entered unnoticed in the kitchen. " Martin could you please go sit with Mike for a bit while I speak to Derek."

"Sure, if you need anything…"

"I'll be fine, I just need to put some things in their right place. Look he is doctor, he is a resident actually. He has known Michael since he was a baby because his mother is my boss and good friend. And our age difference is lower than yours to mine and you hadn't seen a problem before, so what's the matter now? I am happy, Michael and I are happy." Derek knew he crossed the line but he just didn't feel like apologizing nor he didn't exactly know what to say. "I was going to offer you to stay here for the night, but it's best that you'll go to the hotel, look take this take out, eat there and come tomorrow to pick your son until his birthday party is all set up, it's for the best."

"Well, you might be right! Just let me go kiss my son and call a cab." Derek knew he messed up, he was exhausted and didn't feel like having to do small talk with Meredith for the rest of the evening, just to pretend like everything was okay between them in front of their son.

"Martin!" Meredith yelled and asked as soon as Martin appeared. "Will you please take Derek to his hotel before we eat our dinner?"

"Sure, let's go Derek!" Martin grabbed his keys and went to get his car out of the garage so that Derek could put his stuff inside.

"So I'll see you tomorrow!" He went to check on his boy. "Hey son, daddy is really tired and he is going to the hotel to get some sleep. You won't mind bud?"

"It's fine! You'll still be here tomorrow." He kissed his father and went to watch the rest of the game.

The ride to the hotel was silent, Derek took his suitcase and thanked Martin for the ride. As soon as he stepped inside the hotel room, he laid in his bed, wanting to get some sleep, the evening had given him an headache. Sleep didn't come easily and when it came, he was haunted with the image of the only woman he ever truly loved and who he would never have back.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey Y'all! I hope you are all well! So I decided to update the story as a way to celebrate Portugal's passage to the last 16 in Euro 2016, (YAY the dream is still alive) So here comes how Meredith got a cat in her house and also the beginning of part of the main storyline that will be further developed in the next chapters (hint: it's about one of the 3 M). Thanks so much for all the reviews, I appreciate every single word you write and it makes me really happy people are liking this story! This chapter is a direct continuation of the previous one but the next one will be about the time when Mer and Derek were still married and living in Seattle, just to let you know. But for now, let's continue with Michael's fifth anniversary!**

Derek woke up feeling happy, today was Michael's birthday, everything else didn't matter. Five years ago his life became a happier one, when this tiny human being appeared in his life. This pinkish, bald, small, premature baby turned into a little boy, who became the only joy in his father's life.

Derek loved his job for sure, he was committed to it, even if he wasn't having any success with his trials in Washington, he was a hopeful guy, he hoped that anytime he would get the answers he was looking for and the results he craved. In his personal life, however, things weren't as bright. Derek knew with a certainty that he would never be able to get over Meredith, he was a pathetic loser pining for his one true love. That realization didn't come quickly, it took time for him to acknowledge how important Meredith had been in his life. His damn pride was what screwed up his life, nowadays he wasn't as entitled as he used to be, he changed, he grew up with the lack of Meredith in his life and now he could see all his past wrong deeds to her.

It was 9h00 in the morning, he had been sitting in the park bench in front of Meredith's house for 15 minutes getting the courage to knock on the door. The morning warm sun felt good against his skin, he was watching all the strangers go on with their lives, as society expected from them. From his right, a family of four was leaving their house, the man was holding hands with the woman and he had this smiley baby secure in his right arm, the woman had a little girl holding her hand, they kept talking, but Derek couldn't hear them, they were going in the opposite direction, how he wished that would have been Meredith and …

"Derek!" He heard someone call his name, of course he knew who it was before he looked at her.

"Good morning Meredith!" He said smiling at her and standing up.

"So what are you exactly doing? And don't pretend you've just arrived, I've seen you come out of the taxi a while ago" She was serious but she didn't seem angry like last night, which he was thankful for.

"Just… waiting some minutes before getting inside! I didn't want to wake you up!" Derek tried to sound believable.

"Well since I am the only one, between the two of us, used to hospital shifts, it would be very improbable for you to come before I had woken up!"

"Ohhh Meredith, even when you were an intern I remember quite fondly the ways you would try to bribe me to make us stay in bed for an extra 20 minutes…" He said giving her a warm smile that she reciprocated with a small one and he didn't miss her blushing cheeks.

" Whatever… Just come inside already, you do know there is no boogeyman in my house? " They started walking towards the house.

"I am not so sure about that, you were pretty scary yesterday… But I did in fact deserve it, after everything that happened, I know I don't have a right to judge your life… I am truly sorry" Meredith looked surprised with his words.

"I wasn't expecting to hear that from you, are you sure your ego can handle it?" Meredith joked.

"I just wish you had told me about him before hands, my son came to stay with me last month and he didn't say a word about the dude. I was… surprised and… exhausted and that made a bad combination"

"It's fine now! Today is a new day and we get to celebrate our baby's birthday, five years ago he came so unexpected and not really wished for at the time, but he is so wanted now and life was never as full as it is today, thanks to you too for that!" Meredith had a joyful expression.

"I also want to thank you and I brought this with me to show my appreciation to you! It's just nothing compared to the 8 months you carried him, it's just something small!" He took out a small package from his pocket and handed it to her.

She took away carefully the red paper wrap and opened the box inside of it. There was a white gold pendant with a beautiful M in it, with some diamonds incrusted in the letter, Meredith was amazed by the gift.

"Owww Derek, this is a bit over the top, don't you think?" Meredith asked.

"It goes for Michael, Meredith… and Matilda too. And you definitely deserve it and so much more, you deserve everything Meredith" Derek said, they were standing on the hallway now, both staring at each other's eyes neither wanting to look away, until Derek started staring at her lips and Meredith then came down to earth.

"Well, thank you! So what did you get him? Just to be sure we had different ideas?" Meredith asked taking him to the kitchen and fetching a cup of black coffee for Derek.

"I got a magic set and an anatomy book" Derek replied.

"An anatomy book? Seriously, he's 5, he is not anywhere near college so that you can try to put your surgeon's dreams and hopes on him. Jeez he is not even in elementary school, let him play a bit, he is too intellectual for his age"

"Well anatomy is fun… C'mon it's age appropriate! What did you get him?" Derek was anxious to know, he so wanted to earn the title of best birthday gift.

"Daddddyyyyyy …." Michael was on top of the stairs and started running and screaming happily down the stairs, Martin just behind him. "I am five!"

"You'll find soon enough Derek! Be careful buddy, daddy is not going anywhere!" Meredith replied disappearing from his sight while Michael launched himself to Derek's shoulders and gave him lots of kisses. Derek noticed Martin nodding at him and disappearing after his ex-wife.

"Happy birthday kiddo! Daddy is so happy to be here with you!" Derek replied hugging him tightly.

"I love you daddy! Can I get my presents now?" Asked Michael excitedly as Derek put him down on the floor.

As soon as Derek said it, Meredith and Martin appeared again with some packages.

"You can get your presents from us now but in the afternoon you will receive loads more from your friends from pre-school. So should you do the honors Derek?" Meredith asked Derek and as soon as he went to grab his bag, Martin's pager went off.

"Damn, I think I may have to go now, big trauma coming! Derek, do you mind if I hand him my present first?"

"Well, okay, go ahead Martin!" Derek felt a little childish feeling a upset about it.

"Happy birthday Michael, I hope you like it" Martin said handing Michael a package.

Michael excitedly unwrapped it to reveal a child white uniform from some soccer club with C. Ronaldo written in the back and an adidas soccer ball.

"Oh my god! It's Cristiano Ronaldo's Real Madrid equipment, just like yours, thank you, thank you, I love it so muchhhhh!" Martin then hugged Michael and kissed Meredith's cheek.

"I am glad you liked it! Have a nice day Michael! Bye Derek" And then Martin left to go to his shift at the hospital.

"Will you have to go in today too?" Asked Derek to Meredith as Michael put his Real Madrid white jersey on.

"No, I took the next 2 days off! It's your turn now!" Meredith answered and saw Derek give the bag he brought with him to their son.

Michael unwrapped it and looked satisfied with it but was eager for what was to come next as he put the magic kit and the book by his side.

"Thanks daddy! I'll play it with my friends later. I want yours now mom, pretty please" Michael asked giving her those puppy eyes he wasn't supposed to know how to make at 5. Both Meredith and Michael didn't notice how disappointed Derek got from the lack of interest that his son gave to his gifts, he liked Martin's more than his, he was feeling gloomy now and it wouldn't go away so quickly.

He watched impassively as Meredith grabbed a medium carton box with some holes in it and put it in the floor next to his son. He opened it quickly and let out a squeal as soon as he saw that he was being presented with a little white kitten.

"Mommy, mommy I love him so much. What is his name?" Michael said as he carefully grabbed the sweet kitten and started rubbing his fur, getting a few meows as response.

"Be careful Mike, he can hurt you!" Derek warned Michael. He thought cats were really dangerous and very unpredictable, he wasn't too pleased with Meredith's gift.

"I have cut his nails and the lady at the pet store assured me he was a lovely harmless kitten, don't fret about it Derek. You can name him whatever you'd like Michael" Meredith said.

"Well he is white as snow, vanilla ice-cream, milk… like my Real Madrid shirt… He should be Cristiano Ronaldo, I want to name him that, can I?" Michael said hugging gently the kitten and looking at his mother.

"Maybe it's a bit long, you should pick something shorter… Easier to say" Derek said, he just hated the gift Martin got him and how much Michael loved it over Derek's.

"That is the official name, but we can call him… Cris or no… He is Ronny and it's similar to Rooney who Martin loves, he will think it's a great choice" Michael gave his opinion, waiting for the approval of the others.

"Ronny it is then" Said Meredith.

"Well it's your birthday and your present" Derek tried not to grumble but he was overall not really pleased, it was like now he wasn't the second one, he got to be the third after Meredith and Martin.

For the morning, while Meredith prepared the house for 12 kids and their parents to come for the official birthday party, Derek took Michael to watch some cartoon's movie. Derek was bored all the time but Michael was delighted. Then they went to have lunch at McDonald's and then he took him to his mother's house.

There he had time to do some retrospection on his life and on the events of the day. Meredith didn't even realize it, the necklace he gave her, he had the pendant done with the white gold from their wedding bands, he had them both as she gave him hers when she left and he couldn't just leave them forgotten inside a drawer so he asked the jeweler to make it into a M, as those 3 M's in his life was what mattered most to him and made him feel real and alive. He had it with him for some time but he was just waiting for the perfect moment to give it to Meredith. The token of their love should stay with her, maybe when she looked at it he would see his face and their happy times together.

While he was chatting with some parents, he would watch Meredith taking care of the guests and watching the kids play soccer in the yard. Her honey blonde hair reminded him of the beautiful hair of their firstborn, their little happy girl, the spitting image of her mother and the big sister Michael would never truly get to know.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey nice people from all over the world, so yesterday Portugal beat Croatia and they are one of last 8 in Euro 2016, sorry if there are any croatians out there, you also deserved to win! Also tonight is Game of Thrones season 6 finale, and aren't I excited for that, if anyone out there has some nice suggestion for a new TV Show for me to start watching, I would appreciate if you let me know (I started watching the Outcast and I am liking it so far). So about the story, thanks for the kind words and here comes the part of the story when Meredith and Derek were still married. So the present time is when both Mer and Der return to Seattle and Michael enters elementary school (chapter 1). One more thing I am sorry if anyone likes Jo a lot, I don't have anything against her, I just wanted to put known characters in this story instead of inventing a new one no one knows.**

 **BEFORE IN SEATTLE WHEN THEY WERE STILL MARRIED (7 years before present time)**

It was 3 am when Meredith heard someone entering her house. If she didn't know any better, she might think a burglary was about to happen, given the several noises she heard of things falling to the ground and the heavy footsteps nearing her bedroom.

Maybe the first time it happened, she might have been scared, but now it was a habit and there were less days when it didn't happen than those it did. She knew the reason for it was grief. They were handling their loss differently, her husband had become a completely different man than the one he was half a year ago. A tragedy happened, he changed and they fell apart, the gap between them only became bigger as time progressed, it seemed that neither of them wanted to make an effort to try saving their relationship.

He opened the door carelessly and stumbled into their bed completely naked. She hadn't noticed him taking off his clothes, but there he was completely bare, pressing against her.

"Hey Mer!" Derek said embracing the right side of her body. He hadn't touched her in a long time even though they slept in the same bed most of the nights.

Meredith smelled the whiskey in his breath and how uncoordinated he touched her.

"Have you been drinking again? You know you should take it easy…" She wasn't pissed with him, she was just concerned about his well being, but he stopped her completely by pressing his lips against hers and climbing on top of her.

"Just… don't say anything! Words are overrated!" He replied.

She missed him so much, they hadn't had sex in months and she hoped that this was the beginning of Derek's recovery. Maybe from then on, things would get better.

He was clumsy as he took off her clothes, so he just stopped after pulling down her pajama pants so that he could stroke her, trying to make her ready for him. It didn't take long and when he was inside of her, thrusting in and out, he whispered breathlessly into her ear.

"Let's make another one!" This wasn't about her, she thought sadly, it was about him trying to replace what they had. He tried to make her come but he ruined it for her with his words, he was too drunk to be able to hold for much longer. Soon he was growling as he came inside of her and after some minutes of recovering, he rolled to his side.

"G'night!" He mumbled, instead of his usual 'I love you' he used to say after sex.

He was soon snoring, leaving her hanging, fully awake and uncertain of what to say to him in the next morning or how to say it.

The next morning Derek woke up feeling like shit, his head was throbbing and his mouth dry. It wasn't early, Meredith had definitely left already for work, and he should hurry too.

He took a quick shower and ate a quick breakfast before going to the hospital. He was sure he never got to have dinner last night, his stomach hurt from all the alcohol he drank.

When he got to Seattle Grace he saw Maggie Webber, his sister in law and first year resident coming towards him with an intern by her side.

"Good morning Dr. Shepherd!" Maggie said formally as usual. She looked at him wearily, Maggie knew things hadn't been good between him and her sister.

"Good morning Maggie! Are you with me today? I don't think I have anything interesting scheduled for today."

"No, actually I'm with Dr. Bailey, I came to present you to the new intern, Josephine Wilson." As Maggie was speaking to him, he noticed the brunette, her face looked familiar.

"Yeah, ok! I'll take it from here, you can go!" Derek said quickly but as soon as Maggie was turning to leave, he gently grabbed her elbow and stopped her. "Did you see Meredith today?" He asked quietly.

"She is working with our dad today, they are in OR 3 doing a tonsillectomy." She said before leaving.

"Ok, thanks!" Derek then went to his office to get his patient's chart with the intern on tow.

"So Ingrid is a year old baby recovering from surgery. What can you tell me about her?" Derek questioned the intern.

"Well she went through brain surgery in order to treat hydrocephalus, which she was diagnosed 3 months ago..." Wilson said as she read on the chart.

"Ok, so tell me what you know about hydrocephalus?"

"It is basically fluid in the brain that can happen because of trauma… and it compromises the fully intellectual as well as motor development of the infant…" Josephine Wilson said.

"You're right! With Ingrid it happened because of spina bifida! It was a risky surgery but so far she has been stable and I predict a full recovery. The parents decided to let us put in a shunt to drain the fluid and soon we will be doing the spinal surgery. Do you have any questions before we go examine the patient? How are you settling in?" Derek asked.

"No, not right now. Well I was actually wondering if you'll go to the bar tonight too. We had fun yesterday…" Josephine said while smiling to him.

"I'm sorry? What do you mean?" Derek was speechless and he wasn't sure he wanted to hear her answer, it wasn't the first time he had been black out drunk.

"All the heavy flirting, the hot dancing, I was wondering if tonight you would be more willing to go through the finish line maybe a little more sober than you were yesterday." Josephine said, massaging Derek's bicep, and with her other hand toying with the strings on his scrub pants, leaving Derek frozen and speechless.

Without both of them knowing, Meredith was coming to see Derek when she caught them in the middle of their conversation.

Meredith entered Derek's office just as he was about to push Wilson's hands from him, and replying accordingly to her. Derek could see how shaken up Meredith was and the anger on her eyes, he was certain she had seen and heard it all.

"What does this mean Derek? What does she mean?" She said with rage on her eyes.

Josephine Wilson was puzzled with the doctor who just came in.

"Yes, I am his wife, don't you see the ring on his finger? Get the hell out of here… Now!" Meredith yelled and Josephine just sneaked out of the room, fearing for her life.

"What are you doing Derek? What the fuck are you doing?" Said Meredith as quietly as possible, thinking of the nurses outside who might hear them.

"This isn't what you are thinking! She grabbed me, I was just going to pull her away. It wasn't…" Meredith didn't let Derek finish.

"It wasn't like yesterday, you mean? So you came home yesterday to make me finish what you started with that woman?" Meredith felt disgusted, she felt like crying.

"Meredith, I swear I don't remember, I wasn't on the right frame of my mind. I was beyond drunk." He hoped she could understand and forgive him, though he wasn't sure of what he wanted her to forgive him for.

"Do you think I don't know that? But if you can't remember what you did, who guarantees me you didn't cheat on me when you were out drinking on one of these nights?"

"I would never do that, Mer! I could never…" Meredith stopped Derek's explanation.

"Do not lie, if you were telling the truth then I wouldn't have heard what I've just heard and seen what I've just seen." Meredith felt betrayed, like her heart had been ripped from inside her. "And then you come home and want us to have another baby just like that"

"I do want another baby with you… I want to see you happy, I want us happy again! I've been thinking…." Derek was starting to tear up too.

"I do not want another baby, we can't replace Matilda and we can't get to the point we were when she was here with us" Meredith said with tears on her face.

"Meredith don't say…" They were both crying by now.

"I want a break, I want us to separate, this isn't working… clearly. You are either working or drinking, you are never by my side! You keep being reckless, drinking and driving, without giving a fuck about whose life you might ruin! How long until I get a call from the police station telling me you're dead or that you have killed someone?" She was angry now and the tears made her feel worse.

"I am sorry! I am so sorry… I lov…" Derek was about to say.

"No, don't say it! I don't want to hear it now, not now." Meredith left Derek in his office, he decided not to go after her, he didn't want to make a show out of their private life. Instead he succumbed in his sofa feeling hopeless.

 **Have a nice week :) Hope you liked it**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello everybody! So here is another update, I love reading your reviews and everyone is so gracious, thank you so much for the support. So this update comes after another Euro 2016 match in which Portugal beat Poland, I am happy about it so I decided posting another chapter would be a good way to celebrate it, I hope you agree and that you have a good time reading the chapter! So in this chapter we continue the story where we left off in the previous one, back when Mer and Der were still married in Seattle. This one is about friendship and family, mainly about your support system, some backstory about the characters I hope everything is clear enough, I changed Mer's family a bit, I hope you approve of it. So I hope you enjoy it!**

"I don't know what to do Alex! I feel like I don't want to be with him anymore, not the man he is nowadays. He is screwing up, making mistake after mistake and I am done getting hurt by him. But I do understand what made him change, maybe I should have some hope in him"

"It's been a hard time for everyone! I think maybe your time apart will do him good. I keep going to Joe's every night so that I can keep an eye on him, he wouldn't cheat on you sober but when he is drank and out of his mind, he only thinks about numbing his pain." Alex had his arm wrapped around Meredith's shoulders. He felt sorry for his best friend.

"I keep pretending in front of my parents that we are still the same couple, but I am tired of this little show I have to put on so that nobody discovers how apart we are" Meredith was uncertain of what her next step would be. "When we started going out, everyone was against us! My mother told me he was using me, I was 20, he was my parent's resident, almost 30 years old, they didn't understand why I wouldn't date someone my own age, they thought I would eventually get together with you!"

This made both Meredith and Alex laugh. They had been inseparable since Alex was 6 years old and came to live with his grandparents in the house next door. They quickly became best friends, but they never saw each other as more than that, they were like brother and sister. Alex's parents had been killed in a car crash and his grandparents got guardianship of the boy.

Alex was dearly loved by Meredith's family, he was their neighbor, they knew the Karevs well enough, they were kind good people who would babysit both Meredith and her younger siblings Maggie and Jackson whenever an emergency at the hospital called both of their parents in.

"That would be gross, you are my sister!" Alex said laughing, just like he used to say when he was 12 years old.

"I know that and they know it too! Besides you are more interested in the other sister!" Said Meredith, referring to Maggie, Alex responding with a warm smile.

Alex and Meredith were the same age, currently they were 28 years old, both 5th year surgical residents. Meredith's little sister Maggie was 5 years younger, a first year resident, she was always the prodigal daughter, highly intelligent, she graduated 3 years earlier than she was supposed to, well behaved and polite, Meredith had always been the rebel one.

Jackson, their younger brother, was more like Meredith but still he had been in his school's basketball team besides being valedictorian. He was 18, hoping to get in Harvard's Medical School so that in 6 years he would come do his internship at Seattle Grace Hospital, their parents wouldn't have it in another way.

"How do you know about that?" Asked Alex.

"Well, I am her older sister, do you think she would keep a secret from me? It's her first true relationship, she needed advice. You better take good care of her Karev, cause I'm watching you!" Maggie had come to Meredith's house 2 weeks ago, anxious to tell her that she and Alex had kissed, and that she liked him a lot.

Maggie was still a virgin and Meredith just wanted to make sure Alex treated her nicely and didn't pressure her too much, although he had changed his way of behaving, he used to date a lot when he was in high school and in college.

"I like Maggie a lot, I just didn't tell you first because she is your sister and I was afraid you would disapprove!" Alex continued. "Besides you have understandably been with more important things on your mind, it's just been 6 months since Mattie…"

"Please let's just not talk about that" Alex knew that Matilda Ellis Shepherd was a difficult topic for Meredith. Her beautiful daughter had been in a coma for some months now. "I've always been your person, no matter what! She is my little sister and, and as long as you give me your word that you'll treat her nicely, I will believe you and I will be cheering for both of you!"

"Thanks Meredith, that means a lot!" Alex was relieved that Meredith gave his consent to them dating.

"Well, you shouldn't worry about me too much, just be careful with my parents. They are extra protective with her, especially since she is still so innocent and decent." Maggie was different from Meredith. Meredith had had 4 boyfriends before meeting Derek. When Maggie became a teenager, their parents were surprised by how shy and introvert Maggie was. She was never like Meredith, she didn't like to party, going out nor drinking, she was always surrounded by good influences and would spend her free time studying.

"Like you said, they love me. Besides we are taking it slow, no sudden moves, I want to make it work! I don't think I've ever felt this way for someone! She amazes me!" Alex said sincerely.

"I know that! I didn't miss the sparkle in your eyes whenever she is near you and I know she feels the same way! But talk to me, just because she is my sister and Derek and I are having problems doesn't give you a justification to shut me out of your life! Got it?" Meredith didn't want to lose her best friend too.

"Noted! But what are you going to do about Derek?" Alex wanted to go back to the most important topic of the moment.

"I will tell him that we have to talk about the future! We might try marriage counseling but I don't like the idea of exposing my intimate life to a stranger! I think some time living apart would do us good, he can't handle seeing her on me and I think I feel the same way about him, the pain is too deep and… it will never go away! Besides he blames me, he thinks he should have made the decision with me! And then he talks about another kid, as if we currently had a happy environment to raise one."

"Don't blame yourself, you did what was best! You wanted a full life for Mattie, you couldn't predict the future, she was supposed to be fine!"

"Yeah, she was…" Meredith said with tears forming on her eyes, she didn't think she had more to shed but she was wrong. Alex kissed Meredith's head and gave her a full hug.

"Everything's going to be fine Meredith! You are the strongest person I know!"

* * *

Meredith had a light day that day so she went home and got dinner ready by 7 pm. She texted Derek to come home as soon as his shift ended but she knew he wouldn't take notice of her text. She tried calling him, to no avail. She was watching some comedy TV Series when her phone started ringing. She truly thought it was her husband, she didn't even check the screen to confirm it, she just straight answered it.

"Derek." Meredith answered.

"No Meredith! It's your momma!" Said Ellis joking.

"Oh mom! I'm sorry! I thought you were Derek. What's up?" Said Meredith so that she could get to the topic as soon as possible.

"Isn't he home already? He left the hospital when Richard and I did, I saw him getting inside his car hours ago…"

"He probably just returned to the hospital because of some emergency! That's probably it and he often forgets of charging his phone, he is fine I am sure!"

"Well, ok! I was calling to check on you and to ask you and Derek to come have dinner with me, your father and your siblings next Friday." Said Ellis, noticing her daughter's sorrow on her voice.

"I don't think we'll do it mom. We just have…" Meredith started trying to come up with some credible excuse.

"Don't pretend everything's fine Meredith! I am your mother, I see things. We all know you and Derek haven't been the same for some time now! Even if you want to hide it, and your father and I try to give you your privacy, I just can't handle seeing you this unhappy! Derek isn't doing you any good!" Ellis had had enough, she wasn't about to stand by and see her firstborn being emotionally destroyed by her husband. "You have to see what makes you good, he is not your Derek anymore!"

There it was when Meredith broke down, her mother knew, they worked in the same place, and their parents were extremely attentive with their kids. Richard wasn't her biological father though, like he was Maggie's and Jackson's, but he was her true one, they both loved each other a lot, and he treated her as if she was his. They hadn't heard from her biological father since she was 3, when her mother divorced him to marry Richard Webber.

"I just don't know what to do! He is drunk almost every night, we fight a lot, about every damn thing. He blames me for what happened… Mom I need you so much!" Meredith was crying loudly and all her despair seemed to be coming out through her eyes like a river.

"Meredith, we will come to you right now and pick you up! You shouldn't be alone, not right now! You need us and we want to see you smile again!" Said Ellis quickly. "You two have to take a break from each other. You know that is what you have to do so that both of you can breathe again. You don't have to be by yourself!"

"No, mom! I first need to have this conversation with Derek! I need to talk to him! And then maybe tomorrow I'll go home with you, Dad, Maggie and Jackson." Meredith was now certain, her mother made her see that even without Derek, she would never be alone, she would always have them.

Meredith had always been scared of being abandoned, just like she had been by Thatcher Grey. When she was a child, her parents made her see a psychologist to make her overcome her issues. He was never able to get to her, since she was a child it was very difficult to get her to open up about her feelings. Even with her boyfriends, she had many problems with commitment and that was why her relationships before Derek never got anywhere.

When Richard and Ellis found out about their love affair, they weren't too excited, they tried to get them apart, saying it was inappropriate as they were his boss, claiming it was just a summer fling. They made it though, they overcame all the hoops her parents and the distance put on their way so that they could be together.

They stopped meeting in on call rooms and Derek started visiting Meredith at her house when she came home from Medical School, having dinner with her family and slowly becoming part of it.

It was after Meredith's first day as an intern that Derek proposed. He said he thought about doing it before but he wanted to do it during the best day of her life, they were both high from surgery when he got down on one knee in an on call room and took out his mother's engagement ring. He had talked first with Richard and Ellis about it, and as they knew of their strong love, they agreed happily.

Meredith can almost go back to that moment, she remembers it so vividly.

 _"_ _Will you marry me Dr. Grey?" Derek had asked with a grin on his face just as they had made their way to an on call room to get some time for themselves until Meredith's next shift. He got himself on one knee as soon as the door of the on call room closed. "We first met here, you were tired of waiting for your parents to finish surgery and I was exhausted from the shift I had earlier. We started talking and we shared a cheetos bag and a diet coke I had with me for dinner. It was the best date in my life, I knew as soon as it ended! I knew then you'd be the woman I would spend the rest of my life with, forever!"_

 _"_ _You are so corny Dr. Shepherd! Nothing would make me happier, probably scrubbing in another one of your surgeries would do too, but it would be short lived not like the feeling of being your wife, it will give me the most long lived happiness in the world, I don't want to ever be away from you!" Meredith took his hands in hers and made him stand up._

 _"_ _I love you! You make me complete!" ´_

The kisses and the sex they had afterwards still give her shivers through her spine.

At the time, it didn't come as a surprise. She had heard him talking to his mother without him noticing, asking for her engagement ring. Five days later the postman left a letter for them to pick something up at the post office, Derek made up some lame excuse about it, saying his mother was sending a medical book he borrowed one of his sister's. Meredith found the box in his sock's drawer and she knew he would do it soon, she never felt as excited as she did for that moment to happen. They were so happy back then. How she missed it… She fell asleep with those fond memories going through her mind.

 **I didn't have it on me to kill their child, at least this gives some hope for the future, which is better than how final death is, please tell me what you think of my decision, it was a hard one.**

 **What do you think about Jackson being Ellis and Richard's son? I have some plans for him for the future chapters.** **And tomorrow is friday YAY! Have a nice weekend :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi everyone, I am truly sorry for taking so long to update again, I didn't have internet connection in my house for a week so I was unable to do it! Here is the next chapter, I hope you like it, it is a direct continuation of the previous one. Soon we will get to the present time, I am already working on it. Thank you for the reviews, they mean a lot. Have a nice weekend :)**

The loud noises from downstairs made her wake up from her sleep just like in the previous night! She glanced at the clock in the nightstand, it was midnight, at least he came earlier than he usually does. He had to be sober enough to have this conversation. He entered their bedroom and became startled by the lights on.

"Meredith! What are you doing awake?" Derek asked as soon as he saw her sitting on the bed staring at him. He clearly wasn't as drunk as he normally was."I got paged for an emergency… I read your text, I'm sorry I didn't text you back!" Derek said, trying to make peace with his wife.

"Then why do I smell you stinking of smoke, you were at Joe's!" Meredith affirmed with certainty.

"Well, I wouldn't come home on time to catch you awake so I just went to get a couple of drinks. But I promise I am sober!" He added.

"Why do you need to drink every night? Can't you just come home and be with me without drinking just like I asked you?"

"I TOLD YOU I HAD AN EMERGENCY SURGERY! It was a little girl with spina bifida, her shunt was malfunctioning, you are aware of the risks of it! It's close to home Meredith!" Derek said bitterly." The little girl made it through."

Meredith had found out she was pregnant after taking her intern exam. She had been sick all the time before and everyone thought it was the nerves from being evaluated, but the blue line on the stick showed them there was a life inside of her. When Derek found out, he was thrilled, he was 35 years old at the time and was desperately hoping they would start forming their family sooner rather than later.

It was unplanned, Meredith was going through her residency, it wasn't the perfect moment but Derek assured her, everything would be fine. And in the beginning it was. She had a smooth pregnancy after she overcame the initial nausea. After 36 weeks she gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Meredith was astonished by her head full of dark honey blonde hair, her hair was just like Meredith's color, except when Meredith was young she had light blonde hair, that then slowly darkened. Meredith thought by then, that once she grew older, her hair might turn brown, but after 4 years her hair still remains the same shade.

Their lives were pretty normal and happy until one day, when little Matilda Ellis Shepherd, then with 3 years old, began having seizures while Meredith was driving home from an exhausting shift. Derek was outside of the country for 1 month, helping the Doctors without Borders with their project in Azerbaijan.

The next hours for Meredith were a blur. Matilda regained consciousness after seizing and was her usual self, Meredith remembers being told by Dr. Nelson that the cause of the seizure was a tumor in her spinal canal, a Myxopapillary Ependymoma and he needed to operate on it sooner rather than later. They told her daughter could be permanently paralyzed if they waited even another day.

Meredith tried to reach Derek but it was just impossible to get to him, she was uncertain what to do. Her doctor's instincts told her to go ahead with Mattie's surgery and that's what she did. Mattie was operated on and it seemed to go well, except she never woke up again after the anesthesia.

When Derek found out he was upset that Meredith made the decision without him, but tried to focus in positive feelings so that their daughter would recover from her coma.

They waited for a month, hoping that anytime she would wake up, sitting by her side during every hour of that month. Then they were asked about continuous care and they decided that their baby girl should go to a 24 hour intensive care home until she regained consciousness. Six months went by and she never got out from the state she was in.

"What do you want from me Meredith?" Derek was tired of all the questioning.

"I just want the man I married back! That is all!" Derek answered her with only silence in return. "I don't think I can do this anymore! You are the love of my life, I thought I couldn't leave you but I have to! You are drowning us and I can't breathe, I'm suffocating with sorrow, sadness and grief that will never go away! We have to get counseling!" Meredith looked at Derek, seeing that he sat down on the bed and was massaging his forehead blocking her from his line of sight. She knew he was trying to make sense of what she was saying. "I tried to but I am just done with you disappointing me every day, every night you don't come home, every bitter word and every shallow argument we have."

"Seriously! You are the one upset? You can't even discuss what happened to our child! You keep avoiding dealing with her condition so just don't come here censoring me for doing the best I can! You live your life as if Matilda never existed!" Derek was full of rage and was convinced that was a personal attack to him and she was gathering all their friends to her side. He didn't want to get divorced, he was just sick of everyone acting like he was the bad guy.

"That is what you really think? That I just forgot about her? I have to keep living..."

"Living for you means not discussing her, hiding her things away, locking her bedroom door, visiting once a week... Pretending that last week wasn't her fourth birthday... That she shouldn't have been here with us right now!"

"It hurts me too every day, every second..."

"Ohhhh you just can't handle your fault in the matter!"

"Don't you dare say..."

"What? That you killed the essence of our daughter! That you decided to let her have the surgery without consulting her father, a specialist who has treated dozens of similar cases, successfully, who would know what to do."

"You don't mean that! You are a doctor! Everyone told me to go ahead, it was what she needed, you didn't see her having a seizure! You weren't here with me to help deal with it! And what of the repercussions, she would never be able to have a normal life, she could be bound to a wheel chair for the rest of her life! The odds were on our favor, the surgery wasn't that risky!" Meredith was crying heavy tears.

"She could live with the tumor! We could take care of it once she got old enough to get operated on! And who cares about those complications! She would have been here with us!" Derek continued.

"Don't you think that had I known, I would have chosen differently? You agreed once you got here that it had been the right course of action and she would be fine, you assured me everything would be OK!"

"Well she isn't OK and now she is attached to a bed forever!" Derek pointed out.

"Mattie might wake up! We shouldn't lose hope!" Meredith said, trying to make her believe in it too.

"I just don't know how your mind works anymore Meredith! Do you know the percentage of people that wake from a 6 month coma? Besides don't tell me that when you have already quitted!"

"She is resilient and we are supposed to not lose hope!"

"Her tumor is gone, everything is working like it would, except that she is just a vegetable!"

"This isn't my fault! All I wanted was the best for my child! You'll never let go of this!" Meredith tried to reason with him.

"This is not a grudge I hold against you, it's about the fact that I'll never have my daughter again and yes, I blame you for that!"

"I know you are thinking of leaving the country again! Don't lie!" Meredith said, revealing him of what she thought would be his next step.

"How do you know that? Have you been going through my stuff?" Derek asked angrily.

"You left your e-mail account logged in 2 weeks ago, I saw the emails you exchanged with Owen Hunt. The Doctors Without Borders, is that what you really want to do again?"

"I have to get away from this place, I can't keep going with this façade anymore! You are right, we should get divorced!" Derek said decidedly.

"I wanted to get separated but still work on our marriage, get marriage counseling! Not give up completely! But I guess that is the only choice we have since you'll be away for 6 months to go to Afghanistan!" Meredith continued. "So that is what you want? To go away? What about your so wanted new baby?"

"I think this conversation has been really helpful in defining my ideas for the future."

"Ok! Then let's just quit, just remember this decision is on you, if you ever come to regret it!" Meredith wanted him to know that there would be no going back from this.

"Well, I won't!"

"Since you're so sure of the future, why don't you go and sleep in the guest's room? I'll leave tomorrow so you will have all the house to yourself! Bring whomever you want here!" Meredith added bitterly.

"Oh I am going!" Derek picked his pajamas from under his pillow and left without uttering another word to Meredith.

Meredith started hyperventilating and crawled into bed, laying there in a fetus position crying her last tears with the bed sheet covering her whole body and face. She didn't want him to hear her, she would be strong, she was extraordinary and she didn't need a man to define her.

In the next morning Derek found himself alone in his house, Meredith had obviously left and took all her clothes with her, leaving a note on the kitchen's table saying her lawyer would contact him about the divorce papers and on top of the post-it rested her white gold wedding band as well as his mother's engagement ring. Derek knew, at that point, that things would never be the same.

Meredith didn't sleep anything in the night before, she just couldn't fall asleep so instead she went to do some packing. She did it as quietly as possible and somehow she managed to put all the things she wanted to take with her in her SUV before 7 am.

In the morning she would contact her mother's lawyer so that she would take care of her divorce from Derek. One thing she was sure of, she didn't want to live in their house without Derek, so either he would buy her half of it or they would sell it. She wasn't sure what he would decide, she stopped knowing Derek some time ago.

She felt bad about his words, he was right. She hadn't visited her daughter recently, in the first 4 months she would go to the recovery clinic everyday to just talk to her and read her some stories for 7 hours a day. But the depression hit her hard, seeing her usually lively daughter in a state of unconsciousness due to a decision she made, made her crumble and she started going to the clinic less than she was supposed. She hadn't even gone on Mattie's birthday, she did buy a present for her to go give her but she never managed to leave the clinic's parking lot.

Derek's accusations were a wakeup call to Meredith, she hadn't been the best mother to her daughter. She felt like she was losing it so that made her involuntarily stop visiting and trying as hard as possible not to think about the happy spirit her kid once was.

She called her mom letting her know she needed the day off and asking permission to move her stuff to their family home. She still had the keys and knew that her parents would receive her with open arms, she just felt obligated to let them know what was going on.

Before going to the house to unpack, she decided to finally visit again. She entered and noticed that a new receptionist had been hired, she had never seen her before. She was polite but she noticed the sorry look she gave Meredith when she informed she was Matilda Shepherd's mother. Meredith hated that, that was the worst for her, the pity looks from everyone, her daughter wasn't dead, she was still breathing, she may not be herself at that moment but that could change anytime.

Matilda's room was on the first floor, the walk wasn't a long one but it always felt like 30 minutes of walking, the anticipation she felt every time she went in made her arrive breathless at the door of the room. Soon enough she was there, staring at the rigid body on top of the bed. Her little girl was so pale and skinny, like she always had been. She noticed that she had her hair cut, probably the clinic asked for permission to cut Matilda's long locks to just shoulder level as it would be easier to care for.

She found the brush inside of her bag and started brushing her daughter's hair and started making small pigtails just like Mattie would ask to get every now and then, the feeding tubes that were attached to her didn't make it an easy task for Meredith but she tried to think that her baby was still her baby and was just asleep at the moment.

"Mattie, you look so beautiful!" Meredith talked to her daughter as if she was aware of her mother's presence. "You are the prettiest girl! I brought you a story to read, it's a new one, I bought it for your birthday! Yes you're 4 years old already! Such a big girl! Mommy and daddy are so proud, you are our most valuable belonging in the world! Ok, I know you're anxious to hear the story, even though you always liked to read them by yourself too! So here we go... Not long ago and not far away there was a beautiful, big teddy bear who sat on a shelf in a drug store waiting for someone to buy him and give him a home.

His name was Michael. And he was no ordinary bear.

His fur was a lovely shade of light grey, and he had honey colored ears, nose and feet. His eyes were warm and kind and he had a wonderfully wise look on his face.

Attached to the tie was a tag with his name written in bold, black letters: **Michael**.

He had arrived in the store just before Christmas when there had been lots of other bears to keep him company. In fact, there had been so many teddy bears crowded onto that one narrow shelf that he had scarcely had room to move.

But, one by one they had all gone. Gleefully waving goodbye as they were carried off to their new homes. Until finally, he was the only teddy bear left in the entire store.

Michael felt sad and lonely sitting there all by himself on the shelf that was high above the Christmas cards. He longed to have a child take him home and love him and play with him. But, most of all, to hug him. For no hug is ever too big for a teddy bear.

He was trying hard not to cry because he knew that tears would make his eyes all puffy and red and then he would have even less chance of finding a home.

But why oh why didn't someone choose him?

Why, he wondered, was he passed over so many times for other less beautiful bears?…" Meredith continued reading the story to her daughter, feeling happy just to finally be able to spend some time with her daughter, she decided she would never leave Matilda again, she wouldn't do what her father did to her when she was a child, no matter what would happen next, Meredith would always have her daughter close by.


	8. Chapter 8

**We are the champions, my friends, Portugal was the winner of Euro 2016, YAY :) I am truly sorry for the french people, I know it sucks to lose the final in your own country, you played very well, luck just wasn't on your side!**

 **So here is another chapter, I hope you like it and I can confirm that the next chapter will finally be the continuation of the first chapter (which I consider tha current time in which Meredith and Derek are back in Seattle). So thanks for all the reviews, you are all so sweet, you are truly amazing people and your reviews inspire me! Tomorrow it's friday, and finally weekend comes, I am going to spend it in my hometown, I am visiting my parents, I hope you rest a lot and have loads of fun!**

Derek set the deal with Owen Hunt in the very same morning in which he received the divorce papers. He was going to Armenia to work predominately in conflict settings providing care to communities without access to functioning health care systems, he would be responsible not only for performing surgeries but also for doing the triage of the patients as well as educating the population, whatever work would be needed, he was prepared for it.

He had made good friends the first and the only time he went on a mission, Major Owen Hunt was the one who would be responsible for the team of American doctors this time while in Armenia. Owen had gone to medical school with Derek, and as soon as he joined the army and started going to these peace missions as part of the Doctors without Borders, he had always taunted Derek for not giving a hand to the project, when Derek finally relented and went, the biggest tragedy in his life took place. Now Derek was going searching for some comfort to his troubled life, escaping the painful reality of living in Seattle, wanting only to occupy his mind with important issues as the ones he would encounter there.

At the hospital Meredith had been avoiding him like the plague for awhile, it had been 4 weeks since she had left home and 2 weeks since he had received the divorce papers. They had barely even worked together at the hospital, he would always be patched up with another resident other than his wife and only when he had to go talk with her attending, he would see her. She treated him cordially as if he was only his boss, but also a little colder than she should if she wanted to give the impression that she was fine with everything that was going on.

They still hadn't sorted through their common assets and they should do it sooner rather than later as he was about to leave the country in 2 days. He liked helping people, especially go help those who couldn't afford getting the help they needed and he could only hope that they would be able to help him deal with his pain.

This afternoon he had a mediation meeting with Meredith so that they could decide who would get every single item of their junk, as if all their material stuff meant anything for him. He agreed to it just to get it over with as soon as possible, both their lawyers would be there. He was hoping he would get a chance to speak with Meredith afterwards, he needed to say goodbye to her, he couldn't leave without saying how sorry he was for everything and that he actually didn't blame her for anything.

Derek spent the morning packing and when he finally arrived at the mediation meeting he only found both their lawyers waiting for him.

"Where is Meredith?" Derek asked, hoping she was just running late.

"Mrs. Shepherd won't come today, she delegated me to decide on her behalf, please sit Dr. Shepherd we have a lot of assets to go through!" The Mrs. Shepherd would soon become Ms. Grey again, that made his heart hurt, how much he loved calling her Mrs. Shepherd when they wed, at the workplace she didn't admit anything other than Grey but he knew it was only because she didn't want his name to shadow her, she wanted to be her own person.

"Ok! Let's do this! I just don't think it's acceptable for her not to come, she should be here!" Derek continued, not being able to fully digest his disappointment, he then sat down.

Meredith's lawyer explicitly expressed that Meredith didn't want their family house to herself so Derek stayed with it in his name, with all the furniture inside, and the rest of all the stuff was fairly distributed, he respected every wish Meredith has communicated to her lawyer.

He had never planned on leaving without saying goodbye but there he was ready to get inside a plane without having talked with his former wife. He called her some times, every time she didn't answer the phone and didn't call him back either. He knew she was avoiding him, he could have dropped by the hospital and waited outside of the OR while she was doing some surgery or he could go to her parents house and try catching her before she left for work, he just didn't feel like he should ambush her when the decision to be permanently apart from her came from him.

He looked at his left hand, his finger still had his wedding band on, he never took it out, and now he carried hers in a necklace. What a loser he was, he couldn't let her go even though he was the one that pushed her away.

Well, what was done was done. Meredith would still be here in 6 months when he returned, hopefully in a better state of mind, he would try to patch things up with her, at least so that it would be possible for them to be able to work together.

Saying goodbye to Matilda had been heartbreaking, he was sure what remained of his heart was just wrecked in that moment. But he realized that she was gone and being there wouldn't help her anyway. She knew that Meredith had been visiting more frequently, at least Mattie would have the company of her mother. How alike they looked, the same eyes, the same hair, the same tiny frame, it was as if he didn't have any participation in the making of her genome.

"Sir, can I help you?" The lady at the airport terminal asked him, watching as he just stood there lost on his thoughts.

"No, no one can help me..." He replied quietly, with sadness filling his face. He decided he would try one last time to try and say goodbye. "Just wait 5 minutes, I have to make a final call."

"Meredith?" Derek asked as soon as someone picked the call, he walked away from the line of people so that they wouldn't be able to hear his phone call.

"No Derek! It's Richard, Meredith left her phone at home! I'm just picking it up! Is everything OK?" Richard had grown close with Derek since he had been his intern, he really thought Derek was a good guy but he hated seeing how sad his daughter had been feeling lately.

"I just … wanted to say goodbye! You know I'm about to enter in the plane, it would feel great to hear her voice again! Tell her if she can, to email me or something, I really want to talk with her!"

"Derek, what are you doing? You chose this."

"I just miss her Richard! Take care of both of my girls please!" Derek pleaded.

"That should be your job Derek!" As he stayed silent to this, Richard continued. "Don't worry, they are my girls too! Go, just come back a healed man! Have a safe flight son!"

"Thanks Richard, it means a lot, all you do, all you have done! Thanks a lot! I should go…"

* * *

Meredith had been feeling unwell for some time now, she had been tired and sick every damn time she drank or even smelled something with coffee in it, so she didn't have any way to get some energy. She was eating a chocolate bar, hoping that the sugar would help her with it.

She was laying on a gurney in the basement just enjoying her lunch hour when Alex appeared with 2 sandwiches and 2 bottles of water.

"Why are you always disturbing the peace?" Asked Meredith as soon as he sat down beside her on the gurney and took a hidden bag of crisps and started eating them loudly.

"You can't stay in here hidden from the world eating all this crappy sugary stuff, you will end up dying by 30 if you keep this diet going on! And you call yourself a doctor!" Alex was angry with the way she was taking of herself lately.

"Why are you being this mean? Who told you I was down here?" Meredith questioned.

"Maggie did! Eat this sandwich, it has chicken, lettuce, carrot, you know protein and vitamin to get you strong and healthy! And some water to get you hydrated!"

"You are annoying, what does my sister see in you?" Meredith said as she took a bite of the sandwich and wrinkled her nose, making a disgusted expression. "Where did you buy this stuff, it is making me sick, I won't eat it! I will gladly continue eating my Mars bar and the extra M&Ms I took from the vending machine this morning!"

"Seriously you are getting sick because Derek left, screw him! You deserve a guy who will never leave your side."

"This isn't about Derek..."

"This is so about Derek, you are all mopey and down, and pukey, I am pretty sure he is the one to blame... Wait?"

"What jackass?"

"When was the last time you had your period?"  
"Why is this any of ... your business?... Oh my god!" Meredith said as realization hit her, she was feeling just like she had, during the beginning of her first pregnancy.

"I'll go grab a test and you'll do it immediately! You've to find out right now."

"No, Alex! I am not..." Meredith tried to stop him from meddling in her life, she needed to think about this without someone breathing down her neck.

"You can't erase the face you just made! I know you Meredith, let me guess before you and Derek broke up you had some break up sex?"

"Shut up! It had been a long time since the last time we did it, it was only once and for your information it was before the break up! I didn't feel like seeing him since I left the house."

"One time is enough Grey. Didn't you learn that in biology? I'll be right back" Alex said with the pack of crisps on his hand and walking as fast as he could so that he could find a supply closet to check for a pregnancy test. Alex would make sure that Meredith wouldn't avoid finding out the truth."

* * *

Soon afterwars Alex found Meredith sitting rigidly in the same position that he had left her, he made her come with him to the closest toilet.

"Here it is! 3 pregnancy tests ready to be used! You know the drill, I'm also taking your blood for analysis to make sure you don't have anemia, you have been awfully pale lately! C'mon don't make me go in that bathroom with you!"

"Fine, I'll go dad! It is very unlikely that..."

"I guess we'll find soon enough!" Alex interrupted Meredith and pushed her inside the bathroom.

 **20 minutes later**

Alex had been tired of waiting for her to come out.

"Meredith are you OK?" Alex asked as he entered the unlocked bathroom.

"Oh Alex, I am so not OK!" She said showing him the three tests, all of them with a distinctive PREGNANT sign.

"Oh damn... I guess congratulations are in order!" Alex said to Meredith with an unsure expression.

"I don't know what to do."

"Mer..."

"Derek just left, he doesn't know!"

"I am sure if you call him he will come as quickly as possible to support you! He might have changed but he is still the same honorable man he has always been!"

"No, I mean yes, I know he is, he would come to Seattle and just be with me but I can't call him and I don't want him to come just because of that! He chose to leave, I'll be here when he comes back, I won't run, but I won't either let him know of the baby. If he hasn't come back in 9 months, I'll call him and tell him myself. But for now, it's for the best to keep us apart, I think!"

"Meredith..." Alex was going to try to persuade her.

"Don't Alex! My mind is set, that is what I am going to do! And I appreciate if you keep quiet about this to Maggie, I'll tell her and my parents soon enough!" Meredith said, leaving.

"Where are you going?" Alex asked as Meredith walked away.

"Now I am going to tell my daughter she is going to be a big sister just like she always wanted."


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello everyone, it's weekend finally! I have been so busy with work, I am so sorry for not updating the story sooner, this chapter has been written for awhile now actually. So I hope you are still interested in the story, a big thank you to Patsy, who was the only one who reviewed last chapter, it's fine I know we all have stressful lives, sometimes time is too short. So finally comes the present time, the continuation of the first chapter, the next chapters will continue with this timeline. I hope you enjoy it and if you have the time, please give me your feedback on it.**

 **I want to send my thoughts and prayers to everyone in Munich and Nice, also in all the other places in which people are grieving their beloved ones, life is complicated enough, and with all those extremists making life more miserable to everyone else, why can't we all live happily together... Sometimes I am ashamed to call myself a human.**

 **Have a nive weekend, soon enough it will be Monday again...**

 **PRESENT TIME**

A small family of three stood at the entrance of the classroom, they must have brought their son for the first class of elementary school. They were early, there was only 6 kids inside from the 15 students that constituted her class.

The guy was tall, with dark hair and blue eyes. He was very handsome and so comfortable with himself as if he was the most confident person in the world. Molly Thompson wouldn't mind getting a guy like that for herself even though she was only 23, she had a thing for older guys and she had been a widow for 3 years now, she needed to move on and find some sort of father figure for her little 4 year old daughter Laura.

The woman was very sophisticated, she was younger than him and very beautiful , she had dark blonde hair and light green eyes, she was holding her son's hand and ruffling his also blonde hair in an attempt to push away his fears.

They looked somewhat apprehensive, Molly felt that way too, she was nervous, it was her first class since she was fresh out of college but she was sure that once the class started, she would relax, after all she was quite comfortable around kids, as she had one of her own at home.

Molly was getting the first class ready, while the parents talked between themselves outside near the door, waiting a little longer until they had to depart from their son.

"I wish I would come to see Mattie with you! I haven't seen her since we came here! I miss her mommy!" The blonde boy was telling his mother.

"You know we had to bring her from Boston on an ambulance and they needed some time to get her settled in Seattle, it takes some time, you know she needs a lot of assistance. When mommy and I come get you, we'll stop by her clinic and you'll read her a story and tell her all about your day. Ok bud?" The father told his son.

"There are already some classmates inside, you should get to know them! Will you be Ok Mikey?" The mother asked the son.

"I guess so mommy!" The boy was nervous.

"Ok, let's talk with your teacher already!" They finally came inside the classroom and walked to Molly as she was taking out the colorful chalk and crayons from the cabinets. "Hey miss!" The father said to her, and she quickly offered her hand for them to shake.

"Hello, I am Molly Thompson! I guess your little fellow is in my class, am I right?"

"Yes, he is Ms. Thompson! Hello, I am Derek Shepherd and this is Meredith!"

"Nice to meet you! This is our son Michael!" Meredith said to Molly.

"Hello Michael! How are you feeling?" Michal didn't answer her, he just gave her a weak smile.

"I'm sorry, he is a bit nervous, we moved from Boston 3 days ago and it's a lot of changes for him!" Meredith, Michael's mother, gave her an explanation for the behavior of the boy.

"It's totally normal Michael, I'll tell you a secret I am nervous too!" Molly said, lowering herself to be at the boy's level and noticing the copy cat blue eyes of his father.

"You are?" Michael said a little more at ease.

"Of course, why don't you go meet your little classmates while I talk to your parents. Ok? I'll be with you in a moment." Molly pointed Michael to the small group of children playing some kind of game.

"Yeah, I'll go!" Before he departed to go near the group of children, he kissed his parents and hugged them both. "I love you!" Michael told them both..

"We love you too son!" Molly could see the emotion in both parents faces as their kid left to meet his classmates.

"Be good to Ms. Thompson!" Derek Shepherd said as the boy approached the other children cautiously.

"Don't worry, everything will be fine!" Molly reassured the parents as she looked at their faces. "So is this your first child to go to school?" She asked the parents.

"Michael has an older sister but she can't go to school!" Michael's father didn't offer any other explanation. "We work at Seattle Grace Hospital, if there is any problem, please contact us!"

"You both work at Seattle Grace? My sister will start her surgical internship there today!" Molly was amazed at the coincidence. "What do you do there?"

"We are surgeons, attendings, it's funny you'll be teaching our kid and we'll likely be teaching your sister!" Meredith said, chuckling.

"It sure is. Her name is Alexandra Grey." Molly added. "Well, she is really smart, she has a photographic memory!"

"It's funny, Meredith is also a Grey. You are not a Grey?" Derek Shepherd was curious to know the reason, maybe they had different fathers. "I am sorry this is nothing of my business!"

"I was married before and I kept his last name!" Molly said with a sad face. "Well, don't worry, I know it's difficult but after the first day, everything will be easier."

"We hope so! Well Michael already knows a lot, he loves to read, he also knows some mathematics and I am sure it will be a piece of cake for him!" Bragged the father, proudly. "We must go now, here are our phone contacts." Derek said handing Molly two business cards, one of Dr. Meredith Grey and the other of Dr. Derek Shepherd.

"I'll see you later! You both have a nice day!" Molly was intrigued by the last name of Michael's mother, could she be… No, Grey was a common last name, she was over thinking it, besides she came from Boston, they weren't from Seattle clearly. Molly went to attend the kids and soon forgot about the situation on her mind.

Meredith walked out of the Garden Grove Institute with Derek Shepherd slightly behind her, he was dialing a phone number.

"Roseridge Intensive Care Clinic, hello! I am Erica Kent, how may I help you?"

"Hello Erica, my daughter was to be transferred from the Boston Acadia Therapy Clinic, her name is Matilda Ellis Shepherd. Has she already arrived and been set up at the clinic.

"Give me a minute to check on the system, sir… She will be here by 3 in the afternoon, we expect to have her prepared for visitors by 6 pm."

"Ok, then Matilda's mother and I will stop by around that time to visit her! Thank you Erica!"

"Mr. Shepherd, have a nice day!" Erica hanged up.

"So is she here already?" Asked Meredith as Derek put his phone inside the pocket of his jeans.

"No, she will only arrive this afternoon, if you want we can pick up Michael at 4, have some ice-cream with him and then we can all go visit Mattie, what do you think about it?" Derek asked as Meredith searched for something inside her handbag.

"Yeah, I am sure Michael would love it!" Meredith said not looking at Derek and instead staring at her phone. "It used to be our rite, you know, almost every day, I would pick him up of daycare and we would spend a couple hours with Mattie, telling her about our day and reading to her."

"I am part of the family too, I know you miss her and even though I've been absent these past years, I'll try to make it up for you and the kids." Derek understood the hidden meaning in Meredith's words as if she was implying that he was a stranger to his own family. "I was always curious did Martin come to visit with you?"

"Are you seriously asking me about that after last night?"

"Well, we're just talking, divorced parents making small talk. I would really wish you'd tell me!"

"He was Michael's friend, he would come with us sometimes, not always but once or twice every week!"

"Damn, I was replaced in my kids life, I tried to prepare myself for the fact that eventually I would lose you, but to lose the kids too, it sucks." Derek was calm, as he was revealing his insecurities to Meredith.

"You're still their father, Michael loves you. You can't undo the past, you chose to go to Washington..." Meredith didn't get to finish her sentence.

"And what about you? You left to go to Boston too, it's not like you stayed."

"I didn't stay because you weren't here, I would never alienate myself from my kids life and I wouldn't take them away from their father either. I only accepted the position at Brigham's because you were already set to leave for Washington." Meredith said, looking straight at Derek's blue eyes and knowing that Martin had been the trigger to this little argument. "Don't put this on me!"

"Alright, I have to remain calm and it's in the past, it doesn't matter anymore!"

"Tell that to yourself Mr. Cranky 24/7." Meredith was trying to lighten the mood, she was tired of all the bickering between her and her ex-husband.

"I am not cranky! And I can't be cranky 24/7… because I am only near you once in awhile, definitely not all the days of the week !"

"Yeah, smartass, keep telling yourself that!" Said Meredith while checking the contacts on her phone.

"Who are you calling?" Derek asked.

"Taxi, I have to get to the hospital!"

"Don't be a fool, you can ride with me, just because our son isn't riding with us, we can go to the hospital together. Or will teenage boy be upset that you are spending time alone with your husband on his car? Well we had quite good times in this car." Said Derek pointing to his car.

"Ex husband, we're divorced…"

"If you say so… Mer just don't let this kid control your life from Boston. He has been barely out of diapers and thinks a grown up woman belongs to him."

"I don't want to talk about my boyfriend with you! If we'll ride in together, it will be a silent ride."

"We used to be best friends, we would talk about everything without a problem! I want to get our friendship back!" Said Derek with a serious expression on his face.

"Alex has always been my best friend, but you were a close second… And things have changed since then, we are not together anymore!"

"C'mon Meredith! Just because I don't get to kiss you or have sex with you anymore doesn't mean I have stopped feeling the way I felt about you! I was certain we were meant to be!" Derek said sincerely.

"This conversation is pointless. Change the topic please, or I will take a taxi!"

"An avoider once, always an avoider!" Derek noticed the look Meredith was sending him. "Ok, I will shut up… So how is Jackson feeling?"

"Jackson is the guy he has always been, all laid back without any anxiety for his first day. God, he annoys me so much, he is so cocky! Just like you as a matter of fact."

"He is a good kid, trust me he will be full of anxiety once the shift starts. Who did he get as a resident?"

"April Kepner. She did her internship at Mercy West, she is new around here too. She better be the greatest 1st year resident, my mother wouldn't let her be the one to teach her precious son if she wasn't perfect."

"It will be fun to watch! Jesus, I remember just like yesterday when he was 15 and asking me tips on how to sex up his girlfriend." Derek said chuckling.

"I can't believe he went for you to advice… At 15? For god's sake he was a child… I hope you didn't share anything about our sex life."

"He is your brother, I wouldn't do it and he would be grossed out! I gave him tips that worked well on you, I just didn't mention the earth shattering reaction I would get from you!" Derek winked at her.

"Gosh, you are so dirty! He should have come talk to me! Now I am a little offended."

"And get cock blocked by you, you always gave scary lectures and you would give him one too! Besides men lean on other men for support, it's how it is."

"I am not a prude, I started my sex life early too, I would give him good advice. Besides even though I don't have a penis, I know a lot about them."

"You're hands on experience, I have to give that to you! In the beginning I couldn't even think about you without getting a hard on, and I was 29, a fully grown man!"

"I was that good, huh? How did this conversation took the sex route? I blame this on you, you are a pervert… Divorced people shouldn't have this conversations, it's awkward!"

"It's hot, I'm really starting to get all sweaty and needy here." Said Derek as he sat in the driver's seat.

"Go whack it off to some porn, old man!"

"Mean, you were always so mean!" Derek said laughing, they were always good with the sex topic, it made them relax, even now with everything that happened only sex would let them be comfortable around each other.

The ride to the hospital was filled with some laughs and mutual battering. it was an unexpected turn of events after how the morning had started, they had been so snappy to each other in her house, they were finally happy to be around each other after a while.


	10. Chapter 10

**So here we are again with another weekend in front of us, it's almost unbelievable how fast life goes by, I had a super busy week at work but it's over now and I can finally rest a bit. In this chapter it's some family dynamic between Meredith's family, sorry for the no Derek, I hope you like the addition of more characters to the story, it's only with the purpose of enriching it. Writing this story is such a joyful experience, I am loving doing it, thank you for the support.**

 **Have a nice weekend!**

"Do you have your lab coat? What about your stethoscope?" Ellis asked her son after calling him to her office.

"I have my lab coat in the locker room and the stethoscope in my cubby! Relax mom it's like the third time you go through this." Answered Jackson to his mother, stressed with her treating him as if he was 5 and his sisters hadn't been through the exact same thing some years before.

"But you are a boy and your sisters were far more responsible than you! You need to be taken care of!"

"I love being taken care of, like when you cook lunch for me, when you fixed my tie for the intern's gala yesterday, when you go iron my blue shirt because I forgot to do it myself but seriously mom! I am 24, I lived by myself at college and medical school and I survived, besides you are my boss here! I don't want you to treat me any differently from the other interns."

"Jackson Avery Webber you will always be different from the other interns, because you are mine. You know I don't approve of nepotism but I just can't help myself not to worry about you, it seems like yesterday that you came out of me. It took me 13 painful hours in labor to get you out of me, after I invested so much of myself in getting you here, I can't just let you go."

Jackson was about to make another remark of how he wanted his mom to be professional to him at work when his sister Meredith sneaked inside their mother's office.

"Thank god, I needed some backup. Mom is driving me crazy!" Jackson exasperated loudly. "Mer please help me!"

"Ohhh Jackie boy! You are always so careless, we need to make sure you will be the best intern of this year!" Mer said after kissing her mother and going to hug her little brother.

"I am a doctor for god's sake! I am responsible!" Jackson said, giving up and sitting on his mother's sofa. "Whatever, I won't win this anyway, I better just give up! How did it go with Mike this morning?"

"Yes dear, how did my grandson take it to the new school?" Ellis repeated.

"He was fine, he was a little shaky when we were getting there but he seemed to have connected with his teacher."

"We? Was Derek with you when you took him?" Ellis asked.

"Yes, he came in the house early, had breakfast with us and even helped getting Michael ready for school. And then we rode all together to drop Michael off and he gave me a lift to the hospital."

"Really… You and Derek? The last time I saw you 2 together you were going for each other's throats, last night as a matter of fact. I guess having the kid nearby is an excuse, but going in the hospital together, only the 2 of you! I got to say I am impressed sis!" Jackson said with a smile on his face.

"Stop bugging your sister, Jackson! I'm glad you and Derek are done with all the fighting, sweetie! You'll have dinner with us tonight so that we get to hear all about Mikey's day, alright?"

"Yes mom, I already said yes to dad!"

"What about my granddaughter? Is Mattie already here, I bought some stars and flowers to decorate her new room at the clinic."

"She will arrive this afternoon, Derek and I will visit her after getting Michael from school."

"I want to go there too. Mom, we could schedule a family visit this weekend, I'll have Saturday off." Said Jackson eagerly. "We could go decorate the room and make it feel more homey."

Jackson had always been great with Matilda, he would often babysit her before Mattie's surgery and she just loved her uncle Jackson. He sometimes even bailed his girlfriend and friends so that he could play with her, Meredith knew how depressed he got after what happened to Matilda.

Jackson had been the one to teach her how to read and write when she was barely 3 years old and would talk to her about the stuff he learnt at school way before that, she knew mathematics and everything a 4th grader was supposed to know. Before Matilda had fallen into the coma, her teacher at kindergarten had tried to convince Meredith and Derek to give permission for Matilda to enter elementary school once she was 4 years old in a special program, she said Matilda was a child prodigy and was meant to do something very important in the future, that never came to be unfortunately.

"Yes Jackson! What a good idea, dear!" Beamed Ellis.

"Who had a great idea?" Asked Richard Webber appearing in the doorway with Maggie by his side. "Oh honey, it's good to see you!" Richard went to give a kiss to Meredith after noticing her in the room.

"Hello dad and Maggie! I was just here to wish the baby boy of the family good luck for his first day."

"Ohhh big sis! How did it go with Michael today?" Asked Maggie after hugging Meredith.

"Good, I think. I really liked his teacher, and so did he."

"Those are great news. What about Derek, have things cooled off after yesterday's fight?" Maggie asked.

"What was the fight about this time?" Richard meddled into the conversation before Meredith could answer her.

"It was so silly… Derek went all jealous when Meredith mentioned to Maggie that Meredith's toy boy was thinking of moving to Seattle." Jackson intervened, giving everyone his knowledge of what had happened.

"Could I please have some privacy, oh my god, you two are incapable of keeping a secret!" Meredith retorted trying to make the theme to stop from progressing, but with no avail.

"Really? Is Martin Goodwin thinking of continuing his residency here in Seattle?" Ellis asked surprised.

"I don't know, he just mentioned he had been searching the programs and he was impressed by them, it was just that. Derek just gets angry whenever I talk about him."

"Well you were together for awhile, you have kids together…" Jackson started.

"And we are divorced, let's stop with this nonsense, this is my life! I love you all but some things are supposed to be private." Meredith pointed it out trying to make them to stop talking about her life.

"Let's all stop and do as your sister says!" Ellis told off both Maggie and Jackson.

"Son, it's time to go to the lobby, you have to go get your identification at Human Resources first and you can't miss my terrific speech, so go!" Richard addressed Jackson.

"I know dad! I was just going to leave, I wasn't even supposed to be here but you know mom!" Jackson was about to complain when Maggie interrupted him.

"Stop whining and go mingle with the other interns! It's an order by the way." Said Maggie wanting his brother to go out and not to be as attached as she was to the people she already knew at the hospital when she started her internship there, everyone of her class had hated her for that. "Go!"

"Maggie is right, go make some alliances, some new friends, son!" Ellis added.

"Jackson, go wait in the lobby after getting your stuff sorted out with HR, I will get you and the rest of the interns there!" Richard said.

"Okey dockey, I am going! And remember I am an intern just like the 20 others of the class."

"We got it baby boy! Go make us proud!" Ellis and Richard were beaming with pride, they had raised 3 decent human beings, 3 surgeons like their parents.

"The next time we will see each other you will be already in action, kiddo! Just try not to piss off your resident and get rectals!" Meredith said as Jackson was making his way towards the door.

"If you are with me, I will let you go watch a surgery from inside the OR!" Maggie told Jackson, and he winked at her. "Be yourself and you'll be fine!"

"I am always fine! Gotta go, I'll see you guys later! Dad I am anxious to hear the speech for the first time as an intern. I'll see you at the hospital main entrance!"

"Go son, I'll see you soon!" Richard said patting his son on the back as he went to exit the room. "I guess I should go too! Dinner at 8 pm, right Meri? I am excited to know all about Michael's day and I really miss Matilda, we have to arrange a time to go see her soon, Ellis!"

"Count me in please!" Maggie said.

"I have everything figured out, we will talk later at dinner about it, now as your chief of surgery, go save some lives Dr. Margaret Webber, and you Dr. Richard Webber go show the new kids the hospital and intimidate them a little." Ellis ordered with her boss mode voice and they soon left to get to their duties. "Meredith please wait!"

"Yes mom?"

" I can't hardly believe my children are all grown up, please sit down! Where is Derek?" Ellis asked.

"He is fixing his stuff at his office, he said he would come see you afterwards!"

"Ok! Are you both really fine?" Questioned Ellis.

"Mom, yes, we are fine, as fine as divorced people can be! We are just Ok, for god's sake we rode to work together without any casualty, I guess that is progress!"

"I am happy you two are getting along, it makes me hopeful for the future!" Said Ellis with a big smile on her face. "Michael deserves a family! I am just so happy you are back from Boston, we all missed you, Derek and the kids so much!"

"Mom, we aren't getting together, I am with another guy, I have boyfriend! We are trying to co-parent our little boy, that is just what we are doing!" Meredith was upset that everyone was thinking that they would get together. "We are divorced!"

"Don't I know that! I don't want to upset you dear! I am worried about Jackson, you two girls always gave me more confidence than him. I am scared that he won't like it here!"

"He has always been a popular kid, I wouldn't be too worried about him mom!" Meredith assured her mother. "He is like the male version of Queen B! Everyone always idolized him and he had his little squad of team players behind him all the time!"

"That is what I am scared of, school is way different from real life work! I am scared he won't fit in because of how self righteous he can be sometimes!"

"Cockiness is normal for a surgeon, look at Derek he can be pretty annoying sometimes with his massive ego! Jackson chose to be a surgeon because he knows what this job is like, I am certain he will succeed in it, he is a Webber after all!" Meredith held her mother's hand and stroked it.

"You are right!" Ellis agreed easily with her daughter. " Now tell me what is on your mind."

Meredith hesitated but she then saw her mother looking at her expectantly so she decided to share what had happened with her.

"You know Michael's teacher? Her sister will be in this year's interns class!" Meredith was hesitant to have this conversation with her mother. "Her name is Alexandra Grey… It's weird… Do you think she might…"

"No sweetie. I honestly don't, Grey is a pretty common name. For all I know Thatcher disappeared and left Seattle. I haven't heard anything else from him since we got divorced but I am sure it's just a silly coincidence. Don't over think it sweetie!"

"I wasn't going to tell you! I know it would be extremely unlikely! The thought just kept bugging my mind"

"Let the medicine fill your thoughts and go to work now, go settle in yourself, we will talk later!" Ellis dismissed Meredith but as soon as she stood up, Ellis grabbed her hand and managed to get to the other side of the desk to embrace her daughter. "I'm so glad you're home! I love you honey!"

"I love you too mommy!" Meredith replied as she let herself sink in the comfort of her mother's embrace.

After Meredith left, Ellis went to her cupboard and pulled out a file from inside after searching a while in the interns section. In the file was written GREY, A., Ellis skimmed through the pages quickly and couldn't stop herself from gasping after finding what she was searching.

"I'll be damned…." Ellis sat abruptly on her chair, unable to close her mouth.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello good folk from the fanfiction world, how are you all doing? Man, the reviews are always so inspiring and nice to read, you are all great people and thank you so much for the time you spend reading this story and reviewing, it makes my world seriously. I know this chapter is not too big and it doesn't directly have Meredith on it but to compensate the lack of Derek on the previous one, this chapter is all about him. I hope you have a nice time reading it.**

 **Have a nice weekend!**

There was a knock on Derek's office door before it opened, Derek was sitting on the sofa thinking about life in general when Richard Webber came inside without waiting for his response.

"Richard! Good morning!" Derek greeted his former father in law with a handshake.

"Derek, how are you doing? May I sit?" Richard asked, making himself comfortable in his office.

"Of course, please sit down!" Derek pushed the chair in front of his desk for Richard to sit on.

"Thanks Derek!" Richard stared at him as he went to the other side of the desk to sit on his own chair. "You never answered my first question! How have you been?"

"It's good to be back, it will feel good to be near the kids!" Derek knew Richard was there with a purpose, he just didn't know what it was. "It is like nothing has changed, I still have my office, I still live in our marital home, everything feels almost the same as it was before."

"You are part of our family and that hasn't changed also, I know we haven't talked in a while but I still consider you my son in law, you are always welcome at our home."

"Well, you shouldn't say that to me! Meredith is in a serious relationship with someone else, he gets my title now!" Derek said trying to joke but failing completely.

"For god's sake, you are the father of my grandchildren. Ellis and I have missed you just like we missed Meredith and the kids! It doesn't matter how things are or who is with who! All that matters to us, is that you are a good man, you have been a big brother to Jackson while he was in DC Medical School studying, you took care of him, I know how irresponsible he can be sometimes but you acted like a big brother towards him. You guided him, it's no wonder to me and Ellis that he wants to follow your footsteps and go into Neurology. You are his best friend!"

"I actually have to thank him, without Jackson in Washington, life would be incredibly lonely." Derek took Jackson in his house 5 years ago when he came to study for medical school. Derek knew he was failing his classes, parting way too much, missing classes, doing light drugs and heavy drinking, when he met him once for lunch and saw how his ex-wife's little brother was faring, he made him move in with him. Meredith never knew but Jackson had told Richard and Ellis the truth, begging them not to reveal anything to Meredith. "Meredith doesn't know about it, Jackson was afraid she would think that he was against her in the divorce!"

"Meredith is hard headed sometimes, he gets that from her mother, but she would understand it and be thankful to you! But if you don't want to take the credit!"

"What credit? It was nothing!" Derek shrugged it off.

"Oh well, Jackson only slept at your house, you helped him with his studies and guided him through medical school... Like you said it was nothing!" Richard said with a smile on his lips.

"He is part of my family, Jackson sometimes is a little reckless but I guess it's in the family genes, Mer is a bit like that sometimes! But she is a woman and knows how to handle it better!"

"Thank god Maggie got my genes, but still you made him graduate, he wouldn't be here without you! Thanks Derek, I will never forget this!"

"Stop it, you're annoying me with all the extra sweetness!" Derek said playfully. "I might get diabetic!"

"I guess your sense of humor is still on, that's a good thing because Meredith always enjoyed a good laugh!"

Derek stared at Richard, astonished with his last words.

"What do you mean Richard?" Derek asked uncertainly.

"You have to get together! You are both better and mended now, being apart won't make it possible for you to be extraordinary, separated from each other, both of you will only be mediocre, you complete each other and you need her, I know you do!" Derek kept being silent, without knowing what to say. "And she needs you too! I am sure of it, she tries to hide it, but it's all for the show, I know my daughter deep inside!"

"Richard... I don't know what to say. The divorce is on me, it's my fault, she didn't want it! I remember that Ellis even encouraged her to get away from me!"

"It was a difficult time, you weren't yourselves, you needed a break from each other, you needed some space to get some perspective!"

"You know Richard, sometimes I dream that Mattie is still with us! I wonder what would have happened, how many more kids we would have, we would probably have built a swimming pool at our land... But then I wake up and all I now see is me alone in our old bed with only me inside of it! I have thought of selling the house but then I look at the living room and see Matilda going for her first steps, Meredith and I cuddling in the sofa with Mattie as a newborn, tired out of our brains, but still never happier, Mattie's cute giggle as she watched her favorite cartoons... I can't let go of all these memories, because right now that is only what I have..." Derek was sad, although Richard didn't see the tears, he knew that these words came from his heart directly. "What I regret the most, is not having been there for Michael, not knowing when he said his first word, what cereal he liked the most in the mornings, who were his best friends in kindergarten."

"Look, you are not too late, you still have them! You can make new memories of your own, happy memories. Mattie may never recover but you will still have Meredith and Michael here, and you should be with them, it's your rightful place!"

"I don't know how to get her back Richard, if I could, trust me I wouldn't hesitate, but I can't... I was replaced."

"That is bullshit, you and I know it. Martin is like a band aid, it helps covering the wound but you are the one that will cauterize it, preventing it from ever bleeding again." Richard argued.

"I am thankful for your good intentions but does Meredith know of your thoughts about us?" Derek's question was met with silence. "See, that is the problem! She will never hear you talk about it, she would shut you out if she knew you were telling me this."

"The problem with my daughter is that she can't accept that the rest of the people around her are also human and therefore prone to get mistaken. I don't know how she feels, because you know Meredith, she doesn't like to overshare her feelings, I believe that sometimes she doesn't even have the perception of the deepness of her own emotions, she lives her life at a 10 and she can't bear the uncertainty, she gets scared with her feelings, sometimes I still don't believe she agreed to marry you and fight me and Ellis for your love. That is how I know you are meant to be, I am sure you are the love of each other 's lives! For god's sake, you are alive, she is alive, you just need to figure all this crap out and get together!"

"Well Richard, thanks for the support but it's better we take one thing at the time. I know Mer well too, let's begin with cordiality, first I just want her friendship back!"

"Well I am good with that but just hurry up! Neither of you are getting younger." Richard said.

"Thanks Richard for reminding me about the fact that I am almost 45 and single." Derek joked.

"Well, that is a fact. We should go do some working, after all I have to present my speech to the new interns and I don't want to occupy more of your time! And Ellis asked for you to stop by her office!"

"Yes, I was planning on it!" Richard turned to leave, but Derek said. "Dr. Webber, thank you!"

"Have a nice work day Dr. Shepherd and... I urge you to treat Jackson just like another intern, I am sure he is capable of making it like any other of his class, even if Ellis doesn't believe in it!"

"Sure! Did you tell that to yourself first? I have to tell you I won't be mean to him! He is still a kid to me…"

"Let's just try to be as professional as possible… Deal?"

"It's a deal…" Derek replied and offered his hand for them to shake on it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi everyone! I wanted to update this chapter in the beginning of the week but the days went by and I only managed to upload it today. This chapter is not my favorite one, it might be the one I like the least, it's a filler and I hope you won't dislike it too much. I promise that soon there will be more Meredith and Derek together. Thank you for the kind words and I hope everyone is doing well.**

The group of new interns entered the OR for the first time since they had been in Seattle Grace. Jackson didn't have a lot of time to chat them up, he had arrived almost at the same time as his father. Jackson had heard his father's speech since he was old enough to be left to wander the hospital by himself, he had heard him practice it at home and giving it to the terrified new doctors.

"Each of you comes here today hopeful. Wanting in on the game. A month ago you were in med school being taught by doctors. Today, you are the doctors." Richard nodded to his son, who only pretended to look somewhere else. "The seven years you spend here as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life. You will be pushed to the breaking point. Look around you. Say hello to your competition. Eight of you will switch to an easier specialty. Five of you will crack under the pressure and two of you will be asked to leave"

"This is the starting line, this is your arena, how well you play, that's up to you!" Jackson muttered to himself just as his father gave the last words of his speech.

"I am sorry! Did you say something?" Jackson looked at the pretty brunette that was right next to him.

"I was just saying... That we are so screwed!" Jackson said quickly, hoping that she would believe him.

"Thank god, I am not the only one feeling that way. Being in a hospital is so nerve wracking. I am so afraid of messing up and killing someone." Jackson noticed the beautiful dark eyes of his fellow intern. "I didn't introduce myself, I am Alexandra Grey, but you can call me Lexie!"

"Nice to meet you Lexie. I am Jackson." He wanted to let it be a secret for a little while longer that he was the son of the chief of surgery and the chief of general surgery, as well as brother of two other doctors in the hospital. "So are you from around here, Lexie?"

"I still live with my parents, it's so lame, but my sister and my niece also live there which makes things a little better. I am so desperate to move out though, what about you?"

"I am also living with my parents and it's just so uncomfortable. They actually gave me a ride to the hospital today, I feel like I am still 8 years old." Jackson was annoyed with his lack of privacy.

"Do they work nearby?" Lexie asked.

"Yes, something like that… Look we must go change to our scrubs and go meet our resident now!"

"You're so right, we can't make our resident upset in the first day, you know they call him… the" Lexie lowered her voice but Jackson stopped her.

"Yes, I do know, let's hope it's just to get us all scared!" Jackson and Lexie made their way to their respective cubby to get ready for their first day.

"Only 6 women out of 20." Lexie made the remark to her fellow female intern, right next to her.

"Yeah but well I hear one of the boys is a model. At least work will be a little more joyful."

"I have a feeling I've met that guy!" Lexie asked. "You're Cristina, right?"

"Which resident you got assigned to? I got Kepner." Cristina answered after nodding to Lexie's question.

"The Undertaker? Me too…" Lexie sighed loudly.

"You got the Undertaker? So did I. At least we'll be tortured together, right? I'm George O'Malley. You know I met one of the attendings yesterday, we met at the uh, mix. She was really nice, we met at the buffet table, she actually talked with me for awhile. You might have noticed her, her hair was this beautiful shade of dirty blonde, she had a black dress on with a slit on the side with combining strappy sandals and … now you think I'm gay." George tried to explain but Lexie had already headed to the direction of the door. "No, I'm not gay." George affirmed after noticing the look Cristina was giving him.

"Uh huh." Cristina said smirking.

"t's uh… it's just that uh, you know, I mean she was very unforgettable…" When Cristina also left to join Lexie, George added to himself. "And I am totally giving them the wrong impression…"

"GREY, YANG, O'MALLEY, WEBBER!" A nurse called the group of four from the entrance of the locker's room.

"Kepner?" Yang was the one to ask.

"End of the hall." Replied the nurse and then moving somewhere else.

"That is the Undertaker?" Cristina was a little incredulous.

"I thought the Undertaker would be a guy!" George said joining the group.

"I thought she would be a lot bigger than that…" Jackson, who had been quietly changing to scrubs, took part in the group's conversation. "Wrestler type…"

"Let me guess, you are the model!" Cristina said eyeing Jackson up and down successively.

"Shut up… I am a doctor!" Jackson argued, he was so over being praised for his looks all the time.

"I am Alexandra Grey… But you can call me Lexie!" Lexie was the first to speak after they got close to the petite brunette leaning on the nurse's desk.

Lexie regretted what she said as Kepner eyed her dangerously.

"I have five rules, please memorize them. Rule number one don't bother sucking up I already hate you, that is not going to change!"

The petite brunette turned her back on them and commanded to the group.

"Follow me!" The interns stood there dumbfound and picked their pagers from the nurse's section. "Let's move people, we are over the kindergarten days!"

Jackson was amazed by how mean and angry his resident was. He had heard of her reputation from some doctors who would talk about her as if she was the most dangerous predator alive and who would feed off her interns. Her speech was longer than he expected. She gave them a big lecture about every single thing they weren't allowed to do, the only things she didn't exclude seemed to be breathing and going to the toilet.

"Ok, I have your assignments! Cristina you are on labs, George patient work ups, Jackson the chief of neurosurgery requested my help with one of his cases, you are with me."

"Dr. Shepherd?" Jackson asked amused.

"Yes, that is the one! Ok, let's go work, people!" Kepner urged them to move along.

" Wait… What about me?" Lexie asked, realizing she had been forgotten.

"Honey, you get to do rectal exams! Webber let's go!" April left with Jackson three steps behind her.

They had just entered the elevators when Jackson got the courage to start a conversation with his resident.

"So how are you liking the hospital so far?" Jackson asked Kepner, only for her to give him a cold look in return. "I am sorry, I was just curious to know what are you thinking of Seattle Grace…"

"So you can report it to your mother? Let's put some things straight, I know exactly who you are and about your family, I won't let you take any advantage because of it, if you haven't actually earned something, you won't get it just because of your name! To me you are just like any other intern."

"I wasn't expecting anything less, I am sure my mother told you that!"

"Look Webber just stop talking and concentrate on the hard job you are about to be given, I don't want to see you slacking up."

"Actually I would like to be called by my middle name, there are already too many Webbers around here, I want to be called Jackson Avery instead, I even asked Human Resources to get my card identification changed to Jackson Avery."

"It's fine by me, Avery or Webber or whatever, as long as you give your best, that is all I care about. We have to go find Dr. Shepherd now in the ER. A girl has come in with seizures."

After they entered the ER, Jackson noticed April Kepner unsure of where to go as she probably didn't know who Shepherd was. Maggie was passing by and Kepner grabbed her arm.

"I am sorry doctor, do you know where Dr. Shepherd is?" Kepner asked.

"Dr. Shepherd went to the roof to meet a patient that transported by helicopter. They should be down here any minute." Maggie realized that Jackson was there as well, Jackson smiled to her.

"Hello Dr. Webber!" Jackson knew that this moment would eventually come, there he was in his first day with his sisters as his bosses.

"Ohhh Jackson you look so dapper in your scrubs, it seems yesterday you were around here doing your maths homework and complaining that our parents weren't still ready to take you home."

"Well, I am a grown up now, thankfully." Jackson noticed the commotion nearing the ER. "I guess the patient is here…" Jackson said to Kepner, who had been looking at her pager.

"Good luck, make us all proud." Maggie said as Jackson and April ran in the direction of the incoming gurney.

As soon as Derek looked up and saw Jackson and his resident, he knew that they would be the team he would be working with. He quickly introduced them to the case. Jackson noticed the young blonde teenager that was seizing on top of the gurney.

"Katie Bryce, 15 year old female, new onset seizures, intermittent for the past week. IV lost in route and started grand mall seizing as they descended." Derek gave them both the general information on the case. "Jackson, get her on the side. Hey Dr. …"Derek was looking at Kepner trying to remember her name.

"April Kepner" She quickly informed him as a nurse held Katie in place and Jackson began working on Katie himself.

"Right, Kepner 10 miligrams of diazepam i.m.. No, Jackson the right lead is on the right side. Righty, whitey. Smoke over fire. A large boar IV, don't let the blood haemolyse. Let's go."

Soon after Kepner injected the diazepam, Katie stopped seizing and Dr. Ellis Webber appeared.

"Oh, I hear we got a wet fish on dry land." She said to Derek, ignoring both Jackson and Kepner.

"Absolutely Ellis. Let's shotgun her then. That means every test on the book, CT, CBC, CHEM-7, Tox Screen." Derek said directing his commands to Kepner.

"Avery, get Katie for a CT. She's your responsibility now." Kepner commanded him.

"Avery? He is a Webber! He is Jackson Webber." Ellis affirmed.

"Correction, I am Jackson Avery Webber, I am Webber in fact but I want to be known as Jackson Avery, c'mon Meredith used to be a Shepherd but here she always went by Grey." Jackson tried to make his point. "There are enough Webbers around here."

"Well, tell that to your father. Just don't expect him to be that happy about it." Ellis remarked. "Go do your job now."

"Richard will be so pissed when he tells him." Derek said as Jackson was leaving. "What are you doing around here?"

"I was looking for you, you never made it to my office." Ellis answered him.

"Well, this urgency happened, I had to take care of it first…" Derek said as both left the side of the patient's bed. "I will stop by before lunch at your office." Derek noticed Ellis's look and realized that something was amiss. "Is everything alright Ellis?"

"Look Derek, I really have to talk with you. Did Meredith invite you for dinner tonight?" Ellis asked, knowing fully well that she hadn't. "Well, you are invited now. Dinner with the family in my house."

"Thank you Ellis, you should run it down with Meredith first, though. I don't want to see her moping all night because she didn't want me to come."

"Nonsense… Ok! If it makes you feel better, I'll talk with her first." Ellis concluded.

Kepner had been scribbling down in the patient's chart when they both realized she had been there the entire time.

"Dr. Kepner how are you faring?" Ellis asked the resident.

"Well, Dr. Webber. I am still a little lost around here, but it's only my first day so that's to be expected."

"You will get better, anything you can always ask Jackson, he would make a fine tour guide of Seattle Grace." Ellis's pager started beeping noisily and she made a frustrated face when she looked at it. "Duty calls, I must go now! I'll be expecting your visit Derek."

"April Kepner right? I am sorry, I didn't have time to introduce myself. I am Derek Shepherd." Derek extended his hand for April to shake it.

"Nice to meet you Dr. Shepherd." April said looking Derek straight in the eye.

"I heard you were from Mercy West, Dr. Kepner. I have to ask you, why the change?" Derek asked April, looking at her hesitant face.

"Well, truthfully I was always very enthusiast about neurosurgery, and once I knew you were to return to Seattle, I just couldn't stay in Mercy West being taught by Clemmens." April answered Derek as if she just told him about the results of some scans.

"I know the guy well, he did his internship here at Seattle Grace with me! What is your professional opinion about his work methods?" Derek asked, anxious to know her opinion.

"He lacks precision and teaching skills, he is very reticent in handling difficult cases and seems unfocused most of the times."

"That pretty much sums up my impression of him. He is a funny guy though. He was the intern's class clown in my year, I bet he makes the OR time way more pleasant."

"Well, had I wanted to be a comedian, I would probably appreciate his jokes but since I want to be a surgeon, I don't want to fool around while doing my job. Excuse me, I must go now, check out what those fools are doing…" April said curtly, leaving him by himself.

"Ow, she is… straightforward and mean. Her interns are so screwed." Derek laughed and then left to go to his office.


	13. Chapter 13

**Here is a chapter with more Meredith and Derek on it. I hope you like it and a big thank you for everyone that reads this story and who are kind enough to leave a review. Have a nice week!**

As Derek went to his office, he decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator, as soon as he opened the door to the stairwell, he noticed Meredith's voice, he could see her on the stairs of the upper floor, she was with her back to the rail and she failed to notice Derek's presence, she was definitely talking on the phone and it seemed by her tone that she was upset.

"Look Martin, you are being completely ridiculous. You don't have a vacancy here at Seattle Grace because you applied late, my mother told me that herself. She said you were a great candidate but it would be unfair if she accepted you into the program." Derek knew Meredith well enough to know she was pissed with Martin. He couldn't resist not eavesdropping her conversation. "Stop being a fool! Of course I know you are my boyfriend and… obviously I miss you. We talked about this before I left, I specifically told you that I didn't want to keep you tied to me when I was so far away! Look, stop right there… I don't deserve to hear any of this. Bye… Jerk"

Derek then heard a loud banging of the door and he knew that Meredith had left, so he was free to go where he intended to without her catching him, he decided to head to his boss's office now, he couldn't delay it anymore. Derek seemed to have two mothers in his life, Carolyn, his birth and very beloved mother, and Ellis, who even though she was no longer his mother in law, still acted as if she was.

While he was going to the floor in which Ellis's office was, he passed some on-call rooms, he heard some female giggling and he didn't have to guess what was happening in there. As soon as he was passing the last one of the on-call rooms, Maggie Webber and Alex Karev came out of it, laughing breathlessly and with their clothes all wrinkled up. They noticed him as their eyes left each other's face and looked up to where they wanted to go, from where exactly Derek was coming from. Derek couldn't help but smile as he saw the embarrassment that turned Maggie's cheeks red.

"Derek man! It's good to see you." Alex went to give Derek a quick friendly hug.

"Yeah, Alex, it's been a while." Derek was happy to see Alex again after such a long time, even though he had always been Meredith's best friend, Derek knew Alex Karev was someone he could always count on. "I guess the honeymoon is still on full swing, should I call you Dr. Karev now Maggie?"

"Please Derek don't mess with the name thing, she is still unsure if she wants to keep using her maiden name around here just like Meredith used to." Alex pleaded with him. "I am trying to change her mind on the matter."

"With Meredith it was an impossible deed, she was always saying she wanted her independence from me, but it's like why do they decide to have the name if they don't want no one to call them by it."

"It makes no sense… But you Derek as a neurosurgeon, I am pretty sure you can distinguish the female distorted brain from those of men, without even seeing their vagina."

"Well..." Derek was about to make some funny remark, when a furious Maggie interrupted them.

"I am right here, I have a female brain of my own, as a matter of fact way more useful than yours, which only thinks about playing with your thingy 24/7. And I don't want you to talk as if I am transparent. I am right here…" Maggie was upset that the guys were having guy talk without minding her.

"Calm down Maggs, you should be relaxed, you know that when you are winded up like that you leave me all…" Alex was about to finish his sentence when Maggie interrupted him.

"Stop, seriously! Derek is here… You, guys, DO always think about your thingy all the time. I am leaving now." Maggie left looking furious with the two of them.

"She seemed… a little upset!" Derek remarked.

"You think? She will act as if nothing happened in 2 or 3 hours. Damn Derek, you aged." Alex said making fun of him. "You are no longer McDreamy, more like McOldie."

"You wish, I still got them good." Derek made his point as he winked to a passing young doctor in light blue scrubs and gave her a dreamy smile, leaving the young woman staring deeply at him, before running after checking her beeping pager. "See?"

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that…. But man, it's nice to see you around here again." Alex patted his back. "I missed you on the wedding."

Maggie and Alex had gotten married 2 months ago, Meredith and Michael had come to attend the wedding but Derek was unavailable due to some urgent matters concerning the passage of his ongoing project to a new supervisor, as he had to return to Seattle and resign from it.

"Yeah, it sucked that I couldn't fly to come for it, but I am incredibly happy for you and Maggie. Even though she seems like PMSing right now, which is so unlike Maggie."

"I will tell you this, something only pretty much Mer knows. But you are like a brother to me too, even though it has been ages since we talked with each other. Maggie is receiving some fertility shots." Alex gave an incredibly big smile to Derek. "Mattie and Mike will have a cousin soon hopefully, at least we are working hard on it."

"I am so happy for you two. Just don't get all sad when the kid becomes a pain in the ass and doesn't let you have sex with your wife." Derek joked.

"It seems to me that the kid wasn't exactly the blame for you to stop having sex with Meredith…" Alex stopped mid sentence as soon as he realized what he had just said, truthfully Mattie's condition had been the reason why the golden couple had fallen apart, everybody knew it. "I am sorry Derek, I didn't mean it like that."

"It's fine Karev! I must go see your mother in law now." Derek was fine with that theme, he just wasn't exactly fond of thinking that Matilda had any blame in the separation of her parents, when they were actually the ones to blame.

"She will always be your mother in law too. And she would give all the world for you to get back together with Meredith again."

"Yeah, well the world is not nearly enough for that to happen…"

"Dude, just listen to my advice, have some faith, ok?" Alex encouraged Derek, he wanted love to win it all in the end, both Meredith and Derek deserved it.

"Thanks Alex, you're a good friend." Derek said leaving to go to Ellis office.

Being back to the hospital had been somewhat weird. The place had barely changed, he still knew almost everyone, it seemed like the gap of 6 years didn't take place. He knew all the corridors and all the hidden spots of his workplace, he was glad for it as he just wasn't a fan of new in anything on his life.

Ellis's office was still in the same place as it had been, in full display to everyone that was going that way. It didn't give her a lot of privacy but Ellis always said that she preferred it that way rather than a secluded space as like that her employees all knew she was always on notice and never hidden away, always happy to welcome them to her personal working space for them to share their problems with her. Meredith used to joke about that, claiming that her mother wanted to be god, being everywhere and knowing every damn thing in her subordinate's lives.

Derek glanced at the office and couldn't see Ellis inside of it. He went to Patricia, Ellis's secretary, to ask about Ellis whereabouts. She indicated that Ellis went to have an unscheduled board meeting outside of the hospital, since it was already midday Derek decided to get something to eat, he would call Ellis later.

As he was nearing the elevators, Meredith came unexpectedly from the corner and shocked with him, making her drop four patient's charts on the floor. Derek quickly grabbed Meredith by her waist as she stumbled from the impact against Derek's harder and bigger frame.

"Mer, are you ok?" Derek asked not letting go of her waist. It had been too long since he had last been that close to her, Meredith quickly recomposed herself and pulled away from his touch as if his hands were hot iron.

"I am fine Derek!" They both dropped down to collect the charts. "I got it Derek." Derek had already grabbed three of the charts and handed them to her.

"Busy day?" Derek asked.

"You have no idea, feels like everyone was waiting for my return to get sick." Meredith joked.

"I can't believe the Brigham's was any…" Derek was about to say, when he noticed the brunette girl that he had winked to when he was talking with Alex. "Yes?" Derek asked, wondering what her deal was.

"You're the guy that winked at me and gave me a totally inappropriate look and smile a bit earlier…" The girl started speaking without giving any attention to Meredith's presence. "And you are the neurosurgeon and my boss, actually my bosses's boss… And since my boss"

"Spit it out!" Derek was anxious from the girl's rambling. "Start with your name first please and then explain to me what you want."

"You are way older than me but also incredibly handsome, I am an intern and you're an attending…" The girl continued.

"Look! I was just messing with you… No big deal, now tell me please what do you want?"

"My resident… Dr. April Kepner asked me to go find the neurosurgeon Shepherd. Since I didn't know who he was, I asked the nurse who told me you went to find the chief. She described you as loads of dark hair, gorgeous, baby blue eyes, tall…" The intern continued rambling amongst her words and with a intense shade of red on her cheeks.

"What do you want?" Derek was annoyed now, even though the girl seemed quite adorable, she was getting on his nerves.

"Katie Bryce's exams came and Dr. Kepner asked me to hand them to you." The intern spoke as quickly as possible without any time to breathe and then gave the exams she was holding to Derek and quickly turned on her wheel to leave.

"Your name?" Derek asked.

"Lexie Grey." The anxious girl turned to say and quickly left Derek and Meredith by themselves without waiting for a response.

"Thanks… Dr. Grey." Derek said to no one. "I guess we discovered who is the sister of Michael's teacher." Derek said now to his ex wife.

"Yeah, I guess we did…" Meredith said thoughtful.

"So you were telling me about your morning..." Meredith just looked at Derek, giving him one disdainful look and left him alone without uttering not even another word.

"What is going on with the women around here… Jesus…" Derek said, passing his fingers through his hair.

Derek decided to go examine Katie's exams first. He was astonished everything was clear, everything was as it was supposed to be, except that the teenager kept having seizures. What could be wrong with her?

Derek decided to meet with Kepner for them to discuss the course of action but first he would get his lunch from the cafeteria. As soon as he got there, he noticed Jackson standing up from the table full of young anxious faces, clearly the new intern's table. On the other end of the room there was Mark Sloan, Miranda Bailey and Meredith, enjoying their lunches. He went to the line and got himself a chicken sandwich, a glass of orange juice and some chocolate pudding.

"How is everyone doing?" Derek asked, as he sat down in the only vacant seat.

"Good Shep!" Replied Mark, followed by greetings from Bailey.

"Congratulations Miranda, I have heard you had a little boy." Derek said to the general surgeon Miranda Bailey, who had been in his intern's class, just like Mark Sloan. "How is Tucker doing?"

"Those congratulations come a bit late Derek, little Tuck is already 4 years old." Meredith intervened in the conversation abruptly, everyone stood there awkwardly because of Meredith's way of talking to Derek.

"Thank you Derek! Tucker is fine, he is actually on a business meeting in Taiwan, his company will be expanding to Asia soon. Well actually Meredith, Tuck will be 5 years old in 2 weeks, we are having a garden birthday party. You should bring your son." Miranda tried making the conversation continue normally, making it seem like Meredith hadn't spoken to Derek in the way she did.

"If Meredith agrees to it, we would love to go to your son's birthday party." Derek said cautiously, avoiding to look at Meredith. "Michael needs more friends in Seattle."

"He just started school today, we have been here in Seattle not even for 4 full days, he has time to bond with other children." Meredith realized that all the table was looking at her and quickly added. "In Boston he used to be invited for play dates all the time."

"Yes, Meredith I know our son is sociable."

"Any news on the crazy rugrat." Sloan intervened trying to make the atmosphere cool off.

"Not about Michael thankfully. Mark, do you know it's his first day at school? And it seems like Derek is getting to know the teacher's family well." Meredith couldn't keep her rage inside of her, Derek was puzzled at her.

"What do you mean?" Sloan made a funny face.

"Yes, it seems like the teacher has a sister, who is an intern in the hospital, and Derek is working with her" Everyone was looking at Meredith, who continued. "How is she, Derek?"

"She is… just another intern…" Derek just shook his head, unable to understand what on god's name was going through Meredith's mind.

Derek's pager started beeping and he just stood up, excusing himself with the fact that his patient was coding. He searched for Jackson who was nowhere to be seen in the cafeteria and then just stormed off, leaving his sandwich half eaten and his pudding untouched.

"I must go now ladies. Duty calls." Mark Sloan stood up and waited for 10 seconds in search of something to say to Meredith. "Grey, keep it at home, will you? Either fuck him or let him go, the middle ground is totally unfair for the guy."

Meredith was going to respond but Mark had already gone away.

"Those men are seriously the worst thing invented. They are to no good use." Meredith complained to Miranda, who was just with an unbelievable look on her face.

"Meredith, come on! Face the facts as they are. You divorced the guy, you got a new guy, you can't keep Derek in your pocket for the rest of his life." Bailey was lecturing Meredith as if she was her child, even though Bailey was only 10 years older than her. "He deserves better than this emotional limbo you both are in."

"Bailey, I wasn't…" Meredith was dumbfound by her colleague's words.

"I know what you are going to say. Don't waste those words on me please. Just don't ever make a scene in front of your colleagues again, it is bad for the professional environment around here."

Miranda Bailey left to get to her work and left Meredith alone by herself.

"Just… Screw them all…" Meredith said to herself silently after picking up Derek's chocolate pudding from his tray and started devouring it. Damn she was in such a bad humor, life sucked for her today, it seemed.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello! This week has been terrible, my heart is bleeding for all the people that perished in the earthquake in Italy and their families, this life is so unexpected, I hope you are making the most of yours and trying to live every minute in life to the fullest, these kind of things remind me how stupid my problems are and how I should appreciate everything around me that I sometimes take for granted. The fires in Portugal were crazy last week and many lost their home and some people their lives too.**

 **I hope you and your loved ones are safe and doing well.**

 **Have a nice weekend**

As Derek went down the hallway as fast as he could to get in Katie's room. He saw commotion inside the teenager's room. There were 2 nurses and Jackson with CPR paddles looking distressed. Kepner had just arrived shortly after him.

"Her pressure is coming up." A nurse said as soon as they entered the room. "Breath is coming back."

"What the hell happened?" Kepner asked Jackson aggressively.

"She had a seizure and her heart stopped." Jackson quickly explained.

"You were supposed to be monitoring her." Kepner argued.

"I checked on her before lunch and she…" Jackson tried explaining.

"I got her now…" Derek said putting his stethoscope on to listen to Katie's heartbeat after giving Jackson a sorry look. "Give me her chart please."

Derek watched as Jackson went to the entrance of the room looking stressed out of his mind. Kepner was on the back and Derek heard her distinct voice to Jackson.

"You get a 911, you page me immediately, not in the 5 minutes to get you to the emergency, immediately Webber or Avery or whatever. Do you hear me? Go now."

Kepner received the chart from Derek and started studying it herself.

"You are a bit harsh to those interns, they will be needing psychological help after today." Derek joked.

"I am a competent teacher. I am not mean to them for fun, I am mean to them because there are lives on their hands and they should realize it." Kepner answered sincerely.

"I know it but it's their first day, it won't do them any good if they are nervous all day." Derek tried persuading Kepner. "What do I have to do for you to cut them some slack?"

"Start with a coffee first. I might give you some credit after a coffee." Kepner suggested as if she was asking him what was his medical opinion on Katie's exams.

Derek looked at Kepner, she somewhat reminded him of Meredith. She had been just like Kepner in her resident years. Kepner looked at him with a glint on her eyes.

"I still haven't looked at Katie's exams attentively. I will go to my office now and I will page you as soon as I have something clear on what her prognosis might be." Derek said, preferring to ignore Kepner's advances.

* * *

After leaving the patient's room, Derek felt the need to empty his bladder and went in the direction to the restroom. As soon as he entered it, Derek heard the sound of someone loudly vomiting on a stall, there was no one else there except him and the guy inside.

"Sir, are you feeling alright?" Derek questioned in his doctor mode.

There was no noise back, except the flush of the toilet and the door opening. Derek was astonished when he saw Jackson looking pale.

"Jackson… "

"Those tuna sandwiches in the cafeteria, I swear something was terribly wrong with them." Jackson tried to give an excuse.

"Don't let Kepner put you like this. For god's sake, you have Ellis Webber as a mother, she is as tough as nails when it comes to her hospital, she wouldn't allow you to be on her program only because you are her son. You have to make yourself be heard, even if you don't want to be called Webber, you are one. Rise and shine!"

"You'd make a great motivational speaker… Do you tell that to yourself every morning?" Jackson joked. "Because then I know why you have your self confidence."

"Go to work and do your best. We can't ask you more than your best Jackson." Derek continued.

"I also want you to do the best you can. Concerning Meredith and the kids, please Derek do your best for everyone's sake, will you?" Jackson left after saying that. His first shift wasn't over and almost every member of Meredith's family had tried to match him up with his ex-wife, how he wished things were that simple.

* * *

Derek was hungry, he was tired and he was upset. Last night he had barely slept, he was as anxious as Michael for his first day of school. Looking at Katie's exams just got him more frustrated, he didn't know what was the way to go. He was lying on his sofa when his office's door sprung open, revealing the person he least expected.

"Meredith!" Derek exclaimed, surprised but not making any moves to get up.

"Don't say anything Derek! I am in a weird cranky mood today." Meredith pleaded. "I am sorry for what happened in the cafeteria." Meredith said as she sat down in the sofa putting Derek's feet on her lap.

"Are you really? The Meredith I know is just like an Ellis Webber mini-me. She is always right." Derek said laughing. "So who gave you a lecture? I'm betting all my money on Miranda Bailey."

It only took one look for Meredith to confirm it to Derek.

"Bailey and… Sloan also." Meredith answered shyly.

"I knew it." Derek said happily.

"She thinks I am dragging you along, you'd tell me if you felt that way, right?" Meredith asked.

"Mer, it's not that easy to say. You don't belong to me anymore." Derek said simply.

"I know it. Sometimes it's hard for me to accept it too, the fact that we aren't together anymore." Meredith avoided looking at Derek.

"It's hard for everyone." Derek pulled himself up and sat rigidly in the sofa, he passed one hand to Meredith's arm and she felt herself tingling all over. "You can't be jealous as you don't have that right anymore."

"I know it, don't I know it?" Meredith was about to continue when her phone started ringing, Derek saw Martin's name on the screen. Meredith pulled herself up and went to the door after ignoring the call. "I have to go now." Meredith pushed the door open but before she left, she turned and looked at Derek. "I am really sorry for behaving worse than our son today." Meredith smiled.

"It's ok, we all have those days… And there is nothing to forgive." Derek replied, smiling back at Meredith and letting her know that everything was alright.

* * *

Derek was clueless about what to do in Katie Bryce's case. He looked at her and thought of his daughter, who even though was bedridden, he still hoped that he could see her become a teenager, a lively normal teenager. He decided that more heads would think better than only two. Derek was sitting behind his desk brainstorming with Kepner for awhile until he reached a conclusion.

"What do you think about it Dr. Kepner?" Derek asked after expressing what he thought should be their next move.

"Dr. Shepherd, I don't really believe that those interns will be able to figure the patient's problem out."

"They are not dumb, they are intelligent beings. They graduated from medical school and are on their way to achieve success. You should give them a chance"

"I understand that, but they are just fresh meat." Kepner replied.

"Well I am the lead here and I decide that I am going to ask them for some help." Derek concluded.

"You should learn to put them in their place Shepherd, they will see your weakness and they will step on it." April Kepner seemed pissed at Derek's decision.

"Dr. Kepner, you know I am your superior, right?" Derek said, intrigued by the lack of authority that Kepner had concerning him.

"Yes, I do know it but the way you let me talk to you, just proved my point. The difference here is that I am already a fully capable professional, they are just like children on the first class of elementary school. You should show us all who is the boss here." April Kepner turned his back on Derek and left, not waiting for a response.

Derek paged every surgical intern in the hospital to the meeting room, there sat his ex brother-in-law along 20 something more faces, there were also some residents. Kepner stood by his side as he started his speech.

"Katie Bryce is a medical mystery. There is no plausible reason for her to seize in the way she does. She needed to be resuscitated today after a seizure, I am going to do a thing that surgeons rarely ever do. Ask interns for help. I want you to get to know the case, there are copies of the chart at the center of the table, if you need, go visit Katie and check her yourself, as long as she is ok with it, feel free for it. I am just asking you for some ideas, some directions that might lead us to the origin of Katie's condition. You have all the night to think about this case, you will be rewarded with a pass to the OR in your very first shift and I will see what else I can offer you. Do you have any questions?"

After no one answered, he continued.

"Take a copy of the case and study it. I expect to hear from you tomorrow morning. Thanks for the collaboration guys." Derek departed the room.

Derek had walked past a few doors when he felt a hand on his shoulder and the sound of someone breathing heavily. Right behind him stood no one but the intern who had delivered him Katie's exams.

"Dr. Shepherd, I want to apologize for the way I behaved earlier. I am a bit of a nervous talker, please forgive me." The brunette said.

"Please Grey, I shouldn't have winked at you. I wasn't messing with you, it was just a silly move that I made just to prove a point." Derek continued. "I just want to be a good teacher to you and that was a bad start."

"Hummmm Dr. Shepherd, it's alright!" Lexie became red as a tomato and began her stammering again. "Of course I knew you wouldn't be interested in me. I mean look at you…"

"Grey, you are very pretty but this is a very unprofessional discussion. If you want to ask me questions about the case, go ahead, if you don't have anything else to say besides that, please go do something more valuable with your time." Derek didn't mean to be hard, he just followed Kepner's advice to put the interns in their place and it seemed to work well.

"So you don't mind if I try my luck for this case?" Lexie asked.

"I would be offended if you didn't, especially since your own resident is the one on this case. You might ask her for some help, I am sure she won't mind helping you." Derek left, with a smirk on his face, leaving the intern there with her own thoughts.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey people! I completely understand that you don't want to see Derek with other girls but I use them to show that Derek is a really good looking chap, he could have any woman he wanted, he has loads of women appreciating him and trying to make him hook up with them, he is not blind either and he can notice if a girl is pretty or not, he is simply not interested, the only woman that has his thoughts and his attention is Meredith, he actually compares the other girls to Meredith and thinks of what those chicks remind him of Meredith, he loves her beyond everything else and he chooses to be kind of celibate because for him it's either Meredith or no one else. He isn't seeking another relationship, he is in fact in an emotional limbo because he can't put their great love behind his back as Meredith did. Folks, this a MerDer story through and through, just because Derek interacts with women, doesn't mean he will get into bed with them, at least it's not in my plans at the moment. Please have some faith in the future… I will give you some Merder in this chapter in order to try for you all to forgive me. And to finish in a high note… Team MerDer** **:)**

As Meredith reached the first floor, she noticed Jackson near the vending machines choosing something from it. She went to her brother as he gulped down big mouthfuls of water.

"What is wrong with you?" Meredith asked going straight to the point.

"Nothing! Everything is fine, aren't you always fine too?" Jackson remarked irritated.

""Owwww! Who kicked your dog and left it as dead on the curb?" Meredith asked playfully, choosing to ignore how her brother talked to her. "You can yell at me, snap at me, just remember I am your boss and I am actually not the one that put you feeling like that."

"And how am I feeling Meredith?"

"Like crap probably. Well you look like that too." Meredith gestured her brother to follow her and sit down in the nearest bench. "So start with the beginning, please."

"My resident is just hard, that is all. I took an extra 5 minutes to get to a patient's room and she was about to decapitate me publicly. It didn't help that Derek chose to ignore it."

"That is your resident's duty actually, to put you in your place and Derek, he isn't your friend here. There is no Derek around here, there is a Dr. Shepherd, who is your attending."

"The problem isn't with him, it is with how unexpected and different being a doctor is than what I predicted."

"This is your learning process. Man up Jackson." Meredith tried motivating him. "Mom would kick your ass if she saw you moaning like that."

"She isn't here, she will only know if either you or Derek blab it to her. I know Derek, he is a good secret keeper, you… I am not so sure..."

"I am your sister, how can you love my ex husband more than me?" Meredith questioned, faking being outraged with it.

"He is my brother too." Jackson told her simply. "He is my best friend."

"How can you be best friends with Derek? Don't tell me that you went out together when you were in Washington without me knowing."

"Derek helped me through a lot, that is all I will tell you. If you want to know more, ask Derek."

"Ask him about what? For god's sake you were the one who stirred the pot, you should tell me..." As Meredith saw Jackson with his serious expression, she gave up. "Whatever, I will find out sooner rather than later. So tell me about your day?"

"I am working on a neurosurgical case, Derek is consulting on a girl who keeps seizing. I was the intern chosen to assist on the case, I wasn't expecting to babysit a Barbie girl. I thought I was done with them once I finished high school."

"You are basically the real life, tanned Ken, you will always be surrounded by those kind of girls."

"She keeps either harassing me, trying to convince me that she is old enough to date me, or talking about her stupid superficial life." Jackson complained furiously.

"Tell me about the actual case now. I don't want to hear about your silly drama."

"As if you weren't the queen of silly drama yourself! You even got a silly boyfriend to cause more pathetic drama in your life."

"This isn't about me, it's about you." Meredith said not really contemplating what Jackson had said.

"Ok Meredith, at least I am happy you are not denying the silly drama your teenager boyfriend brings to your life. I am glad you acknowledge it."

"Just stop being a jackass! Martin is 2 years older than you and I will soon put an end to the drama."

"Really? You are thinking about breaking up with him?" Jackson's mood just got a boost after Meredith's response.

"It's the most probable end to long distance relationships... Tell me about the patient please." Meredith wanted the discussion about Martin to be over.

"Yeah, well ok. The girl keeps seizing with no apparent cause..."

"What did the exams show?" Meredith asked.

"Everything was clear, she doesn't seem to have anything that makes sense for her to have this kind of seizures. One hour ago she had one so bad that we had to resuscitate her. And now Derek is asking the interns' help."

"Really? Well that is an unusual thing for an attending to do. If you need any help you can always ask me Jackson. Will you be home for tonight's dinner?"

"Nope, only tomorrow afternoon I'll get some time off. I can go pick up Michael and we can hang out by the house until either you or Derek leave from work."

"Are you sure you will be capable of entertaining a six year old after a 30 hour shift?"

"No worries... Besides Mike is probably the most adorable kid on the face of the earth and you know I really can't sleep when it's daylight."

"Thanks Jackie! And just hold on tight, the next days will be better." Meredith encouraged Jackson and patted his knee.

"Thanks Mer." Jackson felt good for having the support of his family, even though with all the bickering, there was nothing better in life than family.

They stood up but when Meredith saw Jackson's hopelessness still present on his face, she went to hug him again.

"Everything will be ok!"

Jackson and Meredith were enjoying their sibling hug when April Kepner appeared in front of them with an impatient expression on her face.

"What do you think you are doing?" April asked Jackson with an irritated tone.

"I was just about to get to work..."

"Really? Well you shouldn't have stopped working at all... Just go or tomorrow you will face my wrath!"

Jackson directed an incredulous, desperate look to Meredith.

"Do as your resident says!" Meredith advised him and he soon went on his way, Meredith looked at Kepner who was eyeing her from top to bottom. "Can I help you with something doctor?"

"You think I am going to stand by and watch as an intern keeps being favored so bluntly because..."

"You know I am your boss, right?" Meredith responded lightly.

"You don't scare me, the next time I see you being intimate with an intern, even though he is the chief's son, I will be sure reporting you both and kicking him out of my service for a month. You understand that Dr... Grey?" April Kepner concluded after taking a glimpse at Meredith's tag to check out her name.

Meredith couldn't take it anymore, faking a serious face was too much for her, she just cracked straight laughing.

"Why do I feel as if you are not taking me serious?" April insisted.

"Because I am not, Jackson is my little brother. I am just filling the big sister role here and trying to help him from getting traumatized by your antics."

"But you are not…" Kepner started incredulously.

"What? You thought I was his girlfriend? Is it because I am not black?"

"That and the fact that you are also not a Webber?"

"Different fathers, same mother. I am totally considering cutting you off my cases now. I am slightly impressed though, you got them really scared. It's actually fun to watch!" Meredith said smirking.

"What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean! You want them in your hand…"

""I am so sorry Dr. Grey, this was an unfortunate misunderstanding... But still it's not that professional to be acting like that inside the hospital. Even if he is your brother, this is still very inappropriate..." Kepner continued. "And you might be my boss but I am your brother's resident, who has the task of handling him and his other classmates. What do you think will happen when the others get aware of his history in this hospital?"

"They will handle it, my sister and I have gone through the same thing and we are still alive... The good ones won't see that as a problem, the others who just whine and are expecting a free ride, will moan and complain about it. For goodness sake, let him prove himself first."

"I will Dr. Grey, I just sincerely hope you and your family won't interfere in his work..."

"We won't Kepner. Anyway where are the interns? I need two of them to assist me in the ER tomorrow morning." Meredith ordered.

"If you want those witless dummies, you can have them. Hell, you can have them all Dr. Grey, just not your brother."

"You do have an attitude, has nobody told you that yet?" In 5 years as an attending Meredith never had someone talk in that manner to her. "You are awfully rude, send me whomever you have."

"I will send Yang and O'Malley your way."

"Fine, I appreciate it." Meredith said departing.

* * *

Soon it was 15h50 and Derek headed to Meredith's office, which was one floor below his in the general surgery department. As soon as he got there he thought that she might be waiting for him in the lobby, the blinds were shut and there seemed to be no light on. He was just going to try to open the door to confirm that it was closed, when it unexpectedly opened revealing a half naked Meredith, changing to her street clothes. Derek just stood there frozen without being able to look away from Meredith's matching black underwear.

"Either come in or get out! Someone might see me and I am neither a stripper nor a show off." Derek realized that the door was open and anyone that was passing by the corridor at the moment could take a glimpse at Meredith's body, Derek got in without any hesitation once he came down to earth.

"I am sorry, I thought you weren't here." Derek said turning his back to Meredith in order to give her some privacy to get dressed.

"It's ok if it were only you, it's not exactly something you have never seen yourself but you could at least close the door and not wait 2 minutes until you did that." Meredith wasn't upset with it, she had always been comfortable with herself and what happened hadn't been a big deal, at least she still had her underwear on.

"Yeah, well you know, it has been some years since I have last seen so much skin of your body at once."

"See it as my apology gift for you after how badly I behaved today." Meredith said, joking.

"I haven't looked at you in that way since before Michael's birth, hell I bet since Michael's conception... Honestly Mer you still look like 20 years old. Totally mesmerizing." Derek told her exactly what was going through his mind.

"You will be thinking about it when you get into bed tonight, won't you?" Meredith couldn't help but asking, she missed flirting with Derek and having this kind of talk with him. "You can turn back now, I am fully clothed."

Derek moved his body to the opposite direction and saw Meredith now with the white sweater and jeans she had on this morning.

"This topic is bad, seriously bad." Derek warned Meredith, after feeling his body reacting.

"Oh god, little Derek misses me!" Meredith was surprised by Derek's body reaction to her. Derek unexpectedly tried to cover his nether regions.

"I am sorry Meredith!" Derek apologized.

"Are you? You changed a lot if you feel the need to apologize for a hard on, you know I always took that as a compliment... And that hasn't changed. I am glad you can appreciate the sight of my body like nothing has changed, it's quite refreshing actually." Meredith was comfortable in telling Derek the truth, she had nothing to hide or to be ashamed of.

"I encountered Jackson before I came to my office, he told me about your cry for help. Are you sure that is the way to go? To ask for the help of first day, brand new interns?" Meredith asked trying to change the topic given Derek's embarrassment.

"They won't be doing anything unsupervised, I just hope it helps to have other 20 brilliant minds trying to come up with a solution."

"I hope so too. Is it a tough case?" Meredith asked as they descended to go to the hospital parking lot.

"Kind of. It's a 15 year old girl, totally obnoxious, all she talks about is pageants and beauty contests and nothing else..."

"And are you sure you want to save her life?" Meredith joked.

"It's not like I have an option. She is a superficial, shallow girl but I have hope that she gets the opportunity to change into a better person." Derek gave Meredith a smile.

"You and your faith on others. Will that ever change?" Meredith questioned.

"I hope not, my future happiness depends on that. Hope is the thing nobody will ever take away from me." Derek told his ex-wife.

"Derek, what are you talking about right now?" Meredith asked afraid of what she might hear.

"Just... Every damn thing in my life. Everything seems out of place." Derek said and she realized Meredith was looking at him carefully. "Don't over think it, it's not just about you and me..."

"Derek..." Meredith started.

"I know it Mer, you don't have to say anything." Derek said as he got himself inside the car.

"I still have hope too…" Meredith muttered to herself silently, then deciding to get inside the car and change the topic for both of their sakes.

 **Am I forgiven, guys?**

 **I hope you liked it :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey people! How is everything going? I hope you are all good and still interested in this story, I just realized I am stretching the first day of being back to Seattle Grace for some chapters now, I apologize for it, next chapter will be the end of the first day and I hope to get things to move along at a quicker pace. This chapter is all about Meredith and Derek and their family, I hope you enjoy it!**

The ride to Michael's school was a short one, still it gave Meredith and Derek some needed time to discuss their plans about Michael's time after school.

"Did you read the leaflet that the school sent?" Meredith asked Derek.

"About the extracurricular activities? Yes, I did take a glimpse on it this morning when you were getting Michael's backpack ."

"So what do you think?"

"Bailey told me her son had boy scouts after school. I always wanted to be a scout when I was younger." Derek said to Meredith.

"Boys scout… I am not sure that is the way to go. Michael has never been the outdoor type."

"This gives him a chance to start liking it, he will be surrounded by kids his own age." Derek continued.

"Don't they go in trips from time to time?" Meredith questioned.

"I think they do. I would accompany him on those trips." Derek was trying his hardest to persuade Meredith.

"I don't really like the idea of my son being far from me. Besides you can't make plans when you work at the hospital, anytime an emergency might come in that will blow up your plans." Meredith continued. "I think a team sport would be more appropriate."

"I can see your point, I just wanted to do something with him from time to time. What about guitar lessons?"

"I actually like that idea, you can help him with that and it is more predictable, time concerning. That is definitely a good idea..." Meredith was satisfied with Derek's second suggestion. "That will occupy him for 2 days a week, we need to choose a language for him to learn. Since you chose guitar lessons, I want him to take up swimming lessons too."

"I am fine with it. The school offers German, French and Spanish lessons. I know a bit of Spanish. Tu eres muy guapa (You are very beautiful)." Derek said with a funny accent, Meredith rolled her eyes choosing to ignore it.

"German would be cool but then he might want to move to Europe or something, the same goes with French. With Spanish, we could help him with the chores, if he ever needs any help." Derek nodded, agreeing with his ex-wife. "Spanish it is then."

"Yeah, that was a fairly easy decision." Derek agreed.

As soon as Derek and Meredith entered the school to get Michael, the bell rang, they saw the older kids running excitedly to get to their waiting parents at the school's entrance. Michael's classroom was, thankfully, in the lower ground, there were children coming from everywhere and the main hallway was a complete chaos, Derek took Meredith's hand to guide her to classroom number 3.

"Good afternoon. May we come in?" Derek asked as he peeked inside the open classroom.

"Come in please!" Meredith and Derek saw the teacher near some parents that came to pick their own children, they motioned towards them.

"Good afternoon." Meredith greeted them, she could not see the blonde head of their son inside the classroom nor any other kid for that matter, only a couple of what she guessed were twins near their parents.

"Good afternoon! Well we must be going! We'll see you tomorrow." The parents left with the 2 children by their hand.

"Hello Mrs. Thompson!" Derek smiled before proceeding to ask. "Is Michael outside?"

"Yes, he is. Today we spent the day in the playground letting the children know each other and so that they could be more comfortable near me."

"How did Michael behave?" Meredith asked.

"He is one nice boy, so polite and responsible for his age. He is a bit shy but that is to be expected in the first week."

"So everything was ok then?" Derek asked worriedly.

"For sure it was, you have a smart boy there." Molly Thompson added to the parent's happiness.

"We actually wanted to enroll him in some extracurricular activities. Can we do that with you? Or do we need to take it to the secretary?" Derek asked Mrs. Thompson.

"No, you can do it with me. I have some forms here. Which lessons is Michael going to take?"

"We read the leaflet and we decided that we wanted him to have swimming lessons and guitar classes."

"And he is going to learn Spanish as his second language." Meredith added.

"Ok! Seems like a good choice. Please fill these 3 forms , one for each activity. You'll receive the bill for the classes along with the school tuition. Can you hand me your IDs for me to photocopy them."

"They already have a copy of them in the secretary." Meredith informed the teacher.

"It's just a precaution to prove the legitimacy of the enrollment."

"Ok... Sure." Meredith took her ID out of her wallet and handed it to the waiting hand of the teacher, Derek did the same.

"I'll be back in a couple of minutes." The teacher excused herself and left the classroom.

While Meredith filled 2 forms, Derek only managed to fill the other.

"How come you get to fill them so quickly. It has quite extensive information, you didn't even need to check Michael's ID..."

"Well, I am always the one who gets to fill these forms every damn time, I have loads of practice." Meredith replied casually and then glancing at Derek's face. "C'mon, I am just stating a fact, I am not attacking you."

"It still stings a bit though."

"That is the truth Derek. It doesn't matter now though, now you are here filling these forms with me. You are here for your son, the past is written, the future is how you choose it to be."

"Yeah… You are…"

As soon as Derek was about to reply to Meredith, Michael's teacher appeared with the 2 IDs on her hand.

"Thank you Mr. Shepherd." Molly said, handing the ID to Derek. "And you Mrs. Shepherd."

"Meredith is not… We are divorced." Derek clarified.

"I am so sorry, I just read the name on the ID. You are going by your middle name then?" Molly asked Meredith while Derek stood there surprised that Meredith never took out Shepherd from her name, he glanced quickly to Meredith's ID to confirm it.

"I am Meredith, Meredith is fine." Meredith said awkwardly after realizing that Derek had found out one of her secrets.

"Ok, Meredith. I'll take the forms then. Extracurricular classes will only start next week though. So did you get to meet my sister today?" Molly asked hesitantly, oblivious of the tension in the room. "How was she?"

"She was..." Derek was about to say before Meredith interrupted him.

"We were only in the hospital half shift so we didn't get to interact that much with the interns. And we have some things planned, we have to hurry up." Meredith declared, Derek was surprised with how Meredith was acting. "Could you get Michael for us, please?"

"I'll go call Michael then." Molly left the room to get their son.

"So you are still a Shepherd then?" Derek approached the topic as soon as the teacher had left the room. "Why have you never told me?"

"It is nothing… It was just… a lot of paper work and then… I got pregnant and then Michael came." Meredith was trying her hardest to find a plausible reason for Derek to believe in her.

"Did Martin know of it? It is crazy Meredith, you have to tell me why you are still a Shepherd when you are divorced from me."

"It's nothing, besides our son is a Shepherd. Don't make a fuss out of this, please. It means nothing, it is just a damn name."

"It feels like a lot more than that. It hurts me and it messes with my head too Meredith."

"I know the feeling Derek… Believe me I know it."

"I don't doubt it but you have a boyfriend in Boston, a young boyfriend, who you have been with for a couple of years. It's not right for you to keep my name when you are no longer mine."

"Give me a break, will you?" Meredith complained annoyed that she was being grilled over her last name.

"Why are you behaving like this?" Derek asked hesitantly.

"What do you mean?" Meredith replied. "I am just being me."

"Why didn't you let me say that I met the teacher's sister?"

"Have you never been told that when you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all, besides we are going to visit Mattie, we can't waste our time discussing a witless dummy intern with her sister."

"I was the one who worked with her, not you. And witless dummy? Have you been socializing with April Kepner? Those words are so not yours, I know that for a fact."

"So what's the problem if I am having some interesting, professional conversations with another doctor of the staff. I just wish all the interns would be like Jackson, that is all."

"Well not all the other interns were lucky enough to be born from 2 great surgeons and live such a privileged life. Some come from way different, less fortunate backgrounds, cut them some slack, will you?" Derek was annoyed by the way Meredith was acting. "Are you holding a grudge against the teacher's sister because of our earlier interaction? I thought you let that one go, after all that was on me."

"Of course not, stop being silly." Meredith shrugged it off as Michael walked inside with the teacher by his side.

"The talk about your name is far from over. We will continue it later." Derek muttered as Michael approached them.

As soon as their son saw them, Michael went running to his mother to give her a tight hug. "Hey Mikey!"

"I missed you momma! I missed you so much!" Michael said as he buried his face in his mother's shoulder.

"We're here now son." After Michael let go of Meredith, he went to give a hug to Derek. "We are leaving now. Say goodbye to Mrs. Thompson."

"Bye Mrs. Thompson…" Michael did as his mother told him to.

"See you tomorrow Michael!" Molly said, watching the little family leave, each of the parents holding a hand of their son. "Have a nice evening!"

After getting settled inside the car, Meredith decided to inquire about Michael's day

"So Michael, did you meet lots of friends today?" Meredith started.

"Yes, we played soccer all together in the break time, there was this boy Joe, he fell and bloodied his knee, everyone was disgusted by it except me, they told me how brave I was after I put a tissue to stop the bleeding." Michael said proudly.

"Really Mike?" Derek smiled with pride in his face.

"Yes daddy. I told them you and mommy did surgeries way worse than that scratch in Joe's knee and that I used to see them sometimes."

"You are quite a show off, little trouble maker!" Meredith added.

"Which girl were you trying to impress?" Derek asked.

"No one, girls are weird. There was Jessica who kept crying for her mother all day long and Julie who brought to school 5 different dolls, they kept talking in these funny voices and pretending to drink invisible tea." Michael explained with a confused face. "They are so strange…"

"I have to agree with you on that one…" Derek agreed chuckling.

"Mikey, baby, you know mommy is a girl right?" Meredith asked.

"You are a big girl, big girls are different, mommy. And you are a girl doctor, your brain is super smart." Michael stated. "The other girls don't have anything inside their brains."

"Please son, don't ever tell that to a girl you like…" Derek intervened, surprised by his son's dialogue. "It won't be a smart move."

"I like mommy and I am telling it to her." Michael protested. "I think I only like mommy though."

"Mommy loves you too baby"" Meredith said. "But you like granny too, and aunt Maggie…"

"Yes, I like them a lot and they are very pretty but Martin says you are the most beautiful girl in the world. He is my best friend and I agree with him. Don't you agree with me Martin and me, daddy?"

"Of course Michael, your mother is the most beautiful woman in the world." Derek said with certainty, trying to pretend he wasn't uncomfortable with Martin being brought to the conversation.

"Mommy will get cocky, if you keep it going." Meredith said, ruffling her son's blonde curls. "I just hope you keep that speech once you reach 14 years old."

"I will… I promise mommy."

"Don't make promises you won't be able to keep bud." Derek said making Michael confused. "I was a boy once too, and the teenager I became was nothing like the boy I used to be…"

"Daddy, why weren't you the teenager like you were the boy?" Michael asked without understanding what his father was talking about.

"You will see in a few years, kiddo." Meredith just smiled as Derek talked. "You might not love mommy once she doesn't let you go out every night."

"I will always love mommy, just like you love mommy." Michael said ignoring what his father said as he didn't understand the meaning of his words, leaving both their parents startled by his words. "Don't you daddy?"

"I do love mommy!"

"I knew it. Uncle Jackson told me you loved mommy and mommy loved you a lot."

"We love each other because we had you and your sister together." Meredith explained to her child, leaving Michael content.

"So who wants ice-cream?" Derek interrupted, trying to get his kid to focus in another topic as Derek found an empty space to park his car near the park.

"I want a chocolate sundae."

"Sounds good but only if you give mommy a kiss with a chocolate moustache." Derek proposed with an evil grin.

"Daddy, you are so funny. Mommy is right here, she will know when I attack her with a super sweet kiss."

"Mommy will take all your sweet kisses son… But since daddy gave the idea, he deserves one first. Ok?"

"It's a deal mommy." Michal grinned to his father as Meredith winked at Derek.


	17. Chapter 17

**Hi good people! I am sorry for not finishing the first day of Meredith and Derek back to work as I had promised in the previous chapter, I tried and that was why I didn't update last week because I wanted to update it all in a bigger chapter but unfortunately I failed :( Well, anyway I am updating now this chapter and I hope you like it. I intend to make it up to you with another chapter sooner rather than later. I hope you are all well.**

After spending half an hour in the park with Michael, Meredith and Derek went to go see their other child.

It was the first time Derek had been at the Roseridge Clinic, Meredith had been the one who had picked that clinic amongst the others available at Seattle to take care of their daughter. Meredith, Derek and Michael entered the big building with white walls and found a middle aged woman with a warm expression who sat behind the reception desk, as soon as she noticed them, she gave them a smile.

"Good afternoon!" Derek and Meredith said in unison, the woman had a tag in her blue blouse which read Susan Grey. That was an odd thing, Meredith thought, she had never met another person named Grey in Seattle before moving to Boston, and now that she was back she had already met 2 other women with the same last name as her.

"Hello, I am Susan! How may I help you?"

"We came to see our daughter, she was transported from Boston today." Derek was the one who spoke. "Her name is Matilda Shepherd."

"Ok, just wait a second for me to contact the director." Susan went to the little office behind the entrance and 4 minutes after came carrying some papers. "I am now aware of the case, I just need to check your IDs. Somehow you forgot to sign the list of allowed guests to Matilda's room, we need to check your identification and sort through who you allow to enter her room. Please I need both of your IDs."

"Mike, why don't you go start reading the book you got Mattie in those chairs right there until dad and I are ready to go to your sister's room." Meredith suggested as she realized it might take more than a couple minutes to fill out all the paperwork. "We'll keep a look on you, we will be right here."

"Make it quick please, I miss Mattie a lot." Michael said impatiently.

"We will be as fast as possible. Soon you will get to see your sister. C'mon we are right here." Derek encouraged Michael to go sit in the waiting room, in which there was a TV and where he could get distracted.

"You have a handsome boy there. How old is he?" The secretary asked as she looked to the boy leaving the main entrance.

"He is 6, just started elementary school today actually. It feels like everything is going too fast." Derek said happily, remembering Michael's birth.

"Time flies with children… Soon he will be entering university." Susan responded.

"Could we please go through the papers already? I am sorry, but we are here to visit our daughter not for social time." Meredith said abruptly.

"Sure thing. I will get to it immediately. Your IDs please then." Susan asked again, not changing in her demeanor even though being somewhat told off by Meredith.

Derek went to his jeans back pocket and took out his black leather wallet, promptly handing the ID to the secretary.

"Here it is." Derek then looked to Meredith, who made no move to take hers out.

"Thank you! I need yours too, ma'am." Susan went to check Derek's ID when he noticed Meredith finally reluctantly taking out hers from inside the wallet inside her handbag, just like she had done in the classroom with the teacher. Meredith put it in front of her on top of the desk, not looking at Derek as if he still didn't know about her full name. It came out as a surprise when he found out Meredith Ellis Grey Shepherd was still her name a while earlier, how come she was still a Shepherd? Derek was puzzled but kept his thoughts to himself, wanting to discuss them later when they wouldn't have a stranger listening to their conversation and their son feet away. Meredith knew that Derek wanted to have a serious discussion about it as she looked petrified and was acting nervously, expecting a bomb to burst at any second.

"Thank you Mrs. Shepherd." Susan said after reading Meredith's ID, making it worse. "I'll just photocopy your IDs and I'll be right back. If you could in the meantime, write which people you want to allow inside Matilda's room. Here is the form."

"So do you want to write it or should I, Mrs. Shepherd?" Derek asked after the silence fell between them two.

"Go ahead Derek." Meredith said, pretending to ignore Derek's way of referring to her.

"Of course Meredith."

"Just write my siblings and my parents name."

"What about my mother and my sisters? What if they want to come visit Mattie? They shouldn't need us to come by their side.

"Just write relatives from the mother and the father."

"That is too generic. We have to write specific names." Derek informed his ex-wife. "It's here specifically written."

"Ok, get to it then." Meredith said impatiently.

"Why were you so mean to the secretary? You are really unpleasant to people today. I should be the one like that, shouldn't I Mrs. Shepherd?" Derek continued

"Stop please, don't push me Derek."

"I'll stop Meredith, at least for the sake of our children, I don't want to fight you." Derek said while writing the names of their closest relatives and showing it to Meredith after finishing it. "Do you remember anyone else?"

"No, just family that is enough. All the other people should come accompanied by us."

"Have you finished completing the paperwork?" Susan asked when she approached the reception desk, with the same niceness that she had when they first entered the clinic which seemed to make Meredith feel worse with her attitude.

"Yes, we are done." Derek said.

"Ok, then Matilda's room is 1.23, the first hall around the corner you turn right and then you should see the patient's wing."

"Thank you Mrs. Grey." Meredith said making her best efforts to smile to the older woman, receiving a warm smile back.

While Meredith and Derek were leaving, Susan just couldn't stop her mind from thinking that that blonde woman could be the firstborn of her husband. The estranged daughter Thatcher hadn't seen since she was a little girl still in kindergarten. She was puzzled when she read her full name and noticed Grey in it, besides her name was Meredith and she looked a lot like Thatcher's sister when she was younger. If she was in fact her step-daughter than that meant that not only Thatcher was a grandfather of 1, he was of 2 more children, 1 of those who was bedridden in a prolonged vegetative state. She knew that she had to inform her husband of it as soon as she would get home.

In a bed with white sheets and a light blue cover stood on top of it a small child, her frame was too tiny for her age, as she was almost 10 years old. Her hair was the same shade as her mother, straight opposed to the curlier hair of her brother. Her eyes were hidden behind her closed eyelids but both her parents remembered the brightness in them, the lively blue that she inherited from her father. Her face was pale due to the lack of direct sun exposure.

Her brother, as soon as the girl's family entered the room, climbed on top of the bed and gave a sloppy loud kiss to the girl's forehead.

"Matty, I missed you!" The little boy gave a tight embrace, trying to envelope his sister's unresponsive body in his little arms as best as possible, getting no response from her but continuing as if she was an active participant in their meeting.

The parents smiled with the proof of love that their son had for his sister, the sister he never knew, with exception of her emotionless body. Meredith passed a hand through her daughter's head and kissed it as well, sitting in Michael's side of the bed. Derek went to the other side of the bed to get a hold of his daughter's hand to kiss it and just keep it a safe prisoner in his bigger hand. They stood in silence for a minute until Meredith asked her son to tell Mattie all about his day of school.

That took one hour of Michael telling all the stories of his classmates, with his parents asking questions in the middle, for instance if he liked the lady who took care of them in the playground or which boys were on his soccer team.

Meredith and Derek joined too, telling a short version of their first day at the hospital. Outside the sun had long started to disappear and the darkness of the night was taking away all the rays of looked at her watch and frowned, grabbing her phone from inside her jeans and realizing she had 3 unanswered phone calls, all from Martin and a text message asking her to call him as soon as possible.

"We got to go now, Mikey!" Meredith said to her son as he was in the middle of storytelling.

"But I am still in the middle of my story... Mommy..." Michael stubbornly complained.

"Tomorrow is another day, you can ask uncle Jackson to take you to see Mattie and to finish your story." The boy continued pleading with his blue eyes to his mother. "C'mon don't give me that look, your grandparents are waiting for us."

"It's still early..." Michael continued.

"No, it's already late, you should be sleeping by nine and it's already close to half past seven and you haven't eaten your dinner. We are going to my parents house for dinner tonight." Meredith said, informing Derek of their plans, thinking that he wasn't in the know.

"Well, I already..."

"Is daddy coming too? He is, isn't he?" Michael asked anxiously.

"Bud, it's not our house, we only get to invite other people to our house." Meredith said to her son.

"Actually Mer, your mother asked me to come, I was going to run that by you first but I just forgot about it completely." Derek's words left Meredith surprised, she wasn't expecting it.

"If daddy was invited that means he can come… I am so happy for it." Michael exhaled excitedly.

"Is it ok with you Mer?" Derek asked hopefully trying to get Meredith's agreement to it, before giving an answer to their son.

"You were the one invited by my parents that means you are the one to decide whether you are coming or not." Meredith answered Derek. "Please come if you want to. Like I said it's not my house anymore, if you were invited, it's because my parents want you to come. I don't enter the equation in this matter."

"Is daddy coming then?" Michael asked again persistently.

"Yes, I am coming son." Derek smiled to Michael and noticed Meredith looking thoughtful.

The family of three headed to the big brownstone house with a couple of fancy expensive cars parked in the driveway. The garden was impeccable, Meredith knew how her mother liked things to be always perfect for the others to admire them, like she wanted Meredith to get together with Derek again, as if she hadn't got divorced from her first husband too, who was Meredith's biological father, not everything was as perfect as Ellis wanted to make them look.

Meredith always felt the outsider in the family, she used to wish to be Richard's real daughter so badly, to have a darker shade of skin tone, to have curly black hair like her siblings, instead she had the blonde hair of her mother and everyone knew that Richard wasn't her real father even though Meredith never called him anything other than dad.

Ellis loved Richard so badly, Meredith knew well that strong love because she had herself only felt like that for a guy. It seemed weird that in the beginning Ellis Grey had been against Derek and Meredith together. Meredith felt like her parents loved Derek more than the love they had for her.

When they got out of the car, they felt how chilly the air had gotten, the temperature had dropped as the night fell. Derek took out a jumper, he had in his car, to put it on Michael as he noticed the little boy shivering.

"Where did you leave the coat you took to class this morning Mike?" Meredith asked as she rolled the sleeves of Derek's jumper so that Michael's hands could come out of the sleeves.

"I put it in the clothes hanger of the classroom. That is where Mrs. Thompson told us to put them." Michael said.

"Ok, but you are supposed to bring it back to our home after school. If daddy weren't here, I wouldn't have a way to protect you from the cold and you might get sick." Meredith lectured her son.

"I am sorry mommy!"

"It's ok, son! Dad is here and tomorrow the coat will be there. Are you hungry?" Derek asked Michael.

"I am really hungry." Michael informed them.

"Then let's come inside and eat. Soon it will be time to go to sleep and to rest for another day to come tomorrow." Meredith said as they neared the main entrance to knock on the door and encounter a delicious smell of food, warmth and family love.


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello! I was supposed to update this chapter sooner but I never got to it, work has been incredibly busy and my personal life too. I am sorry. I hope you all have a good week. Thank you for all the reviews, you are all fantastic people and I am grateful for every single person who reads this story. Have fun and thank you again for being so nice.**

Michael was occupied coloring in the coffee table, meanwhile the adults with the exception of Richard, Ellis and Meredith, who were getting the dinner ready, sat in the big lounge black leather sofa in the living room.

"So Derek tell me, how did it go today with the kid that was flown by helicopter?" Maggie asked.

"Yeah, the hospital medical mystery... I want to know about that. No better thing to build an appetite than some medicine before the meal." Alex showed enthusiasm in the topic.

"The girl has these seizures that seem to come from nowhere."

"No plausible cause? That is the case which Jackson was attending, right?" Maggie asked. "He told he had this case which all the interns were trying to come up with the diagnosis. He just didn't mention..."

"He just forgot to say that I was the attending on the case?" Derek wasn't surprised about that, he knew that Jackson was slightly upset that Derek just stood and watch April Kepner humiliating him.

"He told me that you were the lead on his case. Don't play the offended lover when you know well that Jackson loves you more than Meredith ever did." Alex said joking. "I should be jealous or something, he loves you more than me and you are not even married to his sister anymore."

"You are totally Jackson's bestie, Derek." Maggie agreed.

"Who is whose bestie?" Ellis asked, appearing out of nowhere.

"Derek is Jackson's best friend." Alex declared.

"I already knew that." Ellis shrugged it off. "Derek, can you come with me please?"

"Yes, sure Ellis." Derek stood up.

"Can I come too?" Michael said, getting everyone's attention.

"Of course Mikey." Derek answered his son impulsively.

"What about we? We are also visitors of the house, you can't leave us alone by ourselves in here." Maggie said, pretending to be offended.

"Better thinking Michael, why don't you stay with your aunt and uncle and entertain them, your dad and I will be back in a couple of minutes." Ellis suggested to her grandson, Maggie knew that whatever Ellis intended to discuss with Derek was important, she didn't miss the nervousness in her mother's actions. "We are going to be right back."

"Mike, stay with me and uncle Alex, we will play cards and you know how bad uncle Alex is, I might fall asleep if I only play with him."

"C'mon I am not that bad..." Alex laughed it off. "Board games are just not my cup of tea. We could instead play in Jackson's old PlayStation."

"Can we play it instead aunt Maggie?" Michael pleaded.

"Let's play in the ancient PlayStation then." Maggie faked enthusiasm. "I will go connect it to the TV."

"Good, Michael, keep those two occupied. We will be right back." Ellis smiled gratefully to her daughter, appreciating how she got Michael to stay with them.

Derek and Ellis went to Ellis's office and she closed the door right behind them.

"Is everything ok, Ellis? You seem off, nothing like you looked like earlier today." Derek asked concerned.

"Something happened today, Derek. Something unexpected that I hadn't thought in ages, after all it was in the past and why would I worry with something that didn't have any effect in our present lives." Ellis started.

"What's going on? You are freaking me out."

"Thatcher is back in our lives..." Ellis blurted out.

"Who is Thatcher? Ohhh Meredith's biological father." Derek realized.

"That one exactly! His dna right in Seattle Grace, it went right under my nose. I never expected something like this to happen and take me by surprise, I am the chief of surgery for god's sake."

"Meredith is in hospital… Well she is his dna, I am not understanding…Spit it out Ellis!" Derek demanded confused.

"Alexandra Grey happens to be Thatcher's daughter. She is..." After a pause, Ellis finally declared what was troubling her.

"An intern… I know the girl, I have met her today..." Derek said perplexed thinking of all the ramifications of that discovery. "Oh my god! She is the teacher's sister..."

"Whose teacher?"

"Michael's teacher. She told Meredith and I that her sister was an intern at Seatle Grace."

"Oh my god… This is so not happening to us right now." Ellis exasperated loudly, sitting on the chair near her desk.

"There is no damage control to be done here, Meredith must know about this as soon as possible." Derek affirmed resolutely.

"I haven't even told Richard about this. I need a day to sort this through and think about this situation clearly."

"Did you know that Thatcher had another family?" Derek asked, pretending not to have heard what Ellis had just said.

"No! I haven't heard of him in ages… And now he is back to ruin our lives… I need time to process this…"

"Ok, you have a day to think about this situation. But tomorrow you got to tell her, she needs to know." Derek stated strongly.

"I know she does. It just that Thatcher shouldn't be back on her life, on our lives, Richard is her true father. This will hurt both Meredith and Richard too, it will have an impact in all my family... In our family, Derek!"

"That man was part of your life and without him, Meredith wouldn't be here. She isn't a child Ellis, she has gone through Mattie's condition and she is still alive breathing, even though we all fell apart… Just give her some credit Ellis, she is a strong woman."

"Derek, I know my daughter and I know her well. I know she will be ok eventually but still it would bring back memories of a life I don't want her to remember. A time in which all I did was work in order to try to avoid the apathy I felt near Thatcher, I wasn't there for her, Thatcher took care of Meredith all by himself while I stayed at work to live my affair with Richard and be in complete bliss, which was the opposite of what I felt with Thatcher."

"That was a long time ago, you are not the same woman you used to be! You are a great mother to her now and she loves Richard. Meredith won't ever forget about him and stop loving him but she deserves to know about her other family, especially because I am pretty sure that she hates the girl right now."

"What happened between them?" Ellis asked curiously.

"Just some unfortunate, unplanned situation." Derek stated.

"Just like their biological relation to each other then…"

"They haven't worked together yet, but I think Meredith should know about it before that."

"She deserves to know as soon as possible, you are right Derek." Ellis put a thoughtful face and then asked. "How was the girl?"

"Lexie Grey?"

"Lexie?"

"That is how she wants to be called..."

"Right..." Ellis threw a suspicious glance at Derek.

"She is alright, a bit of a a nervous talker. She just delivered some exams for me, nothing more. I still haven't seen her in action."

"So you were telling me that that Lexie girl hasn't worked with Meredith yet but Meredith already dislikes the girl... How come did that happen?"

"Meredith saw Lexie interacting with me and there was a misunderstanding involved and..."

"And Meredith got jealous, am I right?" Ellis declared, not really needing the nod of confirmation from Derek. "Meredith is really possessive, she takes that after me."

"Well, I am not hers anymore." Derek said sadly. "And Meredith is not mine either. Besides what Mer witnessed was just a joke poorly planned."

"C'mon Derek, you still consider Meredith yours and I bet you'd give everything for it to happen again." Derek looked at Ellis questioning her sentence. "For you two to be a couple again."

"I would, you know I would. But there is Martin and a whole ocean under our relationship, it's like a sunk ship."

"But you were the greatest, your love was immense, you were extraordinary, you had this beautiful daughter, you had success and a whole..." Ellis declared trying to get Derek more committed to getting Meredith back.

"We were Titanic, we were grand and glorious, and we sunk..." Derek said sadly.

"You are soul mates, you are destined to be. Shut up with Titanic, you are not fatal…"

"I heard a phone call between Meredith and Martin today..." Derek confessed, making Ellis become surprised with Derek's statement. "It wasn't on purpose, I just happened to be near the place in which she was talking with him... I wasn't spying on her or anything."

"I believe you Derek! I know you well." Ellis smiled. "So what did you witness?"

"Ellis, tell me the truth, did you turn down Martin candidature to the program?"

"I… did. Well, I am not part of the process who chooses which residents and interns we pick to teach. If had, I would never let Lexie Grey be accepted but with Martin, it was diferent. Dr. Margaret Goodwin, his mother, called to let me know that his son wanted a transfer and instead of making it easy for him as I said to his mother, I made it impossible."

"You lied to Meredith about it?" Derek asked astonished.

"I did, and I think I had all the right to do it. I don't want to see my daughter with him."

"You don't get to play God here, Ellis. Meredith is a grown woman. Would you rather if she left Seattle to be with him in Boston? To leave us all?"

"She moved here without him because she knew what was important. Her family was here and you would return to Seattle, there was no point in her staying any longer in Boston."

"What if she decides to leave if she realizes Martin is more important to her than all of this? Than all of us? And if she does, she would take our children with her." Derek asked Ellis, sharing the thoughts that were inside his head for a long time, troubling his thoughts.

Ellis never got to answer Derek's question as suddenly they heard footsteps and soon afterwards there was Meredith entering Ellis study room.

"Hey, dinner is ready." Meredith announced smiling happily with Michael by her side. "Why is everyone so dead serious?" Meredith asked casually.

"Nothing dear, Derek was just upset that he didn't make it to Maggie's wedding, I have just shown him the photos." Ellis lied to her daughter.

"Aunt Maggie was really pretty, daddy." Michael informed his father. "And mommy too."

"What about me, Mikey?" Ellis asked with a hurt tone in her voice.

"You were beautiful too, Granny." Michael said smiling.

"Well, that's a good thing because I happen to have gotten your favorite dessert for tonight."

"Chocolate cake?" Michael asked excitedly.

"With ice-cream to put on the side, and nuts on the top." Ellis said kissing his grandson.

"Good lord mom, do you want to get us all overweight? Alex is starting to get a little belly, I think he might be expecting." Meredith said loudly as they entered the living room where the rest of the adults were.

"I heard that Meredith, besides I am fit as a board. Maggie is proof of that." Alex responded, pretending to be upset. "You find me hot, don't you babe?"

"You had better days… I can see Mer's point actually." Maggie said with a serious face. " Don't worry I will get you a gym entry for next Christmas"

"You aren't supposed to tell uncle Alex about his present for Christmas…" Michael said innocently. "What will it be mine?"

"We still have 4 months to get there bud, it's a secret anyway, just like you said." Alex answered Michael. "Mine will be better than a gym entry kiddo. Don't worry about it… They are just making fun of me, you got to be on my team Mike."

"I am on your team uncle Alex…"

"What about me? You are my son, you have to be on my team…" Derek complained.

"It's a boys team daddy. You are included too…" Michael reassured Derek. "And grandpa too."

"Did I hear my favorite grandson speaking about me?" Richard asked appearing from the kitchen. "Dinner is ready. We must eat before it gets cold."

"Right about time, I am famished…" Maggie commented. "It's smelling really good."

"Then let's go." Ellis addressed the family to follow her to the dining room.

The dinner passed quickly, it was a good family reunion, full of laughs and smiles, a lot of talking. Michael told the family all about his day, then the adults talked about medicine a bit and the dinner ended with Jackson's first day as an intern topic. Soon it was close to 9 p.m. and the dishes were packed in the washing machine, the leftovers hidden inside the fridge and the table all cleared.

"So do you mind if Michael stays in the night? He is pretty worn out." Ellis asked Meredith as they cleared the dining table. After dinner, while the adults drank coffee, Michael went to the sofa and feel asleep there, it wasn't even 9 p.m yet."Maybe you should stay here too, in your old bedroom."

"We don't have any clean clothes here. He needs to take a bath first too." Meredith affirmed.

"Two months ago when you stayed here for Maggie's wedding, you left some clothes to be washed and you forgot about them. They are neatly packed inside of your childhood bedroom."

"We have towels and shampoo and soap, and whatever else you might need. Stay here tonight Meredith." Richard came to the hall to take part in the conversation. "We miss you kid."

"I miss you too dad." Meredith smiled and embraced Richard. Ellis felt herself tearing up as she saw the affection Richard and Meredith had for each other even though not being biologically related, her head was tormented with the thoughts of Thatcher appearing in the picture and stealing Richard from his true position, which was the true father of Meredith.

"I missed you too dad." Meredith said.

"Now I am feeling jealous..." Ellis joked, trying to pretend that she wasn't close to tearing up.

Meredith then took an arm out of the hug she was sharing with her father and opened it so that her mother could join them.

Suddenly Maggie and Alex appeared from the living room.

"Damn, I want an hug too. Why wasn't I invited?" Maggie asked playfully and making them part.

"You are always invited to all my hugs little sister."

"I hope you are not talking seriously because I don't want my wife in threesomes with you and your conquests..." Alex laughed out loudly.

"Alex, you are being so inappropriate..." Meredith pointed out, cracking up quietly. "But I missed your inappropriateness…"

"Alex is being Alex, besides today was a bit over the top for him…" Maggie observed.

"He is so tipsy... I saw him drinking 4 glasses of red wine, with the whisky and now he is being childish." Meredith stated. "That is so Alex."

"He hasn't drunk anything other than a beer every weekend, he might have lost his resistance to alcohol." Maggie informed them. "We are leaving now… Thank god, I am sober…"

"You could always stay with us too. We love having our daughters stay in the night." Richard told them.

"No but thanks dad! We are leaving now, c'mon Alex let's go."

Maggie and Alex hugged everyone goodbye and then left with Maggie grabbing Alex's arm for him to get to the car with her.

"Meredith?" Derek asked coming from the living room, and joining Richard, Ellis and Meredith in the hall, who were still discussing Meredith's and Michael's plans for the night.

"It's just for a night, nothing more. Besides this is not a new home to him, this used to be your own home Meredith." Ellis was trying to persuade Meredith.

"You know mom, just because it used to be, doesn't mean it should continue to be. Some things are supposed to be stuck in the past."

"What is going on?" Derek asked oblivious of what was going on.

"We are trying to get Meredith to stay here for the night with Michael." Richard told Derek as Ellis continued to try to convince Meredith to stay.

"You lived here until you were 18 Meredith, you loved it here... But this isn't about Michael staying the night, it's about me inviting Derek to come to dinner" Ellis concluded. "You don't want to stay because that took you by surprise."

"It's so not about that… I am fine with Derek coming for dinner, I clarified I was OK with it… It's not about that."

"You should all stay. Derek, you should stay in the guest room, you drank a bit too, it's best if you don't drive." Richard observed. "End of discussion, you are all staying…"

"C'mon dad…" Meredith was about to say.

"Go get your son upstairs, he needs to go to bed now." Richard ended the impasse.

"I am a grown woman…"

"Do as your father says Meredith." Ellis told her daughter.

"Let's go get Michael ready for bed." Derek suggested. "Let's go, together."

"Ok, you are right. Let's go then." Meredith finally caved in and followed Derek to get Michael.

"I love how they all listen to you." Ellis beamed at Richard. "They all do as you say."

"I am her dad, of course she will listen to me. She listens to you too, love, she just needs a firmer pulse sometimes, Meredith's head is a bit cloudy sometimes."

"You are so right! I love you Richard…" Ellis said, embracing her husband.

"I love you too, honey…" Richard said as they heard Meredith, Derek and Michael going up the stairs.

"I have something to tell you, Richard." Ellis finally decided this was the right time to tell her husband about today's situation. "Thatcher is back in our lives, Meredith's half sister is in the intern's class of this year…"

"I will be damned… It's not something we can't deal with. Everything will be ok... Meredith still doesn't know about it." Richard affirmed rather than asking, as Ellis nodded to it. "We must go your office to get more privacy, they might come down suddenly."

"Let's go." Ellis agreed but soon asked. "You are ok with it?"

"Meredith is my daughter, that is all that matters to me… Everything will be fine, no one will part our family, especially not a ghost from the past." Richard offered his hand to Ellis and they both left to go discuss the issue more properly.


	19. Chapter 19

**Hi guys! My life is chaotic right now, but kind of good chaotic lol, but it truly makes me feel so bad for not updating more though. Well here is another chapter, I hope you enjoy it and that everything is going good with you all in your lives. Thanks for all the reviews, I love to hear your opinion about the story. Have fun!**

Derek held Michael in his arms as if he was still a baby, Michael blonde curls rested on top of Derek's shoulder, his eyes were half closed. It still melted Meredith's heart every time she saw Derek with one of their children, she remembered so vividly the first time Derek held Mattie in his arms, Mattie was such a small baby and Derek held her with such a care, that was the moment Meredith saw clearly that Derek came to this world to be a father, it tainted her heart to think that he would likely never get to have the big family he always dreamed of.

When they were still happy and together, Derek used to joke that he wanted at least 5 babies or more, to have a chaotic home life, just like the one he used to have when he was a little boy and lived with his four sisters. Meredith knew that in truth he wasn't joking, even though she would laugh with him, she knew that he just didn't want to scare Meredith by saying he wanted a house full of their children.

They reached the first floor, Meredith's old bedroom was the last in the long hallway, their parents had refurbished it, the pop band posters of Meredith's teenager years were replaced by beautiful pictures of her wedding, her children and some photos of her youth. The single bed that once occupied the middle of the room was no longer there, once Meredith graduated from high school, her mother bought her a double bed, which came in handy once Derek was finally able to stay in the night with her. The bed was a reminder of good things, Meredith was pretty sure that was where Mattie was conceived, her conception date matched with the big party her parents threw for their wedding anniversary, Meredith remembered how they left the party early claiming to be exhausted but just having an animalistic need to feel each other's skin against the other.

Meredith's thoughts were pulled away from those memories once Derek laid Michael's body on top of the bed to start to take his clothes off.

"Bud you have to sit up so that daddy can pull your clothes off. You got to go shower before bed." Derek exclaimed as he noticed Michael's sleepiness.

"I am not dirty daddy, I just want to sleep… Really badly! Can't bath be for tomorrow?" Michael pleaded, getting no response from his dad. "Mommy, please, let's just sleep now… I am so tired."

"Ok sweet pea but just tonight. Let's not make a habit out of this, we go to bed clean and washed and with our teeth brushed." Meredith told her son as she fumbled through the drawers of the dresser trying to find something for Michael to wear for bed. Meredith took out an adult baby blue t-shirt and her old jogging shorts which she put on Michael.

"Do you want to use the bathroom before bed?" Meredith asked as Derek opened the bed for Michael to enter.

"I am good! I went after dinner." Michael responded.

"Do you feel cold?" Meredith asked as she rested the covers on top of her son.

"I am really good, mommy. Can you get inside now too?" Michael pleaded. "You and daddy…"

Meredith looked at Derek and saw how much he wished to be in the bed near his son, having their family moment, but as always he left the decision to be made by Meredith.

"Derek, you should stay! you can wear this…" Meredith went back to the dresser and gave Derek one of her oversize old t-shirts and which would fit him. "I am going to the bathroom to freshen up and to change before bed."

Meredith left carrying some clothes and as soon as the door closed, he took out his shoes, his pants and his shirt, only ending up in boxers, he put on the t-shirt and slid inside the bed to meet the warmth of his child's body, who even tough extremely exhausted, now stood there watching Derek closely.

"Is everything ok, Mike? You want some warm milk?" Derek asked.

"No, I am fine daddy!"

"Then why aren't you sleeping? You can tell me what's in your mind…"

"I just wish you and mommy were like this all the time, that is all. I wanted you to live with us and Mattie to be home to play with me and not be in that bed all the time."

Derek started to tear up after hearing his son's so simple yet so complex wishes.

"I wished for it too bud. Come here." Derek reached for his son's little body and embraced it. "Let's sleep now. I am here with you and I am not leaving."

* * *

After Meredith used the bathroom and changed from her normal clothes, she went downstairs to get herself a cup of tea before bed. She knew that she had just agreed to let Derek stay in the night, possibly in the same bed as her, with their little boy in the middle, separating his divorced parents so she needed something to calm her down. She hoped that once she got to her bedroom, Derek would be asleep and all she would have to do was slid inside the warm bed.

As Meredith grabbed the pot to boil water for her chamomile tea, she heard the distinct voices of her parents.

"Ellis, you must tell her, she can't stay in the unknown for longer! She definitely needs to know about her sister."

"That girl is not..." There was sadness in her mother's voice, Meredith could notice it clearly.

"She is just as Meredith's sister as Maggie, even if you would prefer otherwise. Just because you wanted them all to disappear, doesn't mean they will. That girl is just as innocent in this as..." Richard was saying but as Meredith came out of the kitchen to meet her startled parents, he stopped mid sentence. "Meredith..."

"What is going on?" Meredith asked, already suspicious of the theme her parents were discussing after catching bits of their conversation. "Mom, what is going on?"

"Meredith, Ellis, why don't we all go to the living room, sit there for a bit... Where are Derek and Michael?" Richard asked.

"They are upstairs in my old bedroom." Meredith informed her parents, she could feel her heart beating with the anticipation of the news she was about to get told, she was trying to remain calm for everyone's sakes though. "I came to get some tea before bed... Let's go to the living room then."

As they sat, Ellis took the seat next to Richard, right in the middle of the sofa, Meredith knew that even though Ellis was a tough woman, she craved for Richard all the time, he was the one who helped keeping her mother's emotions at bay during tougher situations, Meredith took the end of the sofa, Ellis immediately put her hand on top of her daughter's leg. Richard hesitated but then stood up after throwing a reassuring look at Ellis and said.

"I am going to make something hot for us to drink, finish the tea you were about to start, Meredith. You good here?" Richard asked them both.

"Yes love!" Ellis gave her husband a little smile, which he reciprocated.

"Thanks dad! We are good here!" Meredith was grateful that Richard wouldn't be in the room for this talk, he was her true father, even though they were not related by blood, Meredith always expressed how much Richard meant to her, this conversation would be bad enough as it is, without Richard there and the silent acknowledgement that Ellis had her with another man.

"Honey..." Ellis started confidently after Richard left, but then hesitated and asked instead. "Is Derek staying the night with us?"

"I think so! He drank some wine and I think it would be stupid to let him drive after dinner, you have space here, you don't mind, right?" Meredith felt that talk made her relax more but the moment of facing the hard truth was coming, she could feel it as if it was a snow ball rolling down the hill.

"We are ok with it, Meri! We are happy for having you all with us for the night!"

"Now tell me mom, let's stop hiding the topic under the rug, what do you want to tell me?"

"Meredith when you came this morning to my office, I want you to know that I was as oblivious to the situation as you were, I didn't know about it, if I had known things would have been different, there would be no chance in hell I'd let her come work here with you, with our family..."

"Please use your words mom, as if I don't suspect what is going on, tell me who is the woman you are talking about and why you wouldn't have allowed her to come to work here." Meredith felt that there was no need to confirm it but still she wanted to hear the direct words come from her mother's mouth.

"Thatcher's daughter, your biological father's other daughter, was accepted into Seattle's Grace internship. Alexandra Grey is indeed related to you, contrary to what I had told you earlier today." Ellis said it with a quiet tone and then looked at Meredith, who remained silent and thoughtful.

"This makes a mess out of everything... For how long did you know?" Meredith finally asked.  
"I only found out after you left my office and I got to read the girl's file."

"Did you know Thatcher had other kids? Another family after us?" Meredith asked her mother. "Have you heard from him ever since the divorce?"

"No, the only time I had news from him after the divorce was when he appeared on the local newspaper after his research got to be tested on some laboratories in China, it was only that, and it was more than a decade ago."

"Oh my god... Not only have I found I get to work near one of his daughters but my son will also be taught by the other. Michael's teacher is the intern's sister so I would assume I am her sister too... Damn it..."

"Your siblings are Jackson and Maggie! Those women are nothing to you, they don't know you and you don't know them. Let's not make a case out of this, we should stay as if nothing happened, you are Richard's daughter, you don't belong to Thatcher nor to their family, you shouldn't tell them what you have found out."

"Believe me, they won't hear it from me. I don't want them to know either, mom!" Meredith exclaimed, resigned with the truth but certain that she wanted it to remain a secret."They are my sisters though, even if only biologically, just like their father is my biological father too."

"Richard is your father not... That man!" Ellis stated angrily.

"That man, who you were once married to? And who gave you, me? You know that I wouldn't be here without him, he gave me half of my genome."

"Don't put it like that, Richard made you who you are, he was there to help you when you most needed it!"

"Mom, there is no other father in my heart than my dad, I haven't thought in Thatcher for ages, he is nothing more than the man who used to pour me cereals in the morning while in kindergarten. He is a shadow compared to my true dad."

"You don't resent me, do you Meredith?" Ellis pleaded. "Please don't resent me."

"It is not your fault Michael got Molly as his teacher nor isn't your fault that Alexandra made it into the program, you told me, you didn't keep it a secret. I would have been mad if you had kept it a secret." Meredith told her mother. "I love you mother, I know how much this affects you but be sure that there is no space for Thatcher in my thoughts or in my heart for that matter."

Just as Meredith said her last sentence, Richard appeared with a tray with 3 cups of yellow tea, which he put on top of the coffee table after pushing away Michael's coloring pencils.

"Are we good here?" Richard asked as he noticed the heavy features of both his wife and his daughter. "How are my ladies holding up?"

"I am good dad!" Meredith reassured him and then glanced at her mother. "Are you good mom?"

"I am, sweetheart! Let's drink this comforting tea your father made for us."

"Dad, you know I love you, right?" Meredith asked Richard.

"There is nothing I am more certain than the love we have for each other in our family. I love you too Meredith!" Richard answered. "You know it's ok if you want to get to know them… Your sisters, it's normal for you to have curiosity about them."

"I really don't dad, for me they are only strangers. My siblings are Jackson and Maggie, the others are nothing. And you are my dad, let's stop talking about it any longer and ruin the little time we get to spend with each other."

"You are right baby girl! You know what, just yesterday I bought a packet of your favorite butter biscuits, the ones with strawberry on top…"

"That is why I love you Richard. You have some some good ideas." Ellis joked.

"Then you should get them to go with the tea for sure." Meredith suggested. "Cause there is always some space for a couple of delicious biscuits."

"I'll be right back, ladies." Richard said with a fast pace as he went to the kitchen to get it.

After finishing the tea, Meredith went back upstairs to get some sleep. When she opened the door, she saw the most heartwarming image she could think of, her son was nestled in between Derek's arm and body, both seemed sound asleep, Meredith glanced at her phone and saw 3 more unanswered calls from Martin, she would call him back first thing tomorrow, she was sure he would pissed from her avoiding him, for now she would get in bed to rest as another day would soon come.

As she got inside the bed, Derek's eyes opened and he gave her a sleepy smile as he saw her.

"Are you ok?" Derek asked quietly, having a feeling that Ellis told Meredith about her Grey sisters.

"Yes, I think I am, well not entirely, but soon I will be!" Meredith stared at Derek's blue eyes and suddenly got this urge to kiss him, if it weren't for Michael between them, she wouldn't be able to contain the feeling inside of her. "Sorry for waking you up, Derek!"

"I am the one who is sorry, you don't have to be sorry for anything at all."

"What are you talking about?" Meredith asked.

"About me questioning you for keeping my surname, it was rather aggressive of me. It's normal, you want your surname to match the one of our kids. I got to think about it while you were downstairs."

"It was not only because of our children, you were right actually." Meredith admitted. "It was also because I love being a Shepherd, it was a thing that I couldn't erase from my life. I am still holding to the name and I don't think I will drop it anytime soon, only if you ask me to."

"No, keep it. Meredith Shepherd is your name, after you married me, you stopped being a Grey, I think you never were a Grey, only at work, but outside of work, you don't need to be a Grey because the Greys were never there for you and you are definitely a Webber…"

"Derek, do you know about the intern?" Meredith asked certain that he did.

"I do, Meredith, don't stress about it! Everything will be ok! We will handle it together as a family, we are divorced but I want us to become at least friends. You were always my best friend."

"I am good with Shepherd, because of the good memories of our marriage, and you are right I don't want to have Grey as my sole surname again."

"Then you don't have to…" Derek handed Meredith his hand, which she took a hold of and squeezed.

"Did my mom tell you about it?" Meredith asked. "It's ok if she did, I know you are very wise and you can give some pretty good advice." Derek only nodded in response.

"Thank you Derek for everything! Even for being there for my mother and helping out with it."

"Mommy?" Michael mumbled opening his eyes out of a sudden. "I heard your voice."

"I am sorry bud for waking you up! Are you feeling good?" Meredith asked her son.

"I am! I love you mommy and daddy. I don't want us to be apart from each other, we have to be together like this forever."

"Yes, we do son." Derek agreed.

"We love you too Mikey! Let's sleep now."

The three of them closed their eyes and sleep overtook them as the complications of life laid forgotten to be faced the next days, but for now what only mattered was the love and union that would never leave their family, no matter what.


	20. Chapter 20

**Hello! I know it's been a little while, here is another chapter. I love every review you post, knowing all the love you have for this story is truly an amazing feeling. I love writing it for you and that you love reading it! I wish you all a good day!**

 **Have fun people!**

There was warmth near her, she could feel it, she could feel him and smell him which made her feel so hot and needy, her body kept shaking as if she was with a fever right now. There was some weight on her, that weight felt like iron on flames brazing her body, her heart was beating fast as she slowly woke up, she felt herself wet down there... And throbbing too, she knew what that feeling was, she knew it too well and only who would leave her like that, as she opened her eyes and realized that she was closer than she wished from Derek, closer than she should be from someone she got divorced from and who gave her feelings no one else managed to.

His tousled black hair was messy with wild dark curls coming from everywhere, his eyes were closed and his body... He had his two arms near her, one touching her breast and the other over her waist, that was what was making her go wild and feeling needy... Derek's aftershave was also filling her nostrils with his masculine smell. Why did she really agree to sleep with him in the first place? Michael, she reminded herself, she did it to please her little boy and to remind herself of the feeling of being in family, a thing Michael never knew as when he was born his parents were already divorced.

Her child was nowhere to be seen though, he wasn't in the room clearly and thankfully, the middle spot he was sleeping in the night before was now occupied by the strong frame of his father, she glanced at the old clock in the nightstand, it was close to 7 am, a smell from food came inside the room and that was when she noticed her bedroom door was slightly opened. She decided to get up and leave, before Derek would wake up and put them in an uncomfortable situation, she needed to shower first too, maybe a cold shower would do her good, she still was feeling on fire and due to Derek not being her firefighter anymore, she had to manage it by herself with what she had at hand, before going to meet her parents and Michael, so she headed to the bathroom first.

Once she was done and with the clothes from last night on, she went back to the bedroom and found no sign of life there, the bed was perfectly made and it seemed like no one had slept through the night in there. Clearly Derek had already left to go to the kitchen and that was where she should go too.

As Ellis was chatting quietly with Derek, both seated comfortably in the kitchen table, Michael was helping Richard making pancakes. There was already scrambled eggs in the middle of the kitchen table and toast to go with it.

"Good morning!" Meredith greeted everyone, she went to kiss her son's messy hair and then passed her fingers through it to style it with her own hands.

"Hey peanut!"

"Hi mommy!" Michael squeaked loudly not taking his eyes from the frying pan in which his grandpa was about to start making the pancakes.

"Did you sleep good, kid?" Richard asked Meredith as she went to kiss his cheek.

"Ok, I guess... How did you sleep Derek?" Meredith addressed Derek, who was still making quiet small talk with her mother.

"I slept almost all night, except I wasn't used to your snoring anymore... But the mattress is a great one and I was quite exhausted."

"Mom is like a truck..." Michael added cleverly.

"And you got that from mommy too Mikey. And Mattie did too." Ellis informed her grandson.

"I do not snore… Do I snore mommy?" Michael looked at Meredith expectantly waiting for an answer.

"You do, but only a bit, you just don't realize it because you are sleeping." Meredith answered.

"You still have a few years to beat mommy's snoring though, yours is like heaving breathing…" Derek said. "It's not a big deal, it just means you are your mother's son. You and Mattie take after her, it's like you having blonde hair like mommy's."

"Mattie doesn't snore, that is not true, if she did, I would have heard it already. She is sleeping all the time." Michael argued stubbornly. "She doesn't snore!"

All the adults in the room exchanged tense painful looks among themselves, Ellis was the one who spoke.

"Michael, you know Mattie is like sleeping beauty who was enchanted by a witch, she is not really sleeping like you and your parents did last night, she just can't really wake up either."

"But if she snored, I should have heard it... Are you sure she isn't just pretending to sleep like I do sometimes when you come get me, mommy?" Michael asked his mother.

"We are sure she isn't pretending Michael..." Meredith stated sadly. "You know you have to get to school in 1 hour and we still have to go home to bathe you and change our clothes? We have to hurry up."  
"Well breakfast is ready, you can't leave with an empty stomach, it will take 15 minutes for you to eat something and then you can get home." Richard said. "Let's get to the table Mike."

During breakfast everyone was silent, Michael was moody and his parents knew that it was because of his impatience, he was tired of waiting for Mattie to wake up, he wanted her to be able to play with him and do all the other things kids do, ride a bike with her brother, play soccer with him, read together…

They were soon after leaving Ellis and Richard's house, Derek was the one who took the car, so he dropped them off at Meredith's flat before leaving to head to own his house to get himself changed. Meredith had a little over half an hour to deal with her son's morning crankiness and to get them both in washed clothes, then she would get Michael to school and then another day of work would begin.

Thankfully everything went as planned.

* * *

Soon after Meredith arrived at the hospital, in another part of Seattle Grace, more precisely in the intern's locker room, the class of brand new doctors sat there in some benches exhausted, stressed out of their minds, and completely disoriented. They had been in silence for some minutes now, with the exception of the occasional stomach rumble and the water running in the shower area.

"My god O'Malley go eat something… I can't handle hearing your stomach no more…" Cristina Yang complained loudly. "I got to deal with 3 school boys with gastroenteritis in my first shift, I am sick of bad stomachs, please do something about it."

"I think the dinner I got in cafeteria didn't agree with my belly…" O'Malley excused himself. "It was a mean chili."

"I warned you not to eat it George." Izzie Stevens said while giggling. "At least it's just noises…"

"You are both insufferable." Yang said. "George, take an Imodium to help fix the plumbing then. For my sake, if not for yours. I am so tired of bad bowels right now."

"Here take this George, it will help you!" Jackson stood up from the bench he was laying on, to take from his cubby a charcoal tablet. "It will do you good."

"Avery, you are a life saver." Yang joked. "Don't be stressed if your poop comes out black, George."

"Thank you Jackson." George O'Malley ignored Yang's words and grabbed the tablet of dark pills, taking something from his cubby and entering the toilet.

"How was your first day Jackson?" Izzie Stevens asked, obviously interested in getting to know her fellow intern, he was an eye-catcher and didn't treat Izzie like she was used to around men, he seemed indifferent towards her.

"Katie Bryce got to be most spoiled brat in Seattle right now..." Jackson complained while sitting on the bench, in which he was laying down minutes ago.

"She is really pretty!" Lexie said, meddling in the conversation as she came to the cubbies area, where her fellow interns were, with a towel around her wet hair. "As a matter of fact she kind of looks like Stevens."

"Who looks like Izzie?" George asked, coming back with a toothbrush inside his mouth, he kept brushing his teeth vigorously and then went for the sink to wash his mouth and clean his scrubs top as he noticed foam from the toothpaste on it.

"Shepherd's patient.." Lexie answered. "She definitely looks like your younger sister, Izzie..."

"We both have blonde hair but other than that we are nothing alike..." Everyone who was taking part on the conversation just glared at Izzie. "What? We have absolutely nothing in common..."

"That is not really true..." Cristina affirmed, after hearing the group's conversation silently. "She is a pageant competitor, beauty pageants like obsessed with external beauty and appearance 24/7, and you are definitely a model, I have seen the magazine... Bethany Whisper, lady Betty Whisper, am I right?"

"It was a stupid photoshoot I did while in college, no big deal." Izzie said, shrugging it off. "If I had the means that girl has, I would never have done it."

"What do you mean?" Lexie inquired.

"C'mon she is loaded... She doesn't need the money... "

"Do you regret doing it?" George asked interested.

"I met my boyfriend in a party while representing the brand. Bethany Whisper is the sponsor for his hockey team, so I am happy I did it. Hank is a pretty nice guy." Izzie said without enthusiasm.

"I don't care about the money that whinny girl has, nor the 6 pack abs of your probably hot boyfriend that is clearly making you miserable, I just wished I had your self confidence Barbie... Just so you know, that was one hot photoshoot." Cristina said. "Even George commented on it earlier today."

"Well, you... look very nice... And I am a guy..." George reddened and started stammering. "And heterosexual..."

"A heterosexual virgin?" Cristina continued the earlier abuse on George.

"Don't be a bully, Cristina." Jackson said, already upset with Cristina's attitude, he thought of her as incredibly childish. He decided to try to change the topic. "How did it go with the research for Katie's case?"

"I spent all night reviewing the chart, with a pile of books near me, I have some pretty good ideas to develop more..." Cristina was the first to speak, enthusiastic for everyone else to think that she was a step ahead of them.

"Why don't you just tell Shepherd about them?" Jackson inquired.

"I just like to be always prepared... Those are just possible ways to go, I am not sure if it can apply to the little diva's case. Anyway why are so fed up with her?"

"Nothing, she is just whinny and makes my head hurt from all the complaining…" Jackson answered.

"Do you have any ideas for the diagnosis?" Yang asked, clearly interested in the topic as they were now discussing medicine.

"Not really, this night was a nightmare, I was in the pit assisting Kepner, I swear she doesn't need to sleep nor eat nor go to the bathroom... She is like indestructible... She doesn't do breaks nor does she admit for her co-workers to do them."

"Yeah, she is pretty tough... Shepherd seems like the opposite of that." Izzie exclaimed enthusiastically.

"He is not that bad… He seems like a nice guy." Lexie agreed.

"He is pretty hot too." Izzie commented.

"His eyes are pretty amazing..." Lexie shared with the others. "When I looked at them yesterday, it felt like I was in the beach getting ready to dive in."

"He is pretty unavailable also... I wouldn't think about him too much..." Jackson informed casually to the group's astonishment.

"And why is that candy boy? Is he into you? Well, you are pretty gorgeous, I wouldn't blame him..." Yang joked.

"Shut up Yang…" Jackson said while rolling his eyes due to her constant mocking.

"What did you mean Jackson? About Shepherd being unavailable?" Lexie questioned his colleague.

"What I meant was that he was way out of your league. He is an attending, do you think he would risk sleeping with a subordinate? Besides why would you want to do him, you would be risking your ass." Jackson explained to the other interns as the conversation took a more sensitive route for him. "It would be petty thoughtless."

"I heard some nurses say that he was absolutely free, they are preying on him. If a nurse wants to try her chance, why shouldn't a doctor?" Cristina commented to everyone's disbelief. "Not that I am interested. I am just talking on your behalf, girls, no need to thank me though."

"Lexie, did you get infatuated with the guy? Just because he gave you one of his dreamy smiles... Don't be pathetic and pine for a guy who doesn't want you." Jackson told Lexie as she was the intern he felt closer to. "Izzie, do you think your hockey player boyfriend appreciates you talking about another guy like that? And Yang, brain seriously? Isn't hearts your thing? Go check out Dr. Maggie Webber's ass or something."

"I am just stating a fact. Just because I have a boyfriend, doesn't mean I am blind!" Izzie told Jackson, and then realizing how she messed up by telling Jackson about her relationship status. "Besides Hank and I are not really going strong these days. I might be single any time now."

"And I am just making a comment. Just because I look and admire doesn't mean I am going for it." Lexie observed.

"Life is all about self control Grey. That is indeed a quality…" Cristina commented. "Will you be with Shepherd today too, Avery?"

"I don't know! Maybe it will likely be another day with that little…" Jackson was about to say but stopped, as he realized he wasn't alone. "… Child."

"Don't you have sisters?" Izzie asked curiously. "It seems like you are getting upset for nothing, as far as I see it."

"I have 2 older sisters but they aren't anything like that." Jackson said, uncertain if he should share the private details of his life with his colleagues. "They are grownups… Even when they were teenagers, they were never like that. At least I don't remember them like that."

"What do they do?" Lexie asked interested.

As Jackson started panicking trying to come up with an answer, Kepner entered the intern's locker room making the conversation end abruptly. Without taking her eyes of the iPad she was carrying, she just started ordering her interns without even a greeting first.

"I got your assignments so you can stop sitting on your lazy asses. Yang and O'Malley, you got Dr. Grey, Meredith Grey..." April Kepner clarified and then continued. "Grey, you get to help Dr. Richard Webber at the ER, go meet him there immediately. Stevens you are with Karev."

Everyone started getting ready to meet the doctor they were assigned to, and left, meanwhile Kepner went to wash her hands, Jackson still sat on the bench. She was bluntly ignoring him.

"Dr. Kepner?" Jackson called his resident.

"Avery?"

"Should I go meet Dr. Shepherd? Am I still the intern on the case?"

"Shepherd has a couple of surgeries and he will only be available to discuss the case after midday." April informed Jackson.

"So what should I do in the meantime?" Jackson asked hesitantly.

"You will go with me to the library… And we won't leave there without coming up with Katie's diagnosis… Am I clear?"

"Yeah, crystal clear!" Jackson said, astonished of what Kepner was asking of him.

"Then put on your lab coat doctor! I won't accept for anyone else than me to solve this damn mystery…" April told Jackson. "Be grateful for taking part on this medical journey with me."

"If you don't mind me asking… Why me?"

"Because of your beautiful eyes…" April mocked. "Obviously because you are the intern who best knows the patient."

"Thank you for the opportunity Dr. Kepner… Will we…"

"So do you have any questions? Should I sit down?" April asked. "Or should we go do something useful with our time instead, maybe try to save a life…"

"Yes, let's go!" Jackson said seriously, putting on his lab coat. "Let's go save Katie's life!"

"That is the way to go Avery! Let's rock and roll!"


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey guys! I am sorry for the time it took me to update the story. My life took a 180 degree turn in a month. I got a new job so I had to resign from the one I was at, a job I enjoyed, I was pretty sad for leaving it but still it appeared the opportunity of having a better paid contract and to go do a training in France. So for 3 months I will be living in a hotel in Paris, I've arrived 2 weeks ago, for the first time I've left my country, I am from Portugal BTW, it was the first time I travelled by plane too so those past few weeks have been pretty hectic to me in order to get everything prepared for the trip. I am good, still a bit unsettled with all these changes, I hope you are good as well.**

 **I am flying back home to spend Christmas with my family so it's likely that another update won't be posted next week. So I just wish you all a merry Christmas and if you have any suggestion of places to visit in Paris, please let me know, I have to become less homebody…**

 **So back to the story, I hope you haven't forgotten about it…**

Meredith glanced at her phone and noticed 2 unanswered phone calls from her boyfriend. Martin was stressing her out, he was becoming too controlling of her and even though she knew how sweet he actually was, nowadays all their phone calls seemed to end up with them arguing and him questioning her about the time she had been spending with Derek. That infuriated her, as if he didn't trust her enough, she always knew that deep down, even though Martin was a pretty confident guy, he felt threatened by Derek. When they were living together and Derek was in DC, that didn't affect their relationship at all but now with the distance between them and her ex-husband living in the same city as her, turned the usually perfect caring guy into a green eyed monster full of jealousy and without being able to control the way he was feeling.

Meredith used to be in love with Martin, now she wasn't so sure about that, she had been feeling like that for a while as if the things she used to love about him, annoyed her now. The distance between them felt like a breath of fresh air to her life and Meredith was glad for Derek being close to their children again. She appreciated being back to Seattle, all the confusion with her paternal family didn't make her regret her decision at all, it made her confused and without knowing how to process all of that, but she was just glad to have her family backing her up and supporting her through this.

Meredith had been inside her office trying to work on a future clinical trial but her usually concentrated mind kept divagating to the previous night, of Derek's messy hair after a night of sleep, of his aftershave all over the bed, his crazy deep blue eyes and… how comforting it was to be able to have him as a pillar again. He used to be her best friend, Meredith missed having him as her friend, she wishes for them to be close again, if only it would be that easy as her wanting for it to happen… And then there were her half sisters, so close to her that there was no way she could avoid them, she needed to deal with them and to make matters worse on a daily basis, since one was a teacher to one of her kids and the other one was an intern that would inevitably be appointed to her services.

She decided that she couldn't keep using Grey as her surname at workplace, people would find a link between them and she wished so hard that nobody would find out about it. That both Alexandra and Molly would be in the unknown so that Meredith could keep her distance from both of them, especially what Meredith dreaded the most was Thatcher wanting to get in contact with her.

There were already too many Webbers at Seattle Grace, and besides Webber wasn't her surname, she still felt like a Shepherd and she was one, she was the mother of two little Shepherd kids and maybe it wouldn't be so bad to become known at work as Dr. Shepherd again, there was Derek but she knew that after last night's talk he would be okay with that too. She would talk to him about it but she was sure that she had found the right solution…

Right at that moment Meredith's work phone, started ringing… She had no idea who might be, it was only her second day at Seattle Grace and she had never given her office phone number to anyone before. She picked the call after the forth ring and answered expectantly.

"Dr. Meredith Shepherd speaking." Meredith answered surely, just trying out the words after so long.

"So you got back to Shepherd as your professional name now… I am astonished!" Meredith knew well who was the person she was talking to, the woman had been a mentor as well as a personal friend for the last 6 years. "Things have certainly changed in a week!"

"Hello to you too Margaret… And you know that is my last name actually…" Meredith responded to Margaret Goodwin, Martin's mother and her former boss. "Don't take it personally."

"That also belongs to your ex… Gosh, if Martin had been the one calling you, he would freak out." Margaret said in an annoyed voice, Meredith could sense how her friend was judging her. "You don't return his calls, all you do is fight and now the name thing… What the hell are you both doing? What are you doing Meredith?"

"Calm down Margaret! I have only been here for 5 days, it was Michael's first day at school yesterday, before that there was the moving into the apartment thing and all the other stuff that have to be taken care of once you move from another city… I have been pretty busy myself…"

"First of all why are you going back to Shepherd? You are a Grey girl. I need to know about that before anything else."

"There are other people with the same surname in the hospital and besides I don't identify myself with that name anymore. I have been raised in the Webber household, as I am not officially a Webber, at least I don't have the name, I want to be from now on Meredith Shepherd! It doesn't have anything to do with Derek or with me wanting to hurt Martin. My kids are Shepherds, I am not ashamed of having the name."

"You know Shepherd is not an exclusive name either there, it is not a plausible reason. Stop being a mean girl to my son, Meredith." Margaret was a bear mother, that was the reason why it took Meredith and Martin so long to make their relationship official. It didn't make things better as Meredith loved Margaret and she knew everything concerning Martin and Meredith's relationship with him would directly affect their friendship, she decided to be truthful to her friend, hoping to get her to calm down.

"My biological father has a daughter working in the hospital, I want to be Shepherd so that I won't have to deal with the Greys…" Meredith stated, Margaret didn't reply till a few seconds later. "Please, try to see things by my perspective…"

"I am trying Meredith. I am definitely trying… But you are hurting my son with all of this!"

"How is Amanda?" Meredith decided to ask about Martin's little sister, hoping to change the topic.

"She is pretty pissed with you too… Martin is being mean to everyone and she misses having you here to talk to. Apparently you never go to whatsapp or to any other social media."

"Well, I am a mother of 2 kids who has a lot on her plate right now… Margaret, I am your friend and I appreciate all the things you have done to me in the past but you don't have any right to talk to me like that and expect me to babysit your son because he doesn't handle the fact that I live in the same city as the father of my kids…"

"Ohhh Martin is handling it, that was the reason why I called you…" Margaret said. "You make my boy insecure and now he is making decisions that he shouldn't be making…"

"What are you talking about?" Meredith was now annoyed, when Margaret was about to respond, she heard a knock on the door and whoever was at the entrance of her office, came in.

In front of her appeared two doctors in light blue scrubs, an Asian woman with what seemed like a constant frown on her face and a baby faced man, who had made small talk with her during the intern's gala.

"I am sorry Dr. Grey…" Both of them said, Meredith was actually grateful to both of them for saving her morning from the awful conversation that she was about to have with Margaret Goodwin.

"Look Margaret, I have to go. My interns are here… We will talk some other time!" Meredith said purposely not setting up a time. "I have to go now."

"I hope you are not lying to me Meredith Grey. We'll talk soon then…" Margaret hanged up the call and then Meredith looked to both of the expecting interns.

"Good morning Dr. Grey!" As Meredith got up to meet them at the entrance of her office, the Asian doctor greeted Meredith with an unexpected cup of hot liquid.

Meredith decided that she would speak to Derek first before going back to Dr. Shepherd again, it was to be expected, he should have a say in that as Shepherd was his name and not hers.

"We are sorry for interrupting your call, Dr. Grey…" The man said.

"Next time just wait for my answer first please…" Meredith said to them, without being able to reprimand them.

"We are sorry… Mocha latte, if you have it." The girl doctor offered.

"Thanks Doctor..."

"Yang. Cristina Yang." The frown in that intern's face turned into excitement as Meredith gave a careful sip on the cup.

"It doesn't have any sugar Yang, do you think I need to be on a diet?" Meredith asked giving the intern a hard stare.

"No, you seem... great as you are right now..." Yang responded with a stressed out expression, realizing she just screwed up her attempts of getting the favors of her attending.

"Besides this coffee is as strong as chamomile tea. I need energy to teach you and put up with all your crap. With this, I will end up falling asleep and leaving you to handle all the patients and make history as the day with highest mortality rate ever in Seattle Grace, I am sure we would go bankrupt with all the lawsuits. Is that what you want?" Meredith repeated again, succeeding in intimidating the interns.

She noticed the baby faced intern as he looked closely at her face.

"Do you want to say something doctor?" Meredith asked, impatient of being stared at, he just moved his head rapidly to each side as a response.

"Good. Let's get to the business, shall we? So you are Yang and what is your name?"

"I am George O'Malley... You were at the intern's mix."

"Yes Dr. O'Malley and I wasn't the only one that went to that event." Meredith said sarcastically. "What is your point?"

"We talked with each other over the schrooms plate..." George said embarrassed that she was acting like she didn't remember him.

"What does that have to do with anything? I talk with a lot of people, are you expecting me to give you a present just because we had a 5 minute talk while I was devouring some appetizers?"

"No Dr. Grey, I was just..." George was dumbstruck and he wouldn't chance a look at Cristina's face, because he could clearly hear her muffled laughter impulses by his side.

"Just stop talking and let's go work." Meredith impatiently left her office with the 2 interns closely behind her and making one of her goals to that morning, to find Derek as soon as possible so that she could expose her ideas to him.

Her life was messy and it was only her second day at Seattle Grace… Oh boy, what could happen more to her? Meredith thought as she went to make the rounds on her patients and introduce the cases to the interns.


	22. Chapter 22

**It's Sunday! It's a little sad as another week is about to start, but anyway we should be happy for being alive and thankful for all we have! Here is an update and I am incredibly sorry for not being regular with the updates lately… I hope to get back on track soon.**

 **I hope you are all well and that you enjoy this chapter!**

 **Have a nice week people!**

"Dr. Shepherd!" Derek heard someone shouting for him as he got inside the elevator, he knew the voice well, it was his ex-brother in law.

"The only thing she would possibly need would be an angiogram…" Derek heard April Kepner's voice as well, he turned to look at both of them, they were breathless. "Dr. Shepherd, just one moment!"

"Jackson, you look like you went for a work out!" Jackson had clearly been chasing after Derek, Derek was perplexed when he looked to the right and saw how disheveled April Kepner was, he corrected his manner, taking up the teacher role. "What can I do for you Dr. Webber?" Jackson hesitated and Kepner took the chance to steal the spotlight for herself.

"It's Dr. Avery…" Jackson said, as if there was no reason for them to have just run after him.

"Katie competes in beauty pageants..." Kepner said as if something should click on Derek's brain after that sentence.

"I know that but we still have to save her life anyway. Get to the point please!" Derek said impatiently, looking directly to Jackson, waiting for him to take the lead.

"No headaches, no neck pain, her CT is clean. There is no medical proof of an aneurism." April Kepner kept successfully opening the elevator's door once it started to close.

"Right!" Derek said impatiently.

"But what if she has one anyway?" Kepner asked.

"There are no indicators." Derek replied resolutely, Jackson kept listening impassively to the ongoing conversation.

"But she twisted her ankle a few weeks ago while practicing for a pageant." Kepner kept trying convincing Derek to no avail.

"I appreciate you trying to help but…" Derek said.

"When she twisted her ankle, she fell…" Jackson said simply.

"It was no big deal, not even a bump in the head. She got back up, ice on her ankle and everything was fine. It was a fall so minor, her doctor didn't even think of mentioning it when I was taking her history but she did… She did fall…" April Kepner told her boss while continuously preventing the elevator's door to close.

"I would like to not let those who are waiting for my consult die waiting for help to come... That would be a great lawsuit, besides I am done for tragedy for a whole life. Do you know what are the chances of a minor fall bursting into an aneurysm?" Derek asked both Jackson and Kepner.

"1 in a million..." Jackson answered.

"Let's keep the dead to a minimum. Shall we? Let's look into other less impossible diagnosis..." Derek turned his back disappearing inside the elevator. Kepner didn't prevent the doors from closing this time.

"Damn…" Kepner muttered. "Meet me in the ER in 15 minutes, Avery!"

April Kepner went on her way, clearly frustrated, in a quick pace to get out of there.

Meanwhile inside the elevator as soon as the elevator's doors closed, Derek pressed pause, making the elevator stop all its movements, he took a few seconds to think on the idea his students had just presented him and then pushed the button to the lower floor with conviction.

Jackson was just around the corner, getting himself a bottle of water from a vending machine. Kepner was nowhere to be seen. Derek took out his wallet and grabbed some coins to get himself a chocolate bar, Jackson only noticed that it was Derek, who was near him when he patted his shoulder.

"Let's go!" Derek said.

"Where?" Jackson asked.

"Find out if Katie is one in a million! Let's go find your resident on our way to the patient's room."

Derek could be a lot of things, but he was definitely a man who believed in the impossible, for his own sake. He just couldn't dismiss this possibility without looking deeper into it.

"What about your imminent dead patients waiting for your assistance?" Jackson questioned with an eyebrow raised and with a smile on his face.

"I will page Dr. Nelson to take care of them… Don't be too funny Jackson! You got me this time, I wish you had been the one to expose the possible diagnosis. Next time take the lead as I know that you were the one that knew about Katie's fall! Now get Kepner to come to my office."

* * *

As Jackson went to the ER to get Kepner, he encountered his two sisters chatting while sitting in a bench, eating some snacks.

"Kiddo!" Maggie said happily. "Come sit down with us for 5 minutes."

Jackson actually felt like needing a break, he sat down attentive of the fact that he could only stay there for 5 minutes. Meredith passed his brother the sandwich that she was eating.

"Eat the rest of it Jackson! You have only been here for 2 minutes and I swear I heard your stomach growl with hunger for more than that."

"When I see my bed in front of me at the end of this day, I'll cry tears of joy…" Jackson took a bite of the sandwich Meredith offered him and growled in satisfaction. "Mayo, tuna, carrot and lettuce… Damn, theses tuna sandwiches never got better."

"The first shift is always the worse." Meredith said as she passed Jackson her plastic glass of orange juice. "It will get better."

"I thought all this would be easier." Jackson complained, taking a sip from the orange juice.

"This job will never get easy. There are lives on our hands." Maggie said as if Jackson didn't know of it. "Yeah, you think being a doctor gives you superpowers, it doesn't! Not really…"

"Well the girls will be impressed by it though… You will get way more girls…" Meredith told her siblings with a grin on her face. "So at what time will you end your shift?"

"Before 3 pm. I will get your little rugrat from school, I want to take him to see Mattie."

"Or better said, Michael will take you to see Mattie… He knows the place already…" Meredith informed his brother. "Well, I think it would be better if you would go straight home, you need rest today, Jackie. I'll ask mom or dad to pick up Mike from school."

"Don't be silly, Mer! I am fine!" Jackson said surely.

"You look like you are about to drop dead. You are in no condition to get Michael from school. I will go with you, I'll drive the car, we can both get Mike and then go see Mattie. Is that ok with you little brother?" Maggie suggested.

"I told Meredith and Derek, I would get him myself…" Jackson said simply.

"And I am fine with it. Derek will be too! Maggie, are you sure it is not too much to ask? If you have other stuff to do, I can get my son from school." Meredith said. "Besides I know you had plans with Alex."

"Alex won't mind going too… We want to see Mattie and spend some more time with Michael. It's totally fine!" Maggie assured. "Jackson needs someone to make him a good dinner tonight, I will babysit our brother too. He needs more care than your son actually, Meri."

"He is a grown up baby in fact…" Meredith agreed as they both looked at Jackson grabbing Maggie's chocolate pudding and quickly devouring it.

"I need to go see Derek." Jackson stood up and asked his sisters. "Do I have chocolate pudding in my face?"

"You are good kid!" Maggie said smiling.

"So you are still working with Derek today?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah… It's me, Derek and Kepner! We were about to run some tests on a patient actually." Jackson informed.

"You seem a little not too happy about it. What did Derek do?" Maggie asked.

"Why would Derek do something to Jackson? Besides he is working with his scary resident… Have you worked with her Maggie? She is mean!" Meredith said. "They call her the Undertaker…"

"The Undertaker?" Maggie looked at Jackson who confirmed with a nod. "Just like that wrestling weird dude? You know the one that likes graveyards… And dead things?"

"Maggie, how do you know that?" Meredith asked confused and then joked. "I don't remember you being into wrestling, or any other sport apart from studying…"

"I jog as a matter of fact… And I married I guy who used to wrestle in college. Alex likes to watch that from time to time… Undertaker likes to stick his tongue out all the time too. Is your resident like that too?" Maggie asked seriously.

"No, she isn't that weird, Maggs! Anyway I must go."

"You can't go without telling us why you are upset with Derek!" Meredith insisted.

"I am not upset with Derek! He is just acting as an attending and a teacher…"

"So Derek is being mean too… Damn… I thought you were upset with Kepner, not with him." Maggie said. "Have you broken up with him already?"

"What?" Meredith asked confused.

"Derek is like Jackson's best friend. They are tight…" Maggie told his sister. "As if you didn't know about it already…"

"Look, both of you, stop it! Derek just wanted me to be more participative in the diagnosis of the patient… He wanted me to speak more, that is all! And I am leaving now! That is all you get." Jackson said annoyed. "So Maggie, at what time should I meet you?"

"At 15h30 in the parking lot…" Maggie said.

"Ok, I'll be there! See you guys! Thank you for the food." Jackson said leaving without letting Meredith utter another word.

"It's his first day as a doctor. It's normal him being that way and Derek being like that." Maggie told Meredith. "Don't be pissed with Derek. He expects too much of Jackson."

"I am not pissed with Derek. Thanks Maggs for picking up Michael." Meredith said changing the topic. "Won't this affect your baby making plans?"

"I will be ovulating tonight too, besides it will be a great afternoon. As a matter of fact, I am ovulating right now, I need to find my husband." Maggie said without being embarrassed. "Have you seen Alex?"

"I miss the prude Maggie… But it's good that we'll soon get a new baby in this family." Meredith said laughing. "Go find your husband. Last time I've seen him he was in the cafeteria having a break. It was like 20 minutes ago. Hurry, you still might get him there."

"I'll go! See you sis!" Maggie said grabbing her phone from inside her lab coat and texting her husband.

Meredith just smiled, remembering fondly of her kids baby smell and soft warm pinkish skin after they came out of inside of her… She missed having a baby nearby… She was glad for her sister, it would be good for the family to have a new child in their lives.

* * *

Derek Shepherd stood with Kepner and Jackson in the exams room, glancing at the screen in the interior room as the technician examined Katie.

"I'll be damned, it is minor, but it's there! It's a subarachnoid hemorrhage. She is bleeding into her brain."

They all left the room and headed to the main lobby.

"She could have lived her entire life without ever being a problem. One tap in the right spot and…"

"It exploded…" Kepner added.

"Exactly, now I'd like to fix it. You two did a great work…" Shepherd smiled to both of them. "I'd like to keep kissing both of your asses but I have to inform Katie's parents that she needs to undergo surgery."

After arriving to the nurse's main desk, Derek proceeded to ask.

"Katie Bryce's chart please!" Derek was handed the chart he asked for. "Thank you!"

"So about the surgery… Will I assist on it?" Kepner asked enthusiastically.

"Sorry, Kepner, this will be a thing for a 5th year resident to work on! You will be able to observe it. I can't take both of you, I am sorry! It's going to be a full house, Jackson you will have to watch from the gallery!" Derek informed Jackson of his decision, leaving him dumbstruck and April clearly desolated. Without another word, they left, leaving Derek scribbling down on the chart.

Nobody noticed that just behind their backs stood no other than a relative from both the intern and attending on Katie Bryce's case…. It's no wonder really as almost all the family worked there.

"Did I hear you correctly?" Meredith asked abruptly, coming closer to Derek.

"Hey Meredith!" Derek greeted his ex-wife while continuing to scribble down on the chart. "What do you mean?"

"You just kicked my brother out from the OR to go watch the surgery from the gallery… C'mon how can you do this? He is your kids blood."

"That would be nepotism Meredith! Just cause he is my brother, doesn't mean I will give him a free pass without him surpassing some hoops…" Derek replied back.

"First of all, he is my brother. We were married, now you get your family back, and I get mine, there is no mix in our divorce, apart from the kids. Jackson is mine…" Meredith added possessively. "Besides he is a great intern, I have 2 dummy interns, I swear that April Kepner just assigned me the worst on purpose…"

"They are babies. It's their first shift as doctors. Go easy on them, we all went through the same once…"

"But still you should acknowledge how Jackson is such a great intern… He doesn't need you to ostracize him by punishing him for not speaking up and respecting his resident. He must be so mad with you…"

"I don't think he is mad with me at all… Jackson needs a push, this will make him think about how he should have been the one to present me with the diagnosis…" Derek said. "I know that he was the one who came up with the answer…"

"Then why didn't you give him some credit?" Meredith asked.

"Because he didn't earn it. In DC it was the same, he was accommodated, he had a great family structure, you were all doctors, he was privileged in every place he went. He hadn't ever worked hard to get anywhere, his grades came naturally. He didn't need to do much, everything was handed to him. And after high school, when he went for medical school, he wasn't ready for it…"

"That is wrong. He did good there." Meredith said confidently. "You don't know right. I talked with him every week, more than once, everything was easy there for him."

"Not really Meredith… You are wrong there! His road had many bumps and he was still a kid who had never been on his own outside of Seattle."

"What am I missing? How come you know so much about what Jackson did in Washington DC?" Meredith asked confused. "Something went on there. What did both of you hid from me?"

"You are right Meredith! We hid from you that Jackson moved in with me. He was in trouble for awhile in the beginning, lots of nights out, many girls, too little studying, he was failing, the more he failed, the more he went out and partied. It was a bad cycle." Derek explained to Meredith.

"Jackson is not like that… He is a good boy… I am his sister, for god's sake, I know him better."

"No, you actually don't! You were far away and he was always used to being pampered by you all! I gave him a hand but nothing more than that. I advised him and helped him grow up." Derek told a silent thoughtful Meredith. "We lived together during the time he was there, he lived in my flat with me."

"I wasn't expecting to hear this… I don't know what to say really." Meredith said. "Thanks Derek, for helping him."

"My point Meredith is that I love him as if he was my own brother and I know him well…" Derek said simply. "Don't be mad for not knowing sooner."

"I am not mad, I understand why you both did it. Jackson didn't need more confusion in his life at that time. You were my ex husband…"

"My point is I know your brother well. He is capable of a lot of things, but I am his teacher, I am not supposed to know him. Of course I know he was the one who came up with the diagnosis. He is intelligent, he was the intern in direct contact with the patient, he got to know her and he was the one who mentioned the fall to his resident…"

"That Kepner seems like untrustworthy. She took advantage of my brother. She deserved…" Meredith said furiously.

"No, she doesn't… She is his resident. She knew what assets she could count on and she used them. Asking your brother to help her just shows how intelligent Kepner actually is. She looks like you as a matter of fact…"

"No, she does not! You are trying to piss me off…" Meredith told Derek angrily.

"She is totally dedicated to her work, she wants to be the best, she knows how to use all the opportunities around her to get the best of them, she treats interns like crap… I believe you are lost sisters." Derek joked.

"You can't compare an attending to a first year resident, Derek!"

"You didn't start as an attending. I still remember you as an intern and as a resident, you know." Derek smiled with all the memories coming through his head from that time. "I miss those days."

"What do you miss? Sleeping in the same bed as your wife once every week?"

"I missed how optimist you were back then…" Derek told Meredith. "You are a different person than the one you were 10 years ago."

"You know I am thinking of going back to Dr. Shepperd around here… If you would be alright with that, of course." Meredith decided that was the right moment to discuss that topic with him.

"Why would you do that?" Derek was astonished. "I don't want for you to use my name just so that you can hide behind it…."

"It's not about me hiding behind it… It's just…"

"It's just about your sisters not finding out about you. And it's too late, it makes no sense, everyone knows you are Meredith Grey, it would be pointless."

"It's not about that and they are not my sisters…"

"Biologically they are your sisters, whether you want it or not. And you absolutely cannot use the Shepherd name around here, I won't allow it. It's mine." Now Meredith could feel that Derek wasn't joking.

"I gave birth to 2 of your babies, you know it hurt a lot to have their bodies came out of mine. That is how you treat me?" Meredith pretended being disappointed.

"We are divorced, you kept the name but you can't use it. There would be some awkward questions for both of us if you started using it all of the sudden." Derek turned serious again. "And you have to face your problems…"

"You know I hate you…"

"Deep down, we both know you have the opposite feelings for me, if only… Things hadn't changed 7 years ago."

"We all know what happened… Mattie's condition crushed us all. We all have changed. Let's admit it…"

"Not everything changed! It would be impossible for…" Derek was about to grab Meredith's hand.

As Meredith kept herself from crying, Cristina Yang appeared.

"Dr. Grey! Dr. Bailey asked us to find you, she needs you on OR3 right now…"

"What's going on?" Meredith asked, already with her mind on her professional mode.

"A patient that came in the ER with a perforated bowel, a crashed liver and potential rupture of the spleen. She needs your help." Yang said. "Car crash."

"I will get there immediately…" Meredith left running with Yang by her side, leaving Derek to think about his own operation but he only could think of his past life and his ex wife unforgettable glassy green eyes...


	23. Chapter 23

**Hello people! I am a bad person, I am sorry for not updating in such a long time, my current job is just so stressful, but please don't give up on me, I won't stop writing this story! I hope you like this chapter and I will do my best to give you another one asap!**

 **I hope you are well! Have a nice weekend!**

Meredith was exhausted, what a day... She climbed the stairs slowly, thankful that Jackson and Maggie had taken Michael for the afternoon, even though she loved being a mother, she was relieved that tonight she wouldn't have to bathe and make dinner to her kid, for the afternoon she had just been the general surgeon Dr. Meredith Grey Shepherd. Maybe she was a crappy mother but being a single mother and a full time doctor at the same time sometimes was so exhausting.

In the OR, her arms were mechanical, it was as if her hands had a life of their own, given the precision and quickness that they worked. Her brain already in auto pilot as soon as she put her hands inside her patient's body. She fixed, she repaired other people, but when she needed the most for someone to repair something for her, the only thing Meredith received back was a slap on her face. Her daughter was in a deep coma, nobody had fixed her. Why did this happen? She had thought about it for more than 1000 times, Meredith couldn't have prevented it, everybody told her in the beginning, when she just couldn't move to go work or even out of bed, when all she did was cry and wait till the visitor's hours at the hospital began for her to see her daughter and try to find the once lively child again breathing on her own and smiling.

Meredith was tired and her brain was racing as if it was in a formula 1 race. As Meredith turned to open the door of her house, her little brother Jackson was laying down on top of the sofa, the TV was almost mute and there was only light coming from the lamp on top of the coffee table.

"So how did it go today with Michael?" Meredith asked to the sleepy form of her brother as he opened his eyes.

"Sleeping upstairs. Soundly sleeping, I fell asleep with him in his bed while we were watching some cartoons before bed. He woke me up with his snoring."

"Did he?" Meredith asked amused and added innocently. "Well, I don't know who he takes that from."

"I bet you don't!" Jackson said chuckling. "You are always sleeping so you are unable to notice it. Chainsaw is your middle name, sis!"

"I won't make any comment about it." Meredith answered with a smile on her face. "You seem alive, by the way! My kid's snoring wasn't that bad to kill you! Nor the first shift as an intern. Where is Maggie?"

"Likely fucking Alex right now." Jackson said casually to a shocking Meredith.

"Jackson, language…" Meredith said as she smacked his brother's forehead. "You are talking about your sister in front of your older sister, have some respect."

"C'mon Mer, we are both adults. I know you are not a prude, don't pretend to be one, I don't believe your act!" Jackson said chuckling. "I used to catch you and Derek going on about it everywhere 10 years ago… The weirdness in the sex topic between us is far gone in our relationship Mer."

"If Maggie had heard you, she would have given you a black eye, especially now!"

"Yeah, I know… Now that she is all hormonal from the fertility pills." Jackson said simply.

"How do you know that? That is supposed to be a secret. Did Alex tell you?" Meredith asked, shocked.

"Not in so many words, I don't have that kind of relationship with Alex, he is a good guy, just not my type of friend."

"Then how did you find out?" Meredith insisted. "I know Maggie didn't tell you."

"You know it was actually your kid the reason for me finding out. When Maggie went to get ice cream with Alex for all of us, Mike showed me the pills that had fallen from Magg's bag. Mike thought it was mints…" Jackson started laughing hysterically. "It was so funny…"

"Ohhh crap! What did you tell Mike? And Maggie?"

"Nothing sis, I know how to keep a secret, you know. I simply told Mike that it was pain pills for Maggie's patients and then I discretely put them back inside Maggie's bag. Just that. Anyway she wasn't too discreet about it. After dropping us here, they excused themselves and invented some silly explanation to get to their home so that they could… Copulate… If you prefer it that way…" Jackson said smiling.

"You can't tell mom. Maggie doesn't want neither mom nor dad to know about it. She can't know you know too." Meredith told Jackson with authority.

"Relax Mer, I am family. I will pretend like it is a surprise once they announce the tiny bun in the oven, you know I love my niece and nephew, I will love another one as well." Jackson said yawning. "Man, long day today… And yesterday too."

"How are you feeling after the first day as a doctor?" Meredith asked after calming down.

"Like I said, it was a hell of a long day! But having some M&M for myself was great! Matilda is so big now! Such a little woman almost... But still so tiny. Well she also has your genes definitely." Jackson reflected sadly. "Mikey is his usual self, endless battery like always."

"M&M, you compare my kids to chocolate..." Meredith said trying to cheer his brother up.

"They are Mattie and Mikey, M&M! And they are just as good as chocolate, even better... A little tiring, but the never ending last night didn't help either."

"I am sorry for giving you the responsibility of taking care of Michael after your first shift at the hospital." Meredith apologized. "He isn't your kid."

"No, he is not my kid but he is my nephew, who I happen to love deeply! We bought some flowers and decorated Mattie's room with some posters too!"

"That seems nice, I am dying to see her room! I couldn't get out of surgery earlier but I'll drop by there tomorrow before my shift." There was a brief silence, but then Meredith started again. "So I talked with Derek today!"

"Did you?" Jackson opened his eyes and looked up. "About what?"

"He told me that you aced the case..."

"Kepner helped too. It was a team work!"

"Well, Derek told me that too... About you not wanting to take the credit..."

"April Kepner is my resident..." Jackson exclaimed serenely.

"You were the only one on the case who dealt with the patient..." Meredith told Jackson simply. "Derek knew you were the one who came up with the diagnosis. Kepner just took the spotlight away from you and on to her."

"That is just..." Jackson was about to say when Meredith interrupted him.

"Simply the truth?"

"Only somewhat right..." Jackson exasperated. "I am still at the bottom of the surgical food chain though, I don't deserve to get more recognition than all the others, I am just a first shift intern."

"Not anymore though! Chin up Jackie! I am proud of you though!" Really proud!" Meredith patted his leg. "You missed a chance to get in a interesting surgery on your very first shift because you didn't let yourself shine but still you have our parents genes, you can't do wrong in the surgical field, it is just impossible."

"Don't say that! Don't put this pressure on top of my shoulders, it is too much!" Jackson complained quietly. "I am doing the best I can, don't expect me to be the best of the class."

"I worked with Yang and O'Malley today and let me just say that I wasn't impressed!"

"They are good. Yang seems really brainiac and O'Malley is empathetic and concerned with the patients. We all have our things. Qualities and weaknesses both. I am not a child prodigy just because I am your brother."

"I know that Jackson! You remind me of Maggie with that last sentence." Meredith said. "She also didn't want any more credit than what her work would get her."

"Maggie and I are siblings and we both have you as an older sister. A bear sister."

"I am a proud sister though." Meredith smiled. "Derek shared me about your little secret."

"He did?" Jackson asked surprised. "About what, to be more precise?"

"The living together thing... In DC." Meredith clarified.

"How come he told you about that?" Jackson asked.

"I pressured him about it. You had already dropped some hints about it. And mom had too."

"He gave me shelter when I was a bit disoriented, he was my guide. You chose a good husband. I have to thank you for bringing him into our lives."

"He is not my husband anymore though... But I still belong to him. I am a Shepherd for life." Meredith admitted with a sad expression.

"You are down, I can feel it. Call him, invite him for a beer tonight, I will stay with Mike and you go rekindle your relationship with him." Jackson suggested as if it was the easiest solution to come across, receiving a hard stare from Meredith. "What?"

"It's not that simple, kid!" Meredith answered.

"Make it simple, Mer! Choose happiness!" Jackson continued but decided to drop the theme after receiving no other answer back from his sister.

"Stop Jackson, it won't happen again! Derek and I were just not meant to be… He is almost out of my life, only…"

"You only work at the same place and well, he will never stop being a father to your children and he has always been the best brother to me." Jackson remarked.

"Derek is a good guy!" Meredith stated. "You should go to bed now, your eyes are bloodshot. You look like you are about to pass out!"

"I feel like I am about to pass out..." Jackson smiled. "Are you OK with me? Keeping my living situation in DC a secret from you?"

"Is my kid fed and washed?"

"Belly full, smelling of soap and his snack is packed in his lunch box for tomorrow." Jackson replied with a lazy smile.

"No wonder you are tired. You always surpass yourself. You must get some chick pregnant, you are a natural dad."

"Don't say that in front of our parents please. Well there were some nice chicks in my class of interns."

"Were they? Do tell!" Meredith ordered expectantly.

"There is a pretty brunette in the group! I won't say anything else, so that you won't put any more pressure on me." Jackson admitted thinking of Lexie Grey.

"I won't! Trust me..." Meredith stood thoughtful and oblivious from who Jackson was talking about, she asked her brother. "How come Michael hid the fact that his uncle was living with his dad when he went to stay there for the holidays?"

"Michael though I was only visiting... At night I always sneaked inside once he was already sleeping or I would go to my room and lock myself inside of it. Your kid is too bright, we had to be super careful for him not to notice anything strange."

"You got all of this planned out... I don't know if I should be upset or impressed with your tactics."

"Impressed, I hope! You didn't answer if we were OK?" Jackon asked again.

"It was no big deal... Except if you had a child together and you hid it from me, did you?" Meredith asked ironically.

"We are fine on that part then...I am still a virgin..." Jackson joked. "And no men lover, definitely."

"You are just about a virgin as I am, after having 2 kids, of course."

"I am no man whore..." Jackson replied, pretending to be hurt.

"You are just too pretty for your own good." Meredith smiled. "You got the good genes from the family, the ladies like you way too much."

"I like the ladies way too much too..." Jackson agreed. "They are likeable."

"I know that, it was a good thing you being with Derek in DC, he cockblocked you, I am sure, and made you study instead." Meredith told her brother what was on her mind. "Mum is pretty thankful to him because of that."

"Among other stuff too..." Jackson replied. "He gave two pretty great kids to the family."

"Yes, I didn't even help with that either! He was the one who carried them and pushed those two babies out of his penis." Meredith said jokingly.

"That would not be pretty…" Jackson asked mortified. "I don't want to picture it… But admit it, he is a great guy!"

"Oh my god, my family loves my ex more than they love me..." Meredith said and then added. "We still have to talk more about your secret life in DC with Derek... I want to know more about it."

"Hasn't Derek told you all about it?"

"He just said it, nothing more... His beeping pager didn't help me with the questioning." Meredith added.

"Well sis, tomorrow is another day."

"Go sleep, you can go to my spare room, it has fresh sheets inside the wardrobe." Meredith told Jackson.

"I will go now. Good night Meredith!" Jackson said as he bent down to kiss Meredith's forehead as she was sitting on the sofa. "I missed you!"

"Good night Jackson! And thank you!" Meredith smiled. "I love you little brother!"

"You are welcome." Jackson said and added before leaving. "You are so mushy inside. You just don't like to admit it! I love you too Mer."

Meredith's mind was full, the morning was crazy with Derek and lots of secret feelings inside of her. Then Derek's revelation about Jackson, she thought he was going to say something else but she was definitely surprised with what her ex husband had told her. Meredith was about to call Maggie to wind up a little when she heard the door bell.

Meredith glanced at her wrist, it was almost eleven, who would come so late to someone else's house.

She went to the door, a little too carelessly due to Jackson being inside the house too, prepared to snap to who was wanting to see her at those hours without even calling her.

Meredith opened the door and her mouth went wide open as she looked who was coming to see her.

"I'll be damned..." She just mumbled to herself, completely shocked with the person in front of her.


	24. Chapter 24

**Hi guys! You are probably thinking this is not real, how come I updated again so soon after last chapter? Well, I am definitely trying to improve my efficiency in updating this story, I am working on it and I am glad you are all still interested in the story.**

 **I hope you are having a nice weekend and that everything is going well with you all!**

 **I hope you like this chapter.**

In front of Meredith stood no one but the guy she had been calling her boyfriend for almost three years now. Meredith felt surprised but realized too that she was indifferent to Martin, she didn't feel eager to hug him or kiss him, so she didn't do either. He looked handsome, but sad and gloomy, she noticed it too. Meredith had never been the jealous type to his luck because Martin, wherever would go, would leave women making comments and staring at him bluntly.

"Martin, what are you doing here?" Meredith asked her still boyfriend, who was looking right at her, with an unreadable expression.

"It's pretty obvious Meredith, I came to see you!" He didn't smile. "You wouldn't answer the phone."

Meredith didn't know what to say.

"Will you let me in?" Martin just asked, Meredith stepped aside and let Martin come inside.

Martin looked around, and Meredith showed him the living room, he followed her silently.

"Nice flat, by the way! Not as good as your house in Boston but it seems really cozy in here." Martin said, sitting down, mimicking Meredith. "So how have you been, Meri?"

"You came here to Seattle to make comments about my house and to ask me how I am! Tell me the truth Martin, why are you here?"

"Why do you think I am here?" Martin asked, adding. "I know well enough that things are really off with us… I came here to figure stuff out. You don't seem that willing to do it."

"Look Martin, it's late, you trap me in my house without telling me you are coming… You could text me or send an email, in that way it would be impossible for me to hear you snapping." Meredith noticed Martin's face changing, with her last sentence.

"Don't say that, I wanted to see you! This last week has been really difficult, I don't mean to sound like an asshole during our phone calls, it's just that I miss you terribly! And you don't call me, don't text me, don't answer my calls, you are simply dismissing me. You have your other life back, Derek and you are living in the same city. I am not dumb, I am pretty aware of what you would say to me the next time you would finally pick up the phone."

"We have been apart for about a week. We have just been arguing from the minute I left Boston, nut things haven't been ok for awhile, long before my departure." Meredith told Martin. "Being back in Seattle has given me a new perspective of what I wish for myself."

"What do you mean? I thought you told me that Seattle wouldn't break us, that we would be able to overcome the distance. Why don't you want to talk with me?"

"I haven't answered your calls because talking to you nowadays is exhausting." Meredith justified herself. "I cannot handle you acting all jealous and possessive all the time. I have my own life here, you are suffocating me. Couldn't you just give me some time to think?"

"I know what you would come up with at the end if I gave you time to think. I am here to try to save our relationship! I want it to return to what it was in the beginning." Martin said.

"Us fooling around behind your mother's back? That is impossible to get back to!" Meredith answered ironically.

"Not entirely impossible…" Martin said as he unexpectedly positioned himself closer to Meredith and grabbed her face suddenly and started giving her a searing kiss.

Meredith didn't reciprocate in the beginning but soon her imagination took over as the persistent kiss from Martin awakened her inner animal. Meredith instinctively put her hands on Martin's hair and almost immediately her mind changed the form of Martin to Derek's. With her eyes closed, making out with Derek was what her imagination came up with. Her passion for Martin long gone, the kiss only was able to progress with Derek constantly on her mind. To Meredith, Derek was at that moment, caressing her arms, passing his hands through her arms and back, softly fondling her breasts and massaging her tongue with his. Meredith moaned, being close to Derek for these past days made her remember of the fond memories of her marriage. But the truth right now was that she was making out with her boyfriend, someone she felt disconnected from and totally alienated to his presence even though he was so close from her.

She opened her eyes again and came back to earth just as Martin was going to put his hand inside her jeans, this wouldn't be happening, Martin wasn't Derek and she wasn't into her boyfriend anymore.

Meredith was able to stop him, pulling away from the kiss and preventing him from continuing by putting her hands on his chest, giving her a safe distance from him. Meredith noticed Martin's blue eyes full of longing and his expression confused not understanding why she was stopping him.

"Should we go to the bedroom?" Martin asked as he breathed heavily, as he positioned his hands on her waist.

"Martin, you can't stay here." Meredith said as she distanced herself from him. "I need time to think. And I am tired."

"Thinking is overrated, and you can sleep after we are done!" Martin tried to kiss Meredith again unsuccessfully as she got up from the sofa. "What the hell?"

"My brother is here and Michael is sleeping." Meredith said. "It's best if you leave!"

"To hell with your brother. He is a grown guy. And Michael is used to me being around. I was the one who made pancakes for him on Sunday, not his dad, not your brother, not your father. It was me, I am family to him."

"Well, Michael has school tomorrow and it would only mess up with his head seeing you here after taking so long for him to understand that you wouldn't be living with us anymore."

"Meredith, please don't do this!" Martin begged. "Mike doesn't need to see me, just let me be with you, I need to hold you and know nothing has changed, that you are still mine."

"I am not your possession, Martin!" Meredith simply said.

"But you are my girlfriend! We are in a relationship for awhile, I am not a stranger. It feels like our relationship took a 180 degrees turn in such a short period of time. I don't understand it."

"Look it's better if I think things through and I need some sleep, I have an early shift tomorrow. For how long will you be staying here?" Meredith asked.

"I took a leave of one week." Martin informed Meredith, having his eyes fixed on the floor.

Meredith knew she turned Martin in an insecure man, it wasn't right for them to continue in such an unhealthy relationship, but still tonight with her son in the same place as them, she couldn't break with him now. Besides Meredith's head was full, this had been a very challenging return to Seattle, it seemed like every day she had a new surprise. She needed time to distance herself from her other problems so that she could analyze the most emergent one.

"So clearly you dropped off your luggage at a hotel before coming here. You should go back there Martin. We will talk tomorrow!" Meredith stated decidedly.

"You are going to make me stay in a hotel? Seriously Meredith? Am I not your boyfriend anymore?"

"I don't know about anything anymore. You coming here to my house at this hour doesn't help either. Please, we will meet tomorrow after work, and we will talk then."

"Tomorrow night? What am I supposed to do till then? Go sightseeing?" Martin asked ironically.

"That's a possibility. I don't care what you will do. Give me time to think and we will talk tomorrow."

Martin gave up for now, he was also tired. He missed Meredith and he was afraid of giving her time to think, he could sense her uneasiness around him and he had only been with her for 15 minutes.

"I'll go then!." Martin stood up and went for the door.

"I'll text you tomorrow Martin. We will talk then!" Meredith said to him, making clear that was the goodbye he would get.

Unexpectedly again, he kissed Meredith, this time soft and quick.

"I miss you Meredith. Please don't throw all of this away! After all we have gone through. I love you!" Receiving only quietness from Meredith, Martin just left.

And just like that, Martin was gone. Leaving Meredith unsure of what had just happened. She heard someone behind her and she turned to look at Jackson staring at her.

"I thought you had gone to bed." Meredith said simply.

"I thought you were going to break up with the guy. Not make out with him in your sofa, making him believe he still had a chance."

"You were there watching? And eavesdropping?" Meredith asked astonished.

"I came to get a glass of water. And I arrived just in the end of the action, thank god!"

"You missed the best part then." Meredith said ironically.

"So what's the plan?"

"I only disclose my plans to my partners in crime! And you are too honest to rob a bank." Meredith answered joking, trying to lighten her mood.

"C'mon tell me, what will you do with the dude?" Jackson asked. "Look I would help you kill him and hide the body. I am totally your partner in crime."

Both Meredith and Jackson started laughing.

"It's a serious situation for us to be making a joke out of it. Martin is suffering and I am dragging him along. For now the only certainty I have is that I should pull him out of his misery." Meredith felt bad for the way Martin was and she answered honestly to Jackson.

"It's seems reasonable! I wouldn't expect anything less from you, it's not your fault though. You can't change how things are and pretend they are good when they are in fact rotting and dying."

"Our relationship is not dying. It's dead, I don't feel anything other than friendship for Martin." Meredith admitted. "It will be over soon."

"Well, I am sorry to tell you but that little make out session, that is not the way to break up with the guy." Jackson added after seeing how Meredith took his words. "Look I am not judging you! It's just that is the type of thing that will make him believe that he still has a chance with you."

"It was unexpected and you are right, I did wrong there. Tomorrow I will straight things up with him. He will overcome this and he will realize it is for the best of all."

"Surely it will be the best for you! And for him as well, he will heal eventually." Jackson said. "So let's go drink a glass of warm milk? For the sake of old times?"

"Well, it was our tradition when we were children. Let's go Jackson!" Meredith said putting her arm around her brother's arm. "Warm milk and some cookies too!"

"Let's go then!" Jackson said smiling and both leaving to the kitchen to fetch their snack before finally going to bed and calling it a night.

* * *

The night was warm and her bed felt like heaven beneath her body, but to her gladness, it wasn't only the bed making her feel what she was feeling.

The curtains were slightly opened, without the window shades blocking the strong light from the moon. Inside everything was dark but the intense moonlight from that night made it seem as if the TV was turned on and everything was visible inside the room.

There he was with his strong back and muscles, he kept kissing her as she laid there without being able to control her movements, in their bedroom everything was silent, with exception of the gasps and moans she emitted. She felt herself overwhelmed by all those emotions, she knew that what they were doing was bad... So bad... He was so evil as he kept pressing his lips against her warm skin and let herself go desperate with the anticipation.

He kept his blue eyes open, casually staring at her with a deep satisfied grin on his face. Damn, there she was ready and available for whatever his plans were, she was on board with whatever he had on mind. It was like at that moment they weren't human beings, they barely said a word, it was all raw and full of animalistic behaviors. Their lives, their work, their relationship, their children, their problems seemed insignificant and pointless, all that matter was the now as he kept taking away her underwear and going straight to the point this time, Meredith could feel herself crumble from all the accumulating anticipation when she heard a shriek... Followed by some laughter and something wet and harsh on her face, it gave her a ticklish feeling, nothing like the emotions Derek's tongue gave to her. When she finally heard words being spoken, Meredith opened her eyes incredulously.

Awaking from her fabulous dream back to reality was hard, but it only took her a few seconds to register who was truly next to her.

"Michael!" Meredith saw her son next to her looking at her with the same blue eyes of his father and their cat close to her face. "Ronny go away!" Meredith gently pushed the cat from her face, patting his white hair in the meantime. "Why are you awake at 3 in the morning Michael?"

"I heard these weird noises coming from your room, I woke up." Michal responded innocently. "Were you having a nightmare?"

"Yes, something like that honey..." Meredith patted Michael to get inside the covers and to sleep until the alarm rang.

"Did you have fun yesterday afternoon?" Meredith asked to her son as she covered him with the blankets.

"I had fun with uncle Jackson and aunt Maggie, but I missed your goodnight kisses…" Michael said, attacking her mother with little sloppy kisses as if it would compensate for the ones he didn't receive last night, both mother and son giggling, Michael soon quieted down and Meredith said to him.

"I went there afterwards to your room to check on you, I gave you a kiss but you were already sleeping so you didn't notice it!"

"The kisses only count if I can remember them." Michael said smartly. "Can I see dad tomorrow?"

"I don't know dad's schedule but I am pretty sure he is dying to see you too! I will talk with him tomorrow at the hospital." Meredith said as Michael yawned."Come on sleepyhead, let's sleep some more. Mommy is sorry for waking you up." Meredith embraced her son and soon he fell asleep in his mother's arms. For Meredith though, sleep didn't come for the rest of the night, the inevitable talk with Martin haunted her sleep and her longing for Derek made her uncomfortable and restless. It felt like the time when she had been pregnant with Michael. With Matilda, the same had happened, but then Derek was always near so the cravings for him weren't that hard to fulfill, in this case it was just impossible to think realistically about them without ending bitter and disappointed. And tomorrow she would face him again without being able to have him the way she wanted to. Meredith felt her life was a true mess, right now she wasn't the successful grown up surgeon but no other than a conflicted teenager.


	25. Chapter 25

**Hello people! I am so sorry! I am ashamed for not having updated the story for this long. I am ok, nothing bad has happened to me, I am back to my country and my work life has just been a little hectic these past months. I am so sorry for having done this to you! I hope you are good as well!**

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter and I will try my hardest to get back on track! Thank you guys!**

Meredith had planned to stop by her daughter's clinic before going to the hospital. She also needed to drop off Jackson at their parent's home for him to change clothes, but before that Michael needed to be taken to school, she successfully avoided her half sister teacher as to her happiness the hospital had called her once she had parked the car in the parking lot, so Jackson took on the role of getting her child to his classroom safely and on time, as well as checking with Molly Grey Thompson if everything was going fine.

"So everything is Okay?" Jackson asked as he came back and entered the car.

"Yes, they just wanted to know if they should re direct an emergency surgery to another doctor or if I would be available. It wasn't a patient of mine and dad is working, so I passed the surgery to him."

"What kind of surgery was it?"

"Nothing fancy. An acute appendicitis. You won't miss much either." "I would watch it if I was there, I will try to get in the case if I hurry to get back into the hospital. Still it's pretty weird seeing Meredith Grey passing over surgeries like that." Jackson said mocking her. "Well, I try to put my kids in first place and this morning I am going to see Mattie. Decorate her room with some pictures and some toys. My life stopped being only concentrated in a hospital after a little egg called my uterus its home." "The miracle of life…" "You will know it when you become a father." Meredith said with a smile. "We'll see about that… I bought some pink lilies yesterday and a nice vase to put them on water, you will like them, Mike assured me of it. Maggie bought some balloons with a Hello Kittie on them." "Thank you Jackson, you are a great brother and uncle! I am lucky for having such a tight united family."

"Well, you are in fact really lucky but we are too!"

"I agree with that. So what did you think of Michael's teacher?" Meredith asked hesitantly.

"Mrs. Thompson seems a little too young, but really understanding and supportive of the kids. Michael seems to like her and she is really warm with him." Jackson told his sister. "Do you think something is off with her?"

"She seems fine! Well, do you know that she is the sister of one of the interns?" Meredith informed Jackson casually.

"Really? Which one?" Jackson asked curiously.

"Alexandra Grey! She told Derek and I about it after she found out we both worked at Seattle Grace."

"I didn't know that, they don't even look alike! Well, I like Lexie, she seems like a nice girl!"

"A nice girl? Just wait until her claws and pointy teeth will come out after the surgery Battle Royale starts happening. Now you all are trying just to mingle with the others, but in the end this is a competition and you all want the exact same thing."

"Claws and pointy teeth? What do you have against the girl? Interns can become friends too." Jackson asked. "Or more than that!"

"So you are thinking about going to bed with her?" Meredith inquired directly.

"That is a very direct question to ask, Meredith! You never cared about any one of my girlfriends before, why do you care now?"

"I don't care about it! Do whatever you wish to do!" Meredith finally said.

"I sure will! Gosh, this pending issue with Martin here in Seattle is making you really weird!"

"This is not about Martin!" This is about my two unknown half sisters that I wasn't aware of and who are very present in my life right now, Meredith wished to say but the words were never spoken.

"It so is, well my advice is for you to not overthink it, it will be over soon if you do what you are supposed to and please don't take your anger out on innocent interns."

"I will keep that in mind!" Meredith said ironically. "Now go, I still have some stuff to do before my shift."

"I will see you at the hospital then sis!" Jackson said as Meredith pulled over to her parents parking lot and waited for her brother to leave the car.

As she was preparing to continue her drive to Mattie's clinic, her cell phone started vibrating, thinking it was Martin was the first thought that went through her head but to her surprise it was no other than her mother.

"Hello mom!" Meredith said.

"Well it's actually dad! Hi darling! Your mother forgot her cell phone in my office," From the other end of the phone call came the masculine voice of Richard Webber. "Are you coming to the hospital soon?"

"Hi dad, I still have to go visit Mattie. Is something going on?"

"Meredith, could you please come and do an emergency surgery yourself? We are short staffed on general surgeons, I need you to take over the acute appendicitis."

"Can't either you or mom do it instead? I really have to see my daughter!"

"Your mother just went to Mercy West to collect a liver from a brain-dead to bring to her patient! She will only return on the afternoon!"

"Is it a VIP patient? A regular patient wouldn't be enough to make Dr. Ellis Webber leave her throne at Seattle Grace!" Meredith stated. "Is it Obama? Or Brad Pitt?"

"Neither one of those! And it's no one special! Just please come to the hospital as soon as possible!"

"Well, what about you?" Meredith felt like there was something she wasn't being told, Richard never stammered and right now he was uncoordinatedly speaking, he was clearly nervous.

"I am not feeling my best right now! Do it please for me, I will cover your rounds from next week, you will get the time to visit Mattie in the afternoon."

"I have pending matters to resolve in the afternoon! Dad, please tell me what is the issue and then I will make my decision!" Meredith stated determined.

"Look, enough of this, I am the authority here!" Richard argued upset.

"You are not my father in the hospital!"Meredith said not giving up.

"But still I am the boss. Go do the surgery Dr. Grey! I am the interim chief while your mother is out of the hospital. Get right here and go perform this emergency surgery."

"Look I will go! But I am not blind to not see that something is really off regarding this!" Meredith gave up and soon started making his way to the hospital.

* * *

After finally arriving at Seattle Grace and getting off the car, Meredith approached the hospital entrance exhausted, Michael had slept calmly after coming to her room last night, she just couldn't fall asleep again. She was really looking forward to having a free morning to visit her daughter calmly, without being bugged by the constant worry that Michael needed to have dinner and go to sleep early or that she needed to get back to the hospital, she also needed to think of everything that had happened to her life in the last few days.

Additionally there was a discomfort on her body for feeling unsatisfied from the dream of the previous night, she just hoped she wouldn't come across with her main sleep disturber at work too. It seemed like the odds weren't on her favor though, from the corner her knight in a white lab coat appeared.

"Good morning Meredith!" Derek greeted as both entered the elevator. That was so bad being in such a small place with Derek, she felt her hormones jumping up and down, she felt herself sweating and incredibly nervous. "So did everything go smoothly with Mike's trip to school this morning?"

"What? Why wouldn't everything be ok?" Meredith asked nervously.

"I don't know! You seem weird… Are you sure that you are feeling fine?" Derek asked as he went to put his hand on her forehead. "Your cheeks are so rosy, it looks as if you have a fever."

Meredith let herself appreciate Derek's touch, closing her eyes while he touched her and pushed her hair behind her ears.

"You are hot, but thankfully not because of a fever. It's just a natural trait of yours." Derek joked flirtingly and charming as always, this wasn't helping Meredith right now."So what about this morning?"

"What?" Meredith asked startled.

"Our son Michael, how was the morning trip to school? What is going on?" Derek repeated looking at her in a suspicious way.

"Michael is fine, he was actually excited this morning."

"Good. So what are the plans for after school?" Derek asked.

"My mother might pick him up and take him to her home." Meredith informed him. "If you are ok with it! Obviously."

"My day is impossible today, back to back surgeries but I really wanted to be with Mike today."

"He really wanted to be with you today as well! What time do you finish work?" Meredith asked.

"My shift will only end at 8pm… I will probably be out of it to take Michael to get dinner out though."

"Well, come and eat dinner tonight with us at my home." Meredith suggested impulsively, remembering Michael's words of him missing his father.

"I'd really like that a lot!" Derek said, smiling to Meredith. "I will bring the food."

"I won't really say no to that!" Then Meredith asked. "Do you know what's going on with my dad?"

"Is something supposed to be happening?" Derek asked.

"I don't know, it seemed like something was off."

"I honestly have no idea!" The elevator finally stopped and they both left, as they got close to the Nurse's station, they noticed Richard hurriedly walking to the Nurse's desk and handing a chart to one of the nurses, then leaving. Meredith saw the nurse depositing the patient's file close to all the others from the other patients.

"Maybe it just a bad case he is in…" Derek suggested, his pager started beeping loudly and he left. "I have to go, we will talk about this night's plans over lunch if you don't mind."

"Seems good to me!" Meredith said as Derek left already in a fast pace to attend to the emergency.

That's when Meredith realized that she had her own emergency surgery to attend as well, but before leaving to get changed to her scrubs, she picked up the chart that her father had left in the nurse's station.

At the attending's locker room, she was just finishing getting changed when her brother in law came inside.

"Morning Mer!" Alex Karev greeted her, he sat down in a chair next to a table nearby and started reading a magazine.

"Hi Alex! Slow day?"

"Definitely not a busy one!" Alex answered, with his eyes not leaving the magazine.

"How about you do me a favor?" Meredith thought quite quickly as she glimpsed the unopened and yet undiscovered medical chart of her father's patient.

"What do I gain for doing it?" Alex asked, without first asking what she was referring to.

"Next Maggie's fertile cycle, I will ensure both your shifts and hers are covered so that you can be 100% focused in baby making." Meredith proposed. "You will have enough time to put a baby inside my sister."

As soon as Meredith was saying this, her little brother Jackson came inside the attending's lounge overhearing the end of Meredith's sentence.

"I am not really sure I want to know what you are discussing. I have blocked it from getting registered by my brain." Jackson said to both Alex and Meredith.

"What's up Jackson?" Alex asked quickly, not wanting people to know that they were having difficulties conceiving.

"Mer, Dr. Bailey wants to know if she can schedule the appendectomy in 1 hour in OR 2. Are you good with that?" Jackson asked, he came back to the hospital quickly after she had dropped him at home, he managed to be the intern assisting on the case.

"Alex will take it over, I am not available to do it." Meredith looked to Alex, and with her pleading eyes let him know that was the favor she was asking him, even though he was a Pediatrics Surgeon, he would often perform General Surgeries.

"Ok, I will do it. Jackson, go tell your resident to book the OR and to meet me in my office to discuss the case in 15 minutes" Alex ordered. "Hand me over the patient's chart as well."

Jackson left the lounge and Alex went on the same way, before leaving the room he told Meredith.

"It will be next week by the way, mark it in your calendar, on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday all I want to see is Maggie's naked body." Alex said.

"All I can get you is the free time, you are the one responsible for the rest." Meredith said winking. "Ohhh, and don't forget your fertility magazine, it has all the hottest tricks."

Alex came back to the table to pick up the magazine quietly.

"C'mon there is no shame in reading about the topic." Meredith said after noticing how Alex face dropped down, something very unusual for Alex. "You know you can talk to me if you need. I have been gone for some time, but we used to be best friends Alex. Before you and my sister and me and Derek, we were inseparable."

"You don't know how hell this has been, you got knocked up with Matilda by accident, you got Mike unplanned as well. Your kids all have been given to you in a silver plate. You didn't have to go through sessions of scheduled sex, the disappointment of failing to conceive after every month, of fertility shots and doctor's appointments. And magazines and unproven tricks that will help you creating a life into your family. It's been hard on me and Maggie."

"I know I didn't go through that but you can talk to me nonetheless. Alex, this is just a phase, you are a doctor, you know how long it can take. Don't let your marriage fall apart because of this."

"I love Maggie, I love Maggie so much! I really want to give this to her."

"I know you do, you will get your baby soon." Meredith said and Alex nodded.

"Yes, I know." Alex said and left.

Meredith hadn't realized before how Alex and probably Maggie were suffering to conceive a child, truthfully she had been quite absorbed by her own problems that she forgot to look at everything else around her. She would talk to her sister concerning the matter as soon as she had the opportunity.

As she was captured in her thoughts, she remembered that she still hadn't checked on the case that her father was attending to. When she started to open the first page, her cell phone started ringing, announced in its screen was the name of her still boyfriend.

"Hello!" Meredith simply said.

"Hi Meredith" After a short pause, Martin continued. "I was nearby so I thought maybe I could meet you up at the hospital."

"I have just come in, now it is not a good time."

"How about for lunch?" Michael suggested. "We really need to talk."

Meredith remembered promising Derek that they would discuss the end of the day's plans over lunch, besides having Martin come over to the hospital was not something she wanted.

"Look, let's meet up in the café next to the hospital at 17h. Is that ok for you?" Meredith suggested.

"Well, I don't really think there is another option in the table. Ok, let's meet up there."

"I really must go, I will see you there then!" Meredith said.

"See you Meredith!" Martin was sad, Meredith noticed, his voice lacked energy. She was making him sad, she really needed to let him go.

Finally she thought she would have 15 minutes to go over her father's patient chart before returning it to its place. She started in the first page.

The patient's name startled her, it was Adele Webber, could it be someone from her father's family? She never heard that Richard had a relative named Adele. She was 56 years old, her mother Ellis was the Main Surgeon in the case, astonishingly Richard name was not on it, he was not overseeing this case, it made sense if the woman was someone from the family, but why didn't her father told her about it? There should have been more to this story.

The patient had come into the ER yesterday at 19h, disoriented, vomiting blood, the diagnosis was end stage Cirrhosis. So this was to whom her mother was getting a liver, the only solution would be a liver transplant, the disease was far advanced, the tests performed on the woman ensured her that this was the only solution for this case.

Meredith decided to go into the patient's room and find out more about her. Once she got there, Meredith noticed that the woman was awake, the woman noticed her and gave her a gentle smile, which Meredith reciprocated, she decided that as she had been spotted, she should come into the room.

Meredith noticed that her dark skin had a yellow tone to it due to the disease, her eyes were yellowish as well.

"Hello love!" The woman said in a friendly manner. "You know you look really like your mother!"

"I am sorry, I …" Meredith said, feeling the need to justify herself. "I just came to check on you."

"I doubt it, Richard is the one who is personally handling my care, your mother as well. I guess the guilt will never wash off." The woman said serenely. "And I don't really believe he told you about me."

"No, he didn't. I noticed your last name in the chart. It's my father's name."

"And why haven't you asked your father about me?" Adele asked.

"He chose not to say anything for a reason…" Meredith answered.

"Richard is not your father, Meredith. I am sick but I still can clearly see the Grey surname on your lab coat from here. Thatcher is the one who fathered you." Adele argued, Meredith noticed how the woman already knew her first name without Meredith having reveled it and her birth father's name as well.

"Richard is the one who raised me. Thatcher, I haven't seen that man since I was 4, I don't even remember how he looks like anymore he was never around for me." This conversation was leaving Meredith sour, she didn't want to talk about her birth father, she had no idea why the woman was bringing it up. "Who are you?" Meredith finally asked.

"I am Adele Webber, that bit I am sure you know. We have met before. You were just a small happy child at the time, your father was oblivious as was I. Thatcher, I mean." Adele clarified. "Thatcher and I were unaware the all time."

"Unaware of what?" Meredith asked irritated, the woman was pushing her nerves, talking cryptically.

"You know Richard never wanted children, I respected that even though I yearned for them." Adele continued. "He was a doctor and a career oriented man, for me it came as no surprise when he started coming back home late after a shift had already ended hours before. I thought he was studying the hardest to achieve everything he most wanted, he was using all the time he had to get into surgeries. But it seems that I was wrong…"

"My father loves his children, he is a good father… I don't know what you mean!" Meredith argued.

"I don't doubt it Meredith! Richard is a good, caring man. Now I can see it, he just never wanted to have a child with me! I was not the one for him, I wished I had knew right at the beginning."

"Tell me now, who are you?" Meredith asked, stressed out.

"I am your father's first wife! I was the one who he cheated on with your mother, I am the one he left once your mother found out she was pregnant with your sister, I am the woman whose heart was completely broken by the man who you call your father. The same man, who with your mother, did the exact same thing to the man who you are completely indifferent to, Thatcher Grey might not be in a hospital bed right now but he is as much a victim as I was, and they know how wrong it was everything they did… They got to have the happy life they wished for and whereas the others were…"

Suddenly Richard Webber put a stop to the conversation by entering the room, as Adele noticed him, she stopped talking. Meredith looked to her father, shocked, she didn't know what to say.

"Dad?" It was only what Meredith managed to utter, she felt so confused, she didn't know what else to say.

"Meredith, go to my office right now, I will get to you in a bit." Richard said severely, Meredith felt that he too was angry for her to be finding out business that did not concern her behind his back. She felt a child again. "And leave the chart with me…"

Meredith went on her way without giving a second glance to the ill woman in the bed. She was trying her hardest to remember the early events of her life, of clear images that would allow her to know what really had happened when her mother broke up with Thatcher and got together with Richard, she was unsuccessful though, no images came. The earliest memories she had were of Richard teaching her how to ride a bike. The only clarification possible on this seemed to only be able to come out from the people who had lived it. She hoped her father would contradict that woman's tale, she knew her parents were not bad people, how could this story be true then?


End file.
